I've decided to write a little OCxDtK to test my skills. I've read most DtK stories, and I've analyzed the basics of a Soul Eater Mary-Sue :)
-Has a typical name (such as hikari, hikaru, hotaru)
-has a DARK DARK PAST
-is a meister
-her weapon is an older boy
-usually that boy is an overprotective brother-type
-has an INTENCE love for music
-"unsymmetical hair"
-sometimes related to soul
I've chosen one of my existing characters (from my book) and popped her in :D
that is all.
[EDIT: JULY 20TH, 2013: This story sucks, yea, but it gets better, I promise.]
[EDIT: SEPT. 15TH, 2014: This story is a trainwreck, read AN in chapter 11, I am going to rewrite everything starting today. Original AN will not be bold(NOTE: If you have Google Chrome, you will not be able to see the bold text.). Do not read this story until this warning is gone. Otherwise, you're in for a lot of changes and plotholes.]
[EDIT: DECEMBER 30TH, 2014: DONE EDITING. READ ON.]
The sun shone down hard outside, I almost felt bad for anyone crazy enough to be out and about in such hot weather. There was the exception of children, of course, considering that they would never let anything get in their way of having fun; I wish I could say I remember being like that, but it would be a lie. Most of my childhood was filled with doctor's visits and licking switch lights. Disgusting and personal, but that was the whole truth of it.
I do remember, however, opening the bakery by myself for the first time that one spring day.
I had been staying with my best friend since childhood, Lucia, and her twin sister Carla, since the month before for personal reasons. Their family had owned a bakery in their hometown of Brasilia for many years, and soon after their twenty-first birthday, they thought it a good idea to open one in the States. I couldn't say much for the city they picked though. I didn't remember hearing about it anywhere, and considering the particular things I've seen since moving there, it came as a surprise.
Starting with that damn sun.
I had tried to bring the natives' attention to its bizarre appearance, but they only looked at me oddly; as if they believed that was the way the sun should have looked like. I let it go eventually, considering the series of events that had lead me to my moving here, and also considering the events that would prevail on and after this day.
But I'm stalling now.
I opened up the bakery on my own for the first time. It had been two weeks since it's grand opening, and thus far, we had no regular customers aside from some gross teenage boys coming in to flirt with Carla or Lucia. Therefore the later two were currently out hanging flyers in places like the library and the community center...I think they said there was a sort of boarding school here? Surely a good pocket of those teens would wander to our humble business in search of munchies.
Leaning on the counter, I bit into a biscotti, watching the day go by and the clock tick on.
I began to choke.
Attempting to remain calm failed as my mind immediately went to a dark place. They would find my body, blue and purple and bloated. Ugly. The room a mess because I flailed. My clothes torn in desperation.
I hadn't noticed that someone had come through the door until I felt arms around me, pressing down on my diaphragm. Before I knew it, the bit of biscotti that had lodged itself in my throat shot out, and I could breathe again.
Taking deep gulps of precious air, I rested my hands on my knees, thanking whatever God or Gods that were watching me.
"Are you alright, Miss?"
"Mmhmm." I nodded, my back still turned away from my saviour. Feeling embarrassed that my first customer had ended up saving my life, I mentally slapped myself. Told myself to pull myself together.
I stood up straight and patted my clothing for wrinkles before fixing my hair, making sure not one strand was out of place. When I turned I smiled, as practiced, and inclined my head.
"Hello," My voice sounded just the slightest bit hoarse," Thank you so much for saving me, I'm sorry to put you through the trouble. How may I help you?"
It was a boy, a bit baby-faced, but probably about my age, take away a year or two. He seemed well kept and tidy, which is something I found admirable in a person, and (like myself on that day) he was wearing two of the same ring on the opposite finger. What I remember the most were his eyes: a golden yellow. I thought they were color contacts at first.
However, before long, my smile faded at the sight of his hair.
I twitched.
It was…awful. Never before had I been bothered by somebody's hair style. I had to control myself, this was the boy who saved my life! How could I have been so shallow as to focus on such a simple and ridiculous detail? Had my condition really began to affect my judgement on people? I had almost hanged my head in shame when I realised that the room had been silent for a long time. Fuck. Had I made him uncomfortable? Had he noticed my staring? Did my face reflect my disgust with his hair?
Braving the atmosphere in the room, I cleared my throat, "...Sir?"
"…Symmetical…" He murmured the word, more to himself than to me.
"Um, pardon?" Perhaps I had heard wrong.
"You're…you're perfectly symmetrical…"
"OH." I didn't know how to take this at the time. A part of me was happy, because being clean kept was something I strove for. Another part of me, a much less sad part, was worried at the boy's mental condition. Who comments on such a thing after having saved the other person from choking?
"She…even speaks in perfect symmetry." He fell to his hands and knees, seemingly unable to stand upright anymore. He very much resembled a pile of goo or pudding.
"Uh, Sir, are you alright? Should I call somebody?"
He mumbled something inaudible.
And then, that's when the situation got truly uncomfortable.
"Umm…Sir?"
"...Yes?"
"…Could you let go of my leg?"
hmm…it could have been better :| But I like how it went :)
comments and reviews! :D
Yeah I kept the leg bit, that bit was fucking gold.
