I DO NOT OWN SOUTH PARK

Who needs sleep when you have Stolovan? Warning; Fluffgasm ahead.

Italicized text is Chinese


Clyde just didn't understand some things. That was partly okay, however, because Clyde was something of an idiot. He didn't understand math, or reading, or social studies. But frustratingly most of all, he didn't understand Kevin Stoley. That's right; the half-Asian kid who had a fascination with any space-related action sagas with the word 'Star' in it.

Clyde and Kevin were somewhat friends, in the way that they'd share a cordial nod in the halls or chat idly in the lunchroom. Clyde liked a lot about Kevin, though, despite not interacting much. He liked how he did his hair, how he wrote his name, hell, Clyde liked how he cracked his knuckles. But out of all of these, Clyde's favorite thing was that Kevin was bilingual. Out of the blue, Kevin would add a little bit of Chinese to his speech, usually after a fair bit of English.

He'd be talking about something he did that night and then he'd look at Clyde and go, "Xiwang ni zai nali, ai." He said that phrase rather often, alongside his other common phrase; "Wo ai ni." Clyde had asked him several times to explain what they mean, but Kevin had just blushed a little and muttered some more broken Chinese under his breath. Clyde wasn't sure he got all of it, but it was something like, "Shuanming shi zui'e, ai".

It annoyed Clyde to no end. So he was naturally elated when the schools had made Chinese a language that the student body could take. Clyde had signed up, and he was prepared to do whatever it took to understand what Kevin was talking about. And he was doing favorably well. Despite Chinese being a difficult language to pick up, he had quickly become one of the best in his class. It was a first, and something that Clyde was proud of. He hadn't yet told Kevin, but he would.

Now, three years later, he could finally understand what in god's name Kevin was coding. He was sitting at his lunch table, tearing his baloney sandwich apart. Kevin sat next to him, talking idly.

"So, I was waiting for this premier for this movie, and people were dressing up as the characters. It was awesome. I wish you were there, love." Clyde looked up. He could see the innocent smile on Kev's face, and he understood the words perfectly. Was that what Kevin was saying to him all that time?

"Er- what didja say?" Clyde feigned ignorance, watching an amused, knowing grin creep up onto Kevin's face.

"Telling would be a sin, love," Kevin said softly, enjoying the look of bewilderment on Clyde's face.

"Why?" Clyde asked, before he could process, in Chinese right back. Kevin looked at him in shock, eyes wide and his face stricken.

"You understand me?" He spluttered out, face a cherry red.

"Yeah. How long have you been calling me that?" Clyde asked, cocking his head curiously. He, for some reason, had found that little anecdote something of endearing. Cute, almost.

"Long as I can remember... Oh god, you probably think I'm some creep now..." Kevin trailed off, biting his lip and feeling his stomach lurch. He had something of an obsessive crush over the brunette, but he liked his loves unrequited, thank you. They were so much easier to manage that way.

"Nah. You're cool." Clyde laughed. "Feels kind of gratifying to have a stalker."

"I'm not a stalker!" Kevin yelped, so loudly that he had captured the whole lunch room's attention. He was a fairly quiet kid, and some of the student body in his classes didn't even know he could physically speak. Kevin sat down in embarrassment, face so red, he felt sick.

"Okay, okay," Clyde snickered. "Calm yourself. Besides, it's actually kind of cute." He said that last bit in Chinese, unable to stop grinning the whole way through. Kevin lifted his head and stared at Clyde, not sure if it was a joke, or sincere.

"R-really?" Kevin asked incredulously.

"Uh-huh. You're a big cutie is what you are." Kevin blushed madly and nervously placed a shaking hand over Clyde's. he winced, as if anticipating the look of disgust on Clyde's face. But it never Came. Clyde just smiled along and ate his food.

Now, two years later and Clyde and Kevin don't have to hide what they say to each other. Sometimes, though, they hide it away from the rest of the world. It's their own little world they can hide in and say whatever they like. It sort of feels like they're those foreign manicurists, speaking crap about their costumers. Clyde likes to go to the spa and listen in on what they say, anyways. It's a fabulous way to pick up new words.

Their favorite activity to do is to see who can get the other more hot and bothered in public situations. Clyde usually wins, but sometimes Kevin gets the upper hand. Today is one of those days. They sit in a quiet doctor's waiting room, as Clyde has to get his yearly vaccinations. Flu shots and such; things that he can't stand. He nervously rocks back and forth on his chair, biting his lip. Kevin smiles, placing his hand on the larger boy's thigh to calm him down.

"You look nice today," he compliments innocently, as how most of the games start. Clyde huffs and leans back, grinning a little bit.

"So do you," Clyde murmurs in Chinese, loving the looks of curiosity he's earning from the other people in the waiting room. An elderly lady who was previously checking a magazine raises her eyebrow. "Lose some weight?"

Kevin flushes a little and Clyde laughs. It takes so little to get the boy to blush. He wonders vaguely if Kevin has any self-esteem issues. Probably not. If he did, he would say so.

"N-no," Kevin fumbles, trying to regain his composure. Before he can speak, Clyde butts in again.

"Good. Because you're a hot piece of ass the way you are." Kevin's face goes to the deepest scarlet, and he gently punches Clyde. The hand on Clyde's thigh squeezes gently.

"Bastard," Kevin snorts. Once Clyde is on a tangent, though, he doesn't stop. Not until his opponent is under him, begging for mercy. He's sort of competitive, you could say.

"Mmm... What I'd do to you if we weren't in public..." Clyde grins deviously, waiting dramatically. "I'd pin you down right now and attack you. Mmm... I'd trail my fingers down you chest and to your waistline. And then I'd wait for you to beg for it... Beg."

Kevin shivers profusely and nervously smiles back.

"And then I'd-" Clyde was cut off.

"Enough! I have heard enough! You young men should be ashamed of yourselves." The elderly lady stands up and smacks Clyde over the ears. "Chiru, Chiru, Chiru (shame, shame, shame!)!"

Kevin blushes even more, smashing his face into the shirt of the boy besides him. It was nothing short of embarrassing knowing that the lady was listening in and understanding them.

"Sorry," Clyde tried to stifle a snicker. He leaned over to Kevin and smiled. "You really are adorable, though," he said, placing his hands over Kevin's and smiling. "Wo ai ni, (I love you)."

Kevin huffed, albeit grinning widely. "Wo ai ni."