Deep Affection
Day 5: Heartstrings
The hug, although it lasted no more than a few moments, stirred something within her. She liked the way he held her- firmly and softly. He didn't treat like a doll, yet with some strong respect for who she was and what she could do. She liked the way he spoke to her- like an equal. Aang may have done the same, but with Zuko, it was different. She guessed it was because Zuko was older, not a child and his earned respect was more valued.
During the intermission of the play, Aang had smiled at her. It shouldn't have bothered her, but the way he smiled – like she was the most perfect thing- had bugged her. She fought a grimace and instead looked down. She should have been delighted that the Avatar, of all people, liked her like that. Many other girls would have loved to be the object of his affection. Yet, she didn't like the way it made her feel uncomfortable, the way it felt like her son was coming onto her. She'd mothered him and supported him. It made her feel icky. If he considered her as an equal, it meant he considered her as naïve as him, or as childish as him.
It wasn't that she didn't like him as a person- he was a great friend. But that was it. It was all she felt for him. There was no passion, no crazy-in-love feeling that she got with him. She wondered if that ever truly happened for a girl or if they were myths.
"Aang….I'm just confused right now."
She left it at that.
She'd gotten closer to Zuko. After the whole ordeal with her mother's killer, they'd been closer than ever. They sat together at dinner and talked about the silliest things- if Sokka would grow a beard, if moon peaches easily fell out of trees or not, what kind of guy Toph would date.
There were small touches- a hand on the shoulder, a pat on the back, a playful punch to the shoulder, an occasional brushing of fingers. Each encounter made her blush and feel giddy. She'd never felt more alive. It was those touches that made her believe that all-encompassing love was possible- true love was possible. She admired his warm personality (something only available to close friends), and that he tried with everything that he was to be good.
When they'd gone to fight Azula, the near loss of Zuko had nearly stopped her heart. When she'd healed him, she had almost told him right then and there that she loved him. Instead she'd bent down and kissed him on the scarred cheek, pulling him close. He'd understood and leaned into her touch.
After Aang defeated Ozai, she knew she had to tell him. She was just so happy and she didn't want to be the one to damper the mood. She was happy at the world, happy with Aang, happy with Sokka, Toph, and Suki, happy with Zuko, happy with life. She was happy at the peace they'd managed to achieve.
When she found Aang standing alone outside, she'd merely meant to comfort him. But with his expectant smile and the twinkle in his eyes, she knew she couldn't break his heart. Not when he'd practically saved the world for her. He hugged her and when they pulled apart, she saw his slightly pursed lips and kissed him.
He deserved it. It was the least she could do. He'd defeated the worst man on Earth. He ws entitled to what his heart desired.
After they left Iroh's tea shop in Ba Sing Se, Aang, Katara and Zuko had gone to the Fire Nation to settle some things and help Zuko get the hang of things. Aang had spent nearly every moment with Zuko, so she could never just talk to Zuko alone. She wanted to explain what he'd seen at the tea shop. She knew he'd seen because when she and Aang had come back inside, Sokka had whistled and made smooching noises.
She was lucky one day. She'd been sitting in the library, practicing her calligraphy now that parchment was not as scarce as it was in the South Pole. He'd walked in and she looked up by instinct.
"Zuko!" she whisper-called.
His head whipped in her direction and she motioned him over to her. She stood made to hug him. His hug was warm, like sip of tea on a cold day, and it gave her slight goosebumps. She stepped back.
"Hey, I wanted to explain about the day at the tea-"
"Katara, please. Don't," he said, taking a step backwards.
"I need to. Just hear me out. Aang had just defeated the Fire Lord. He deserves everything and he has wanted to be with me ever since before the war. He's entitled to it, I mean, he saved the world. He deserves everything he wants. It's my duty to be with him."
"What about me, hmm? Don't I deserve it, too?"
"Yes. You do. But Aang, he' the Avatar and he has to deal with all three nations and he needs the support. He needs someone who loves him. Mai loves you, Zuko, and she'll be here with you."
"What do you feel for me, Katara?" he asked, stepping closer to her.
Her eyes moistened. "I love you, Zuko, but it doesn't matter, do you see? The hero gets the girl."
"Are you sure?" he asked, eyes narrowed.
"Yes," she swallowed.
He pressed his lips to hers then, pulling her close bu the waist so that they were flush against each other and running his tongue against her top lip. He pulled away.
"Are you still sure he could make you as happy as I could?"
She looked down, eyes pooling with tears and spilling. "Yes," she whispered, "I'll learn to love him."
He stepped away from her then, raking his hands through his hair. "Okay," he murmured as quietly as he could and turned and left.
She was left there, silently weeping with her hands covering her face, shoulders shaking.
A bit sad, but true to the plot. She did learn to love him (In my zutarian opinion).
Sam
