Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy's Big Picture Show: Behind the Scenes
Disclaimer: I don't own the Eds, nor anything else. There are some spoilers mentioned, so please tread with caution if you haven't seen the film!
"...and cut! That's a wrap people, great job!"
From director Danny Antonucci, and after three years of work, the Eds movie was finally complete. While the kids all go off to relax, one man wants to talk to the cast about the movie. His name? TheShamanMaster. (That's me)
"Phew!" Eddy wipes the sweat off his brow. "I'm glad I don't have to do that again! I was getting worn out from all those poundings and drops!"
"Well..." Double D is handed a glass of water by one of the staff. "...I have to admit, this is a triumph for us all, gentlemen."
"...and it's all thanks to me!" Ed shouts happily.
"Whaddya mean!?" Eddy retorts.
"If it wasn't for me lifting that loose screw from the door hinge, you would've been flat as a pancake, Eddy! Mmmhm...pancakes with gravy..." Ed's mouth drools.
"Yeah...but well...I could've beat 'em! I know I could've!"
"Hey!" Danny calls out. "Not so loud, we're all tired from filming. Now if you don't mind, keep it down!"
The rest of the kids walk towards the lounge, where drinks are being served. Rolf, who is still traumatised by Wilfred trying to kill him, is given a large leg of ham to eat with. Noticing the camera's in front of him, he gets slightly annoyed.
"Why do you poke this thing in front of Rolf's face!? Hasn't the son of the shepherd already been through enough madness as it is!? Leave Rolf in peace!"
Going to punch the camera, he decides that his ham is more important.
"Chill dude." Kevin says as he sits down with his friend. "Hey camera guy..." He directs the camera to his face. "So anyway, we finished the movie, and I'm surprised Eddy didn't manage to crack up during that last scene. I have to admit, the dork's got some class..." As he slurps his drink, his expression turns slightly nasty. "But I can't believe that Eddy got a kiss from Nazz! I thought I was going to be the hero of this picture!"
"Last time I checked shovelchin, the title had OUR names on it, not yours!" Eddy replies.
Kevin continues drinking. "Dork." He mutters under his breath.
Moving on to Nazz, who is currently relaxing in her chair, getting a facial treatment.
"Nazz, tell us, how did you feel about kissing Eddy? I mean, you've already kissed Double D in one of the previous episodes, did it feel nerve-racking?" TSM asks.
Nazz chuckles. "Well, it wasn't that bad...I mean, me and Eddy are just good friends. But I will admit Double D's reaction was a lot better. I'm still so surprised at how Kevin chose to rescue his stupid bike instead of me! I mean the nerve!"
"Hey babe, it wasn't my choice!" Kevin calls back. "Blame the writing staff!"
Danny looks over, with a very pissed off look. "Be surprised I don't fire you now, you smart allec!"
"Ookay..." I sweat drop, not wanting to be in this feud. "Moving on..." I spot Ed munching on a huge plate of mash potatoes and gravy. Eddy is looking frustrated.
"Man, he can eat!" The short Ed complains.
Double D chuckles. "Loveable oaf."
"Double D." I grab his attention. "How did you feel about working on a full length feature? How did it feel finally snapping after all these years of being the weaker one?"
He ponders for a moment. "It felt quite refreshing, if I do say so myself. Being a major character in a long-running show like this, and moving on to a movie; it was a positive experience and a good change of pace..."
"Yeah, if I only I could've had made some cash for once! But who cares, everyone loves us!" Eddy pipes in.
"Eddy, don't interrupt." Double D scolds, before returning to the camera. "You were saying, Mr ShamanMaster-"
"-Oh, film me, film me!" Johnny 2x4 pokes me from behind. Annoyingly.
"Hey melonhead!" Eddy says. "Aren't you suppose to be the bad guy now!?
"That's nothing...what's that Plank?" Johnny puts Plank to his ear. "Plank says the movie should've been longer, thereby allowing more character development, The Gourd getting revenge and adding more than one car chase scene...I don't get it either..."
"We didn't that much time for all that, yet alone another car chase scene..." Eddy grumbles. "How many cars did we end up totalling?"
"Five test ones for crashing through the roof, and another two for the rock smash scene..." Danny joins us with his cup of coffee.
"Who's paying for all that?"
"Cartoon Network of course. The longer they decide to leave the movie away from its designated premiere date, the more they'll cough up for the damages done to our props."
"Speaking of which..." Double D adds briefly. "What happened to the boat?"
"That's going back into storage. We might use it for the sequel..."
Everyone looks over to what he's just said. "What!?"
"Erm...nothing." Danny shakes his head.
"Anyway, people, I'm trying to make a good 'Making of' for our fans here!" I gesture to everyone. "Now, Sarah and Jimmy, would you like to say anything?"
Pulling the camera towards her, Sarah speaks.
"Well, me and Jimmy did have fun; it's just we didn't like being horses to a cart full of mad hyenas!
"And these stretch marks are gonna be here for weeks..." Jimmy mumbles as he remembers back to the horrific Kankers incident.
"Yeah, that was painful..." Double D places his hand on Jimmy's shoulder. "But you'll get through it."
"Rolf will not forget what this picture show has caused!" Everyone looks over to see Rolf with an angry look.
"Dude, what's the deal?" Kevin asks confused.
"The swine has tormented this son of a-"
"Hey watch the language." I warn our foreign friend with a finger. "This making of remains strictly PG only."
"Yeah, and by the way..." The director gives him a stern look. "What was this that language you pulled earlier on in the film? Be glad we had a filter, and we changed the closed captions to something else."
"Rolf was angry, not in control of himself. A thousand apologies..."
Ed however jumps and takes the camera off me.
"Ed wants to show how he managed to drive a car with his feet..." he points the camera downward. "These boys sure get worn out!" He takes off his shoes, and his feet are all red and dirty."
"Oh lord!" Double D proclaims. "Ed, please see a chiropodist as soon as possible!"
"Don't worry Double D! I know my shoe-size!"
" A chiropodist!"
Eddy shakes his head. "Enough! I'm surprised we didn't die when we went flying..."
"Well, we did pay homage to the Flintstones..."
"Are we gonna get sued?" Eddy wonders. "Because I don't want to loose any money!"
"Homage Eddy, not plagiarism. Two different things." The sock-head Ed manages to grab the camera off our big Ed. "Now, to continue, I'd like to say that I was really unsatisfied with the swamp scene! Dirty, dirty, icky!"
Rachel Connor, one of the writers, comes and joins Danny. "We wanted to show that you guys could survive through anything. The swamp scene and our desert locations were perfect for this."
"I almost got processed in that factory." Nazz adds with a frown. "You tell me that that was to show what I was made of? Plus, I had to shave my hair for this film; it's going to be weeks before it grows back..."
"If it makes you feel better, you still look nice Nazz..." Double D remarks.
"Aww thanks Double D, you're so sweet."
Kevin and Eddy look at Edd, and then look back at each other.
"Don't even get me started, dork." Kevin says darkly.
"The same goes for you, shovelchin." Eddy counters.
"Hey, hey, let's not fight." Jimmy cries. "We're all friends now right? I mean, we even had the friendship song at the end..."
"Tell me about it." Johnny says, munching on some nachos.
"Rolf asks, why did we have that musical number? Couldn't we have had the old folk song passed down from Rolf's ancestors?" The farmer has finished his ham, and has moved onto steak slices.
Everyone looks at him. Rachel speaks up. "To be honest, we couldn't find anything more appropriate."
"The Mortal Kombat theme would've been better..."
Jimmy is saddened, but Sarah cheers him up.
"One last thing..." I look round at everyone. "Whatever happened to the Kankers and Eddy's Brother?"
"Beats me. But he's getting a taste of Kanker right where it hurts!" Eddy grins the most evil grin he's ever done in the shows history.
"Another question, what about that scam?"
"The incident that triggered the whole movie in the first place?" Danny laughs. "We'll leave that for the audience to make up their own minds on."
"What a copout." Eddy replies.
"It's a good thing though Eddy. It gives the viewers a chance to use their imagination and decide for themselves a prequel to our series..."
"...or write dumb fanfiction about it!"
The room goes silent, and Danny doesn't look too impressed. Everyone looks at the short Ed with a death glare. Eddy gets a lump in his throat.
"Hey guys I think I'm going to wrap this up." I take the camera from Double D. "This is TheShamanMaster, and you've had a behind the scenes look at Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy's Big Picture Show. Which brings this saga of Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy to a close. Guys, you've bought us a decade of laughs and slapstick that we'll remember in our years to come!"
"You mean it's all over!?" Ed goes all teary-eyed. "It can't be over! Ed has so much left to do!" He starts crying, yet is comforted by all the kids.
"Don't worry, big Ed." Jimmy says happily.
"Yeah, we've still got our ever-lasting fanbase." Nazz adds.
"-don't forget DeviantART!" Johnny adds
"-and fanfiction dot net." Edd finishes.
"All except that last one." Eddy mumbles.
"I'm glad to have done this." Danny says proudly. "Now, I think it's time to round this off."
Just then, Eddy's Brother comes running into the lounge, shutting the door behind him. He's covered in makeup and bruises.
"Oh my..." Double D is shocked.
Grabbing the camera from me, the older sibling is not looking best pleased. "I hope it was worth making my appearance after ten years! You folks at home best appreciate what I did! I'll back, in fandom very shortly, plotting my revenge against these ankle-biters!"
All the kids then jump on him and tie him up. The Kankers walk in and end my recording with a final message.
"I'm so glad that we could be a part of this, do you think we'll get an Oscar? Or a Grammy?" May says.
"We have to!" Lee says blankly. "We practically saved these Eds!"
"Right everyone, we're running out of film! See ya!"
FIN
Hope you all enjoyed this little fic.
RIP Ed, Edd n Eddy 1999-2009.
