Don't own House or Wilson. Boo Hiss. But totally own the store worker. :D

A/N: House/Wilson fluffy goodness. One shot. Both men try to agree on what DVD to watch for a night in. House/Wilson pairing. Implied slash.

R&R (if you fancy) and most importantly, enjoy :D


"Die Hard." House held up a DVD case with Bruce Willis on the front.

"Sleepless in Seattle." Wilson countered with a Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks combination.

"Die Hard." House waved the case firmly.

"Sleepless in Seattle." Both men refused to back down. "Come on House. We've seen Die Hard a million times."

House tutted loudly. "Fine!" He placed the case back onto the shelf and pulled out another one, which he stuck in the air. "How about Die Hard 2?"

Wilson chuckled. "Very clever House but no. It's the same damn film but in an airport."

House opened his mouth in mock offence. "No it's not. Die Hard had the mad German guy played by the mad English guy who took over the huge plaza and killed the Japanese guy. Die Hard 2 is set in the airport. Has some mad American guy playing a mad mercenary American guy and Bruce Willis has less hair."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Sounds the same to me. Anyway we never watch a film I like. It's always either some graphic porn or a film where everything gets blown to hell."

House looks bemused. "And you don't want to see that?" House placed the DVD back down. "You're totally the woman of this relationship, honey."

"Thanks." Wilson waved the DVD in his hand. "So shall I get this one or not?"

"Not." House limped away towards a different section of the shop.

"Hey! Where you going?" House didn't answer. Wilson shook his head and put the DVD back onto the shelf. He began browsing the other racks.

Choosing a film that both he and House liked had become a chore since they got together. Wilson liked quiet, gentle and romantic films whereas House would go for the most graphic and violent films possible. It was hard striking a balance between the two. House had the duty previously of selecting the films of choice but Wilson had decided to wade in after House brought home Hostel and Cannibal Holocaust. Both of which were the most disgusting films Wilson had ever seen.

He sat there with a eternal look of disgust at the graphic torture and cannibalism, while House sat there transfixed at what was unfolding on screen, occasionally nudging Wilson and saying how cool the scene was. Needless to say after watching such stomach churning scenes, there was no sex that night, much to House's disappointment.

A bulky young man approached Wilson, who was still flicking through the racks of films. "You need a hand there man?"

Wilson looked up at the man who had invaded his personal space. He was literally on his shoulder and Wilson could smell the weak scent of teenage musk. He took a slight step away from the offending body. "No I am OK thanks. Just looking." He gave a weak smile, hoping his answer would hint to the man to go away.

"We have some movies on special for rental this week."

"Thanks. But I think we are OK." The man's shoulders slumped and he slowly paced away from Wilson.

"Wilson!" House was waving a DVD in the air but Wilson couldn't quite make out the cover. "How about this one? Anal Penetration 2! All the man on man action you could ever want."

Wilson put his hands over his face, absolutely mortified by his partner's bellowing suggestion. He could feel his entire body flush in sheer embarrassment.

"It could get us in the mood, if you know what I mean!"

Does he have no shame? Great way to embarrass me House. Wilson leant onto the DVD rack still trying to hide his face and ignore House's yelling. He knew house was doing this deliberately to get a rise out of him and it was working. Wilson peeked through his fingers and saw the musky man behind the counter trying to stifle a laugh. Bastard.

"Wilson!" House was still trying to catch the attention of his partner to see how much fun he could drain from this situation. "Come on. It'll be like watching ourselves on screen."

Wilson got up from leaning on the rack and made his way towards House. His hands still covered his face, his head was bowed. When he got to where House was standing he straightened his arms down to his sides, trying his best to look mad. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" His voice was lowered to almost a whisper.

House waved his hand in dismissive fashion. "Just declaring our love Jimmy."

"What? By shouting.."Wilson looked carefully around and mouthed anal penetration.

"You want me to shout something more graphic." House opened his mouth in preparation to yell something else.

Wilson waved his hands frantically. "No! Goddamn it House." He rubbed his face with his hands. "You're impossible." Wilson turned on his heels and stormed out of the shop.

House stood still, somewhat confused about what had just happened. It took him a few seconds to collect his thoughts and follow Wilson out of the shop.

He found Wilson sitting on the pavement outside the entrance of the shop. "Hey pretty boy. What was that all about?"

Wilson cupped his face with his hands. "Nothing. I just overreacted. I'm sorry."

House moved round, stood beside Wilson and nudged him with his cane. "Hey. Don't make me go all Dr Phil on you."

"No it's nothing. Seriously."

House hit Wilson on the head with the bottom of his cane. "Tell me or this is going up somewhere else."

Wilson rubbed his head and pursed his lips."Ow. That hurt."

"Stop being a baby. What's wrong?"

Wilson tilted his head and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "It's just...I dunno. This is still kind of strange you know. Being with you. Being partners. I suppose I am still trying to get used to all."

House gazed downwards, knowing that Wilson had more to say. "And...."

"And...well I just kind of want it to be our thing for now. I'm not embarrassed of us being together, I just need to get to used to it myself. I mean your House and I'm Wilson. We used to joke about being gay and being together. But now we are. It's great believe me, but it's still a bit surreal you know." Wilson grimaced at House. "Do I sound like an ass?"

House scrunched his nose up. "No. But you do sound like a sissy." House beckoned Wilson up from his seated position on the pavement. "Let's find a decent movie some time today."

House gestured his cane towards the entrance of the store. Wilson went up ahead and opened the door, holding it open for House to slip in also. The musky teen at the desk looked up at the two grown men who had re-entered the shop.

"What are you staring at Carson?" House picked the first teen name that came into his head.

The teen looked confusingly at House. "Um.. My name is Jeff."

"Moron." Wilson slapped House on the side of the arm. "Ow."

"Leave him alone."

House gently rubbed his arm. "So I guess this is the part where I am all nice and understanding and I allow you to pick the movie."

"That's the idea."

House groaned loudly. "You've watched way too many romantic movies. You need your bubble burst."

"Stop being grouchy House. It suits you too well." Wilson stopped in his tracks and turned to face House, posing in his familiar Peter Pan stance. "So are you going to let me choose this movie or not?"

"No. I'm going to choose it." Before Wilson could say anything else, House had already started hobbling towards the DVD rack to the right. "Get your ass to the counter. I'll be there in a minute."

Wilson reluctantly turned and headed towards the counter and the musky teen once again. He prepared himself for another evening of disembowelled bodies and gratuitous violence. The teen at the counter nodded in acknowledgement, not really knowing what to say in such an uncomfortable situation. Wilson began drumming his fingers on the counter, waiting anxiously as he watched House's eyes scan the rack. Please not Die Hard. Please not Die Hard.

He saw House's light up as he picked a DVD off the rack and headed towards the counter. It's Die hard. It's Die Hard.

"Here you go Carson. Put that through." House handed the case over to the teen who was making a habit of looking confused.

"My name is Jeff." The teen outstretched his hand to grab the case.

Wilson's spirit perked up as he saw what House had handed over. "You chose Sleepless in Seattle?"

"Not for you. My logic is that you will enjoy it, thus you will be in a good mood. Also you get all gooey whenever you watch a romantic movie meaning that afterwards you will want to be gooey with me. Meaning I get sex, you get to watch a movie you like and we all win." Wilson smiled. "But mostly I do. Obviously"

"Of course." Wilson nodded in agreement. House would never admit he did something nice to benefit others. It was always the benefit for him that seemingly overrode anything else but Wilson knew better. Deep down there was an old romantic waiting to get out. It was just up to Wilson to reach it and pull it out.

"Here you go sirs. It's due back in two days." House whisked the bag out of the hand of teen and handed it to Wilson.

"You happy now?" House asked he and Wilson made their way towards the exit.

Wilson tried hard to stifle a giggle. "Yes. Very much so."

"Right. Come on. Let's get this crappy movie over with." Wilson let House walk ahead of him as he thought of how much an achievement this actually was. He had chinked Gregory House's notoriously sturdy armour. He had finally got House to do something nice, something romantic.

Wilson couldn't wait for the next time.


Can you feeeeel the fluff? :D