Why can't anybody write a nice, happy story about the Teletubbies? Well here is a story to appease the little children of ff.net. I hope I do not make them cry.

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It was a beautiful in Teletubbie Land and the sun rose up over the hills and squealed with delight. But today something was wrong! The Teletubbies didn't come out of their house singing and laughing with each other. Today it was quiet. The sun looked around for the Teletubbies but alas, they were gone.

Far away, high in the sky, is where the Teletubbies had gone. The night before, Tinky-Winky had awoke to find a real spaceship outside! The lights flashed and it made an appealing humming noise. He ran over to Dipsy's bed and shook him awake.

"Dipsy! Outside! Look!"

Dipsy rubbed his sleepy eyes and scolded Tinky-Winky for waking him up at night but then he to saw the blinky lights on the spaceship.

"AHH! Tinky-Winky! Look!" Dipsy screamed and pointed to the window as if Tinky-Winky hadn't seen it already.

Now all this commotion woke up Po and LaaLaa since both of them were light sleepers. They had the same reaction that Dipsy had had and suddenly Po began to walk out of the house and towards the neat little ship!

All of the Teletubbies tried to stop little Po, but to their great despair, they could not. They opted to follow Po onto the ship instead. Once they got on the little spaceship, the door promptly shut and locked behind them and the ship flew up and into outer space!

"We've been waiting to capture Teletubbies for a long, long time now." Said a girl's voice over a loudspeaker. The Teletubbies were very confused but too stupid to be afraid. They went on cooing and fawning over one another, like always.

Finally the ship reached Pluto and a robotic hand shoved all the Teletubbies on the little planet. As suddenly as it had come, the spaceship drove away, leaving the 4 little creatures abandoned on the planet.

LaaLaa finally started to cry and Tinky-Winky gave her a hug.

"Thank you Tinky-Winky, thank you!" She said and they all sat down on a rock. It was cold and they were all shivery and sad.

Back in Teletubbie Land the bunnies were also worried. Now these were special bunnies and so they had special powers. They formed a great league of Super Bunnies and flew (yes, they grew wings) everywhere, looking for their favorite Teletubbies.

At last they got a secret tip from their secret friends, the squirrels, and they were off to Pluto to save the Teletubbies! Hooray! You can imagine the excitement the Teletubbies felt when they say a hundred flying rabbits coming towards them in space!

"Let's go Teletubbies! We have to get back to Teletubbie Land!" The bunnies said and so all four Teletubbies jumped on the backs of the bunnies and they were headed for ho----Argh! I give up! They all had wild orgies! Yes! They had wild and crazy animal sex with the rabbits! The rabbits, being so mentally scarred already, begged for more so the Teletubbies complied and it went on for hours!

Yes, yes! Hours and hours of wild and sexy TELETUBBIE sex! You think they are not capable of sex? You think it not possible? Well somehow you are wrong! Yes how very wrong you are! Because I was there and I saw them in their sinful acts! Oh, the shame, the horror they must have felt the next morning.

I simply felt bad for the rabbits. Oh, such poor rabbits they were. So sad. This was a sad tale. It wasn't happy. Feel bad for the bunnies. The poor suffering bunnies. Yes, you must feel pity for them or else my story was a waste of finger muscles. Please pity them. Please?

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Im quite aware of the absolute stupidity of this piece but what do you expect of me at 7:40am after a night of no sleep and filled with Cherry Mountain Dew. Surely you didn't expect Shakespeare.