By Tralla
Contains: mentioned R+2
Duo stood on the sidewalk of a suburban street, a suburban street he assumed he'd spend the rest of his life on. He sighed. That's what marriage meant: a lifetime with commitment to a person of your choosing. Except it wasn't really his choosing. He turned around and faced a yellow house with a white picket fence, his new home. The "for sale sign" with the huge red tag over it that said "sold" was still up in the front yard. He just stood there in a sort of sulky fashion. He'd been sent to the store to pick up groceries for that night's dinner…a dinner he'd end up cooking…since Relena couldn't cook for beans. Duo rolled his eyes. He wasn't that good of a cook either…but at least he was capable of boiling water, unlike his klutzy wife. Wife…Duo sighed again and shook his head. Wife…they were married…newlyweds, in fact. Duo looked at the pavement and kicked a pebble aside. How had she managed that?
He was interrupted from the usual considering of his plight by a troop of storming feet. He swiftly turned to the increasingly loud noise. In the distance, he spied a group of young men jogging in unison. The men were dressed in varying sportswear. Some had headbands and walkmans, gym shorts, tanks… They were on Duo's side of the sidewalk and fast approaching. Duo backed out of their path as they trooped past him in a swarm of sweaty, fit bodies with youthful glowing faces. He was overtaken by the scent of near spent male bodies as he was almost pressed against the white picket fence. Geez, how many of these guys were there? The line of jogging men seemed endless. Duo snorted. He wasn't going to just wait for this troop of sports fanatics to storm past. He was only 10 feet from his car, which was parked in the driveway. He turned to edge his way along the fence. All he had to do was ease past—
A male body slammed into Duo from behind. "Watch it!" griped the owner of the hard body.
Duo tensed at the pissy tone the man's voice took, but he managed to say, "Geez, I'm sorry--" He turned around to face a man of equal height. But that was where their similarities ended. Duo took a step back against the picket fence. The storm of men had passed and he was only left this seriously aggravated one.
The man stared back at him with dark, penetrating eyes. He was heaving from the exertion of running. His cheeks were red and streams of sweat wet his frame. A particularly well-built chest was barely sheathed by a navy tank and the man wore an embarrassingly short pair of white gym shorts. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before fixing Duo with a rather intense stare. "You're new here," he asked without the neighborly intonation that should been instinctive.
"Yes…" Duo answered. Unconsciously his hand moved over the bulge in his pocket, his car keys.
The man snorted before sticking out a hand. "I'm Chang Wufei. Welcome to Greenwood."
After a moment of hesitation, Duo took the hand and shook it. "I'm Duo Maxwell. I just moved in yesterday."
Wufei's hand briefly tightened its grip around Duo's hand. "You're married?"
Duo followed the direction of Wufei's gaze: his free hand. The gaze took in the rather shiny gold band on his left ring finger.
Duo supplied the confirmation. "Yes, married as of two weeks yesterday. We just came back from our honeymoon in Honolulu."
"Hawaii. That's appropriate. A lot of things are legal there." Wufei released Duo's hand.
Duo eyed him carefully. The other man was smirking at him…well, if one could consider that rather vulgar twist of lips smirking…
"What a shame," Wufei murmured without a change in expression.
"What's a shame?" Duo took a step back. Wufei was eyeing him in a particularly assessing way.
The Asian man tilted his head to the side. "It's nothing." He made a gesture to Duo's yellow house. "It's good to have new neighbors. You'll probably have a flood of visitors later this afternoon since most of the neighborhood has just seen you."
Duo couldn't help but appear confused. "Most of the neighborhood? Those guys…they all live here?"
There came a nod from Wufei. "In fact, that's pretty much everyone."
"…There aren't any women?"
"Oh, there are those that qualify as women…"
"What--"
"Well, I'm running behind." Wufei darted a glance at his sports watch. "I'll drop by later. That way, I can pretend to be sociable by badmouthing our neighbors." He jogged off before Duo could make a comment.
"…" Duo looked away from Wufei's rather pert, barely-covered rear. "…" Jesus, what kind of neighborhood was this? No women…scads of jogging males… Duo reached into his pocket for his car keys and pressed a button to shut the car alarm off. There was a bizarre trio of bleeps that confirmed the successful disarming of the car. Duo held the keys and peered around at the neighborhood. He shook his head and then headed for the car.
~* ~ * ~*~* ~ * ~*~* ~ * ~*~* ~ * ~*~* ~ * ~*~* ~ * ~*
"Honey, did you remember to pick up a head of lettuce?"
Duo barely managed a look at his wife. He held three paper shopping bags full of groceries pressed to his chest. His chin kept the top of the center bag against his chest; his chin was the only thing preventing the center bag from sliding out of his hold. Duo made a face and muttered, "Relena…"
"Oh, silly me," she laughed before moving towards him in succession of short prances. She yanked the center bag from under his chin…consequently causing the other two to fall from his grasp. The bags hit the floor, one with the sound of breaking glass the other with a wet smack. Duo closed his eyes and sighed.
Relena blinked back at him while clutching the shopping bag she'd wrested from under his chin.
Duo brought a hand to his head and rubbed his temple. He murmured, "I'm assuming you just broke the bottle of olive oil and smashed the eggs…"
"…" Relena continued to stare at the muddle at her feet.
"Perhaps, you should grab something to help me clean up this mess."
"Yes…I should," murmured Relena as she backed away and headed for the kitchen.
Duo dropped to his knees and began removing the intact but now contaminated items from the bags. Somehow, he managed not to cut himself on the broken glass. He sighed. Whether or not he bought lettuce seemed unimportant. No olive oil meant they couldn't make salad dressing. A towel suddenly appeared in Duo's line of vision. He looked up at the hand that presented it, a smooth looking hand, a hand that hadn't seen a day of housework. He took the towel from Relena and began swabbing at the sodden mass of brown paper, oil, and eggs. He'd successfully separated the glass and eggshells in the time Relena had taken to fetch a towel.
"Duo, I'm really sorry…"
He didn't bother looking up. "Yeah, I know…it's ok. It's not as big a mess as yesterday's…"
"Duo…"
Duo stopped his swabbing to look up at Relena. "Yes?"
"Brother said he was planning to stop by sometime in the afternoon."
Duo made a sound that was on the lines of a scoff before letting the towel fall from his grasp. "Jesus, we just moved in yesterday. What does he want now?"
"Duo…really. He's just checking up on us."
There came a snort from Duo. "So, that's what he's calling it. We're still unpacking. I don't want to have to listen to him mouthing off about the state of the house, or my job, or about the kind of life I'm providing for you…"
"Duo…"
Duo fixed Relena with a stern look. "I've put up with him for years. OK? We're married. I didn't take vows to get henpecked by him."
Relena sighed before smiling. "You're getting worked up over nothing." She bent down to place a kiss on the top of his head. "Brother means well. You two just need to get to know each other better."
Duo snorted. "Yeah…six years just isn't enough…" There was another noise of disgust from him before he turned back to the mess on the floor.
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A rather confused Duo opened the door to his house. It was the fifth time the bell had rung in the last 20 minutes. The door opened to reveal two sleekly dressed males. One carried some kind of baked good while the other one held a jell-o mold. Upon seeing Duo, the two stretched out the gifts in offering before saying in a cheery lilt, "Welcome to Greenwood!"
"…" Duo blinked back at them before taking the rather unstable looking jell-o mold in hand. It wobbled perilously as he took a step backwards to allow the neighborly pair into the house. "Thanks…for the mold…and the…the…" Duo stared at the brown cylinder-like thing in one of the guys' hands.
The man who held the curious looking gift chuckled at Duo's befuddled expression before saying, "It's an almond loaf. It's from a recipe I've been playing around with. This seemed like the perfect occasion to try it out."
Duo glanced down at the "experimental" loaf.
The man who'd handed Duo the jello-mold snorted before saying, "Ivan thinks he's going to be the next Wolfgang Puck. He'll try anything."
Ivan appeared a bit miffed. "Well, James, you can't exactly call boiling water and pouring it over a sugary mass of powder cooking, can you?"
James faced Ivan. "Hey, a lot effort went into that jell-o mold--"
Duo laughed nervously. "Hey, guys, why don't you step into the living room and join everyone else?"
Both men looked at Duo before following his suggestion.
"We're still unpacking so there are boxes everywhere," murmured Duo as he led them to the living room.
The sound of conversing male voices nearly drowned out Duo's comment. He barely glanced at the room full of men before placing the jell-o mold on a table that was already brimming with food supplied by his neighbors. James and Ivan walked past him and joined the crush of jabbering men. Duo shook his head as he took in the smorgasbord before him. He'd wasted his time going to the grocery store. He and Relena now had enough food to last them a week.
The doorbell rang again. A disgusted sigh slipped past Duo's lips as he went to the door…again. What was this? The sixth, no, seventh time?
With his annoyance showing, Duo tramped to the door. He didn't even bother looking through the peephole. He yanked the door open and planned to greet his next neighbor with as irked an expression as he could muster. Maybe that would stop this never-ending train of men from arriving at his abode. The irked expression didn't quite manage to sit on Duo's face as he realized who was on his doorstep. Duo's face went blank. It was that guy who ran into him earlier…what was his name?
"I'm Wufei," supplied the Asian man. "That vapid expression on your face tells me you've forgotten." Without waiting for an invitation, Wufei walked past Duo and into the other man's house.
Duo shook his head and left his front door open while following Wufei into the living room. He hoped his other neighbors just would just take the hint and walk into the house so he could stop playing doorman.
"What do you think of your neighbors so far," asked Wufei as he faced Duo.
Duo frowned. He could barely hear Wufei over the hodgepodge of chattering male voices. "I assume there's a particular answer you want to hear."
"Not in the least. You're a newbie. It would be interesting to hear your take on Greenwood."
Duo shrugged. "I just got here. There's not much I can say." Duo paused for a moment. "The town has a nice grocery store…"
Wufei crossed his arms over his chest. "So, you do the shopping. What does your spouse do?"
Duo squinted at him. Why was Wufei smirking at him? "What's so funny?"
"It's rare to meet a fully domesticated couple in Greenwood. I just find it fascinating…"
Duo tried not to let his irritation show. "And?"
"Laughable."
"…"
"Don't take offense. It's good that you're unique. I get bored easily."
Duo could only stare at Wufei. Who was this guy and what was his problem? Duo eyed Wufei suspiciously. He watched as the Chinese man's face suddenly changed expression. A most rapt expression marked him. With a great amount of relief, Duo realized that Wufei wasn't looking back at him but was staring somewhere behind him. Before Duo could follow Wufei's gaze, he heard the Chinese man murmur in a warm, awe-stricken tone, "Who is that in the doorway?"
Duo turned around and made a face at the tall blond man who'd just entered the room. He turned back to Wufei and with the same expression of disgust and said, "That's Milliardo," Duo made another face, "my brother-in-law."
Wufei's mouth hung open. "Your…brother-in-law…Gods, what does your spouse look like?" Wufei's mouth continued to hang open as his eyes chased Milliardo's form.
Duo snorted. "They look nothing alike. Thank God."
Wufei's curiosity was peaked by the offhand comment. His gaze finally returned to Duo. His voice was low as he said, "So, when do I get to meet your spouse who looks nothing like your brother-in-law?"
"…"
At that moment, right on cue, Relena walked into the room. Duo gestured for her to come over. After noticing the come-hither hand motion, she strolled over to join him.
Duo sighed before making a motion to introduce. "Wufei, this is my wife, Relena. Relena, this is Wufei. He's one of our neighbors."
Wufei turned purple as Relena smiled and took his hand. He couldn't hide his surprise as he choked out, "Your wife?"
"Nice to meet you, Wufei. You'll have to excuse me. I was about to show Milliardo our patio."
"…" Wufei took his hand back and watched her go. He managed to close his mouth, but then he opened it to ask, "You moved to Greenwood with her? You're married to… her?"
Duo narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, do you have a problem with that?" His tone was threatening.
Wufei regained his composure. "No…not particularly. It's just rather unusual…"
"Unusual? You're not making any sense…"
"Perhaps, 'unexpected' is a better word for it…" Wufei fixed Duo with a questioning gaze. "What made you come to Greenwood, of all places?"
"Well, Relena and I were having a hell of a time finding a house on my salary. So I asked Relena's friend Dorothy to help us out. Her family works in real estate and she ended up calling in a few favors for us." Duo raised an arm and gestured to the house. "And here's the result."
"…" Wufei swallowed. "So you're saying that you knew nothing about Greenwood before coming here…"
Duo shrugged. "Basically."
"You're saying that this woman picked out this neighborhood and this house and you just went along with her choice?"
"Well, yes. The price fell within our bracket and she sent us pictures to help us with the decision… The funny thing is…we were pleasantly surprised when we arrived yesterday. The pictures just don't do this place justice---"
Wufei cleared his throat. "I suppose I'm going to have to be the one to tell you this. Greenwood is a very unique suburb."
"Yeah, you got that right. I've never seen a friendlier neighborhood." Duo's comment was said in both a slightly amazed and unnerved tone. The mass of male voices had been a backdrop to his entire conversation with Wufei.
"I meant 'unique' in another way, entirely. Greenwood is an experiment."
"Experiment?"
"Yes." Wufei's gaze was unwavering as he said, "Greenwood is the first all homosexual suburb."
".."
Wufei snorted. "At least, it was anyway. We've got two nonconformists in our midst."
Stunned, Duo could only choke out, "Nonconformists?"
There was a twist of Wufei's lips. "Yes, you and your wife."
