For this carnival ride called life's October 25th, 2011 prompt on the PROMPTS, PROMPTS, PROMPTS forum.
pairings: teddyocjamesii, jamesililyi, fleurbilltonks, ronhermione
prompts: fire, crash into me, hidden inside, story book romance
title: we all fall down
theme: not all fairytales have happy endings
category: romance/angst
we all fall down
James Sirius Potter was sure of very few things. He was sure that his dad was Harry Potter, The Chosen One. He was sure that he was a Grade A Gryffiindor, and that he was the best Quidditch captain Hogwarts had seen since Oliver Wood.
He was sure that he was a disappointment to his parents and he was sure that he would not be going through Auror, Healer, or Law training. He was sure that he was going to play for Puddlemere United and become the most famous person in Great Britain.
He was sure that in seven days he would be graduating from Hogwarts and he was sure that he hated weddings. He was sure that he hated stuffy ties and stiff dress robes, his mother, grandmother, and every other Weasley woman yelling at him all the time, and wearing shoes at any time.
Those things he was most sure of, and not much else. Except he was damn sure that he hated Teddy Lupin with more than a little passion.
"Chin up, James," his sister said, sliding into the chair next to him. He didn't even bother pretending to be happy. "Why aren't you helping?"
"Please. I'd set the tent on fire."
Lily frowned. "But you're brilliant at school." He shot her a look.
"Duh," he sneered, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. "I'd do it on purpose."
"Well aren't you in a foul mood? What's crawled up your arse?" Rose, his spit-fire cousin, gracefully lowered herself into the space opposite him. She had two spoons of frosting balanced in her hand, a bottle of something alcoholic covered in a paper bag in the other. She stuck one spoon in her mouth and offered the other to James. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh come on, you know you want it."
"Yeah, James," Lily giggled. "Eat a Snickers or something."
He bared his teeth at her and accepted the offering, then snatched the bottle out of Rose's hand. He took a healthy swig and spewed it all over the table. Rose had her wand and her eyebrow raised, and his spittle was suspended in the air. She flicked her wand sideways and the mess disappeared.
"That is disgusting," James coughed, licking at the frosting. He made a face and passed it off to Lily.
"What is it?" she asked excitedly, snagging the bottle and taking a sip. James made a sound of protest in this throat but didn't stop her. "Ooh, that's yummy."
"Cupcake flavored Vodka," Rose said cheerfully. "Goes nice with the frosting."
The two girls laughed some more, chatting animatedly as the Vodka continued to raise a healthy glow into their cheeks. While they seemed to get happier, James just felt more depressed.
"Jamie!" His cousin, Victoire, came tripping out of the house. "Jamie, you must come."
"Not now, Toire."
"Yes, now. Lora is asking for you. She insists that she must see you."
James grimaced. Why oh why did the world hate him?
He dragged himself to his feet but paused, shoving a finger in Lily's face.
"Don't you ever fall in love," he warned. "You either," he shot at Rose, taking the mostly-empty bottle out of their possession. He marched into the house, shoving the bottle at Victoire and leaving several confused looks in his wake.
"James." His mother appeared in the doorway in a lavender dress. She seemed impressed as she crossed the living room to him. "Oh honey, you look so handsome." He grimaced as she pulled on the lapel of his dress robes. "You clean up so nicely."
"Thanks, Mum."
"Where are you off to?"
He smiled gently and carefully pushed her away. "Just going to check on Teddy." He didn't feel bad about the lie.
"Of course, dear." Ginny Potter patted him on the shoulder and quickly moved around him to hold open the door for the pretty white cake that Grandmother Weasley was levitating out of the kitchen.
James ascended the stairs with purpose, ignoring Albus as he stumbled out of the bathroom and nearly knocking Dominique down the stairs on the third floor.
Outside of the room where Lora Starling was dressing for her big day, James took a shuddering breath and hesitated. What good could come of this? He was pretty sure none, but he knocked before he had thought it all the way through.
Lora threw the door open with an almighty bang and yanked James into the room by the front of his robes.
"Jamie," she sighed, leaning against his chest.
"Lora," he said stiffly. She smelled of rose water and her hair was up in curlers.
But when she pulled away, frowning, he realized that she wasn't wearing the white gown that she was supposed to be wearing.
"Lora, the wedding starts in half an hour."
She shook her head.
"No."
"What the hell do you mean 'no'?" He took her wrists firmly in his hands and pushed her away from him. He stalked across the room and stood next to the window, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic.
"I mean, I can't marry him, Jamie. I just…I can't. This," she gestured to herself, to the room around them. "Is not what I want."
"Since when?" James asked coldly. "Because a couple of weeks ago, you seemed pretty sure to me. You were absolutely positive six months ago, Lora. Please, tell me, what's changed?"
James was angry to see that she looked hurt.
"Why are you being so mean to me?" Big brown eyes stared at him and she crossed her pale arms in front of her chest. "I—I just—"
"No," James shook his head, his lip curling in his anger. "You don't get to be unsure. You can't just keep walking out on people."
"Is that what this is about?" Lora sighed, pulling at the silver locket hanging around her neck. It hurt him to know that it was the one he'd given her and that she couldn't care less about his feelings. "Jamie?"
"No," he lied smoothly, straightening the cuffs on his robes. "Never mind. It's none of my business."
"Jamie." Her voice was choked with tears. "Talk to me. I—I need you to talk to me." She crossed to him and stood close enough that he could count the freckles on her nose. But he didn't want to. So he looked away. "Please."
"Look," he said, spinning away from her reaching hands. "I gave you everything I had, alright?" He paced agitatedly across the crocheted rug. "I didn't expect you to crash into me so completely when we met, but you did. And you stole my heart and then you tore it to fucking pieces." He stopped and set her into his accusing stare. "And you didn't care a fucking bit."
"Jamie, that's not true."
"Isn't it, though?" He sneered down at the floor, angry at himself for feeling what he felt. For still loving her. "Because you took up with Teddy pretty damn quickly after me, and it seemed like I meant nothing to you."
"Of course you did," she said softly. "I never meant to hurt you. After a time, I just knew that you weren't…what I wanted."
"Yeah, no shit." It hurt just as bad as the first time to hear her say that. He knew that she didn't love him, but it was horrible hearing it all again.
She frowned.
"James," her voice was hesitant. "I know how bad this must appear to you, but I am trying to save Teddy from the heartbreak. I tried to save you too."
"By dumping me on my arse and then dating my godbrother? Did a fine thing, there, Lora."
"No, I thought…I thought that breaking things off with you before you fell too deeply for me would be better for you. I'm not good for you, Jamie. You deserve better."
He wished he could agree, but he knew that he couldn't. He had spent the better part of a year trying to hate her.
"And…I thought Teddy was right, but I realized today that he isn't."
"You realized today?"
"Well, I—"
He shook his head and headed for the door.
"Jamie, where are you going!?"
"You are screwed up," he said over his shoulder. "I can't take this shit anymore."
"No, Jamie, wait!"
He whirled around on her, his hackles raised.
"Stop using my name! Just stop it!"
She took a step back from him, her face melting into confusion, then understanding.
"You still love me," she whispered.
"No," James lied again. He hoped that if he said it enough it would come true.
"Jamie, I'm so sorry. I know how you must feel, but there is something…wrong…with me. I find it difficult to connect with people, and when that connection is gone, it doesn't just come back. I—what we had was wonderful, but my heart doesn't want you. And it doesn't want Teddy, either."
James bulked at her blatant rejection of him. She didn't sugarcoat a damn thing. He'd fallen in love with that, but now he just wished she would be a bit more merciful, if only to spare his heart.
"Whatever, Lora," James said painfully. He couldn't stand to hear this anymore. "Just a bit of advice. Next time you start a relationship with some helpless bloke, don't keep all this shit hidden inside you. Let him know that he's taking a big risk getting involved with you."
He pulled the door open and walked out without looking back. Fuck Lora. Fuck Lora and fuck Teddy, and fuck love. He was done.
"James." Teddy intercepted him on the landing. He looked utterly relieved to see him. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"
James wanted to say no. He wanted to keep hating Teddy for all he was worth, but he wouldn't wish the hurt that Lora would be delivering on anybody, least of all family.
So he allowed Teddy to chat about his fears and he saved the man from embarrassment by convincing him to take a few shots of Firewhiskey. At least, when Lora never came walking down the aisle, he wouldn't be too aware of what was going on.
Lily tugged him down into the seat between her and Scorpius Malfoy, who was discretely holding Rose's hand in his lap. He gave the Malfoy brat a hard stare, but didn't comment. There were going to be enough problems today.
When the music began, Teddy looked terrified at the front of the alter. James felt bad for him, but as his story-book romance fell apart that day, he couldn't help but feel they were both better off without Lora in their lives. He caught a glimpse of her heading out the gate with a small suitcase in her hand, but his heart hurt less than it had before he'd gone up into that room and learned that she was going to ruin another of his family members' lives.
And, as the disaster that ensued lit up the yard of the Burrow, James realized that not all fairytales come true. But, perhaps, the wishes that they were denied were only to better them, to bring them a peace of mind about events they didn't have control over. Neither he, Teddy, or Lora Starling got their happy ending that day, but at least James had the chance to start over. A clean slate. At least, that's what he hoped he had.
In the end, maybe James wasn't sure that he hated Teddy Lupin. But he was still sure that he hated weddings and that he wouldn't be having one. And maybe he wasn't sure that he was in love with Lora, but he was damned sure now that he had a real chance to get over her. And he was going to take it.
