Dean was buried to the hilt in a rather attractive brunette when Cas walked into his room.
"Cas!" The girl, who had previously had her eyes closed, cracked them open and frowned.
"No, Maxie. Ma-xie." Dean looked at her like the idiot she was.
"Not you hi-oh! Mm, yeah, do that again." Dean was momentarily distracted from the angel who seemed completely oblivious to the private sexy times going on right in front of him and was rummaging through the box of DVDs on the bottom shelf.
"Ca-Cas, what the hell! Du-d-nggh." Dean was really trying to be bothered about this but Maxie obviously really wasn't bothered at all by the way she kept moving. Cas looked up and tilted his head quizzically.
"You do not bother me with your copulation Dean, I have seen you coupling many times before."
"Wha-!" But Cas interrupted his exclamations of outrage before they could properly begin.
"Have you seen the Lion King dvd, I can't find it downstairs." DVDs! Dean was in the middle of awesome mind blowing sex and Cas wanted to talk about Disney.
"I think I saw… a few boxes under… uh, under the bed." The brunette replied breathily as she wiggled in a way that made Dean quickly forget whatever he was about to say. He felt hot and embarrassed and way too past it to rally any argument that required actual words.
"OhmyGo-"
"Please do not blaspheme Dean." Cas' voice came from under the bed. God could this get any more surreal! "Ah, found it." He appeared within sightline again, hair ever messier than usual. Dean groaned with pleasure and frustration.
"Ca-as, get, out! Ah!"Maxie seemed to like aggravated Dean and started moving even faster. Cas- finally, began to leave. Just before he closed the door though, he caught Maxie's eye and said with a completely straight face, "He very much enjoys being bitten, you might wish to try it."
He shrugged casually and shut the door. Maxie grinned at Dean who was pretty convinced he was going insane right now.
"Mm, I like your boyfriend." And she bit down hard on his shoulder wiping out any protest as Dean convulsed with pleasure.
As he came down, sweaty and sticky and pretty speechless, he resolved to get locks for the bedroom door.
Sam watched Dean see his latest conquest out the door with what Dean would probably call a pretty supreme bitch face.
"It was nice meeting you Dean." She smiled seductively. Dean leered at her.
"It was a real pleasure." He drawled. The girl laughed and kissed his cheek.
"Hey, I'm not complaining. Tell angel eyes to stick around next time, he's cute." Dean fought the blush down manfully and smirked.
"Yeah, well. I'll pass the message on." Sam had to hide his laughter as Dean closed the door and proceeded to bang his head against it loudly.
"If you give yourself concussion I'm not waking you up in the night." Dean made a mournful noise.
"Ugh."
"I mean it Dean."
"UGH! Sammy- I'm recovering from mental trauma here!" Sam snorted.
"He saw you have sex, I've seen you have sex Dean." Dean groaned.
"I've had it Sam! I can't even get laid without him ruining it! Cas, CAS!"
He strode into the TV room ready to ream the angel for all he was worth and was stopped short by the sight of Castiel, Angel of Thursday, crying.
Crap.
"Cas?" Dean approached him tentatively. "Cas, er, are you okay?" Castiel hid his face in his hands, shoulders shaking heavily. "Cas?" Dean patted his shoulder awkwardly. "Cas I-"
"Dean!" Dean let out a strangled noise as he was pulled into a damp embrace, his face landing in the sofa cushion as Cas clinged to his middle. He flailed helplessly.
"Mufasa." Cas wailed. "Mufasa."
And he'd thought the night couldn't get any worse.
Gabriel surveyed his sleeping brother with amusement. Castiel had manipulated Dean into a sort of half blanket, half teddy bear position. Dean, whose head was resting embarrassingly close to Cas' neck, was drooling. Gabriel summoned a camera and took a picture.
For good measure he teleported into Sam's room and took a picture of him stretched out on his bed too, long hair adorably sticking up against the pillow. If you were gonna be a creeper, you might as well do it properly was his motto. At least it was now.
Sam woke up to find a photograph of his sleeping form signed in what looked alarmingly like Cas' eyeliner.
Sweet Dreams Sasquatch. G. X
As he sat down to breakfast with a bleary eyed Dean Sam noticed his cereal kept rearranging itself into phallic shaped images.
"I think we need to set up some rules about angels and privacy."
Dean snorted. "You think."
