Summary: Just a short one shot about some of Scully's thoughts while she misses Mulder.
Disclaimer: The show is not mine in any way, shape, or form. If it were there would be no season 9 and they would live happily ever after.
Miracle Child
Scully knew from the beginning that her pregnancy would be different. Whether it was aliens, government conspiracies, IVF treatment, or just a night in the sack this baby was a miraculous conception. So when the light fluttering of the baby started earlier than usual it was not that big of a surprise.
Scully had taken to talking to the tiny being when they were alone. She found herself lonely without Mulder and felt a small connection to him through this. It was when she was making herself some dinner and telling the little life form inside her about her missing partner.
"His name is Mulder. He is your daddy but don't worry I will find him." She said ending the long explanation that led up to it. "I will find your daddy." She froze then as she felt a slight flutter in her stomach. Knowing what she said next to be impossible she went on anyways, "Do you know what I am saying?" Another small explosion of butterflies erupted in her belly. Scully laid her hand against the small swell in her belly.
She felt light headed and walked over to the couch. As soon as she hit the cushion she burst into tears. She was not one for big shows of emotion but since the pregnancy she had cried at least once a day. It was always alone and usually at night as she held a well-worn tee shirt that smelled like Mulder. She would cry into it and usually fall asleep with tears on her cheeks.
This was different though that crying was for the man that she missed and for the fear that surrounded his disappearance. This crying was for the future of her and this child. For the first time Scully realized that this was all real. She was truly pregnant and alone. Of course she was not fully alone. She had her mother and Skinner and the lone gunmen but without Mulder no one else mattered.
She never allowed herself to wonder into the idea that perhaps Mulder would never return. She couldn't allow herself to think that or she knew that she would just curl up in bed and never want to leave. But for one small moment she felt a fear like none other.
What if Mulder never came back? A sob racked her whole body and she knew she needed to shake that thought and calm down. Mulder would tell her that she had more important things to worry about than where he was at that moment. He would remind her that there was nothing to be done right now and that she needed to focus on herself and this baby. She pushed aside this logic though and allowed herself to wallow for a little bit in a way she had not done since his disappearance.
Self pity is not something Scully indulged in often but she had been holding it all back for too long when the dam broke. After a little while she began to work on the tears and snot that had gathered on her face. Then she felt the little flutter in her belly again as if the child was reaching out to comfort her. With that small movement came a moment of calm. No matter what happened she had this child and she was never letting it go.
