Hello! Welcome to my story. None of this will make much sense to you, it is just an excerpt from a much longer story that is largely incomplete. I am just posting this here for my own purposes. If there is any interest, I am likely to provide a back story for you. Enjoy!


It was a fairly ordinary evening. It was late summer, two weeks before Severus was to return to his teaching post. They were at their summer cottage, nestled in the lush forests of Scotland. Harry had returned early from the day's practice which Ella had learnt went well. Severus had conjured them a delicious dinner and afterwards they had retired to the study as they usually did. Severus was at his desk preparing this semester's curriculum- no doubt trying as hard as he could to stay within the Department of Magical Education's guidelines whilst making it near impossible for his student's to pass, Ella thought with a grin- while her and Harry were lounging on the couch, Harry's attention on her yet-to-be-swollen belly.

It should have been a perfect evening, but her thoughts had darkened since learning she was pregnant. Her husbands assumed it was hormones, but she had a secret that she had always meant to tell them, but it just hadn't ever seemed the right moment… she had put it off for too long and knew tonight was the night. Her plan was to do it at breakfast that morning, but Harry had been positively beaming at her every time they made eye contact over the table, and Severus seemed to be scowling a lot less frequently. Then Harry had gone and started discussing whether or not they should find out the gender before it was born, which turned into a friendly debate between him and Severus. Then she tried to do it at dinner, but Severus wanted to discuss remodeling their cottage to make an extra bedroom for the baby, and Harry decided their quarters in the dungeons at Hogwarts just wouldn't do for raising children.

She wasn't sure they would want the baby after they learned her secret, but she didn't have the heart to deny their good moods. The talks had just made her feel guiltier about what she was keeping from them. When asked why she was so quiet, she claimed she was nauseous, which wasn't exactly a lie, it was just more due to her inner turmoil than morning sickness.

She felt that same nausea now, her dinner threatening to show itself again. Her stomach felt like it was floating and her heart was racing. She swallowed her anxiety and took a deep breath, she was in a room with the two bravest wizards of their time, it wouldn't do to be a coward now.

"There's something you should know… before you- we decide to keep this child," Ella said quietly, shattering the peaceful moment. She had thought she had control of her voice, but it came out unsteady. She gently extricated herself from Harry's lap and placed herself in Severus' old brown leather armchair, ignoring both the cold feeling this left her and the shocked, forlorn look on Harry's face.

Severus was quiet, face impassive. The only indication he was listening was that his gaze no longer resided on the papers on his desk, but on her delicate face.

Harry tried for a reassuring smile, but failed, "I can't imagine why we wouldn't? I mean if it's money you're worried about... I have enough that none of us would ever have to work in the Potter vault alone... that's not including the Black family inheritance."

"Or the Snape's," Severus added quietly.

"Unless you don't want to have children?" Harry asked nervously, "We've never really talked about it..."

Ella looked at him as if he'd grown a second head, "Of course I want kids!"

Severus raised his eyebrows at her, "With us? A former Death Eater and the Saviour of the Wizarding World. The children will have a bit of a reputation preceding them. I would understand if it's a question of heritage." Severus's best kept secret was that he was actually quite insecure, though he'd never admit it.

"Of course not! You know none of that matters to me! I want nothing more than to bear children to the two bravest and most powerful wizards alive. But it is a question of heritage..." Ella replied, outraged Severus would once again bring up their press-inflicted titles, "My heritage."

"You were orphaned and raised by muggles, like me. Why would your heritage even matter?" Harry asked, confused.

Severus, possessing an incomparable ability to read people, was a bit more concerned with another matter, "You know your biological parents? Why haven't you mentioned it before?"

Ella stared at her hands, fidgeting in her lap, and mumbled, "You never needed to know. Until now."

"Are you carrying a gene for a crippling, degenerative disease?" Severus asked.

"No," Ella blinked in surprise, "Of course not."

"Are you related to one of us?" Harry asked in horror.

"Merlin, no!" Ella replied quickly, "I would have told you that before we- you know."

"Procreated?" Severus offered.

"Yes," Ella blushed, glaring at him. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, swallowing more anxiety, "I just think you might not be able to love a child knowing who it's grandparents are."

"You have failed to mention this before, Miss Parker, because you felt it would change how we feel about you?" Severus asked. It wasn't often Severus called her by her first name, and she didn't usually mind, but right now 'Miss Parker' made the knot in her stomach a little bit tighter.

She nodded, not making eye contact with either of them. At least she hadn't had to say it herself, it sounded stupid to hear it from his mouth but it was how she felt. Harry was instantly on his knees by her side, one hand placed lovingly on her still concave belly, "If you think anything could change how much we love you, you don't know us very well, Ella."

"Miss Parker, I've some pretty terrible and unforgivable things in my lifetime. If Harry can manage to love me, and my ugly, cynical disposition, I don't think there's anything you could even fabricate to change his feelings for you. As for me, I'm pretty sure you two cretins are the only people in the world who will have me, so there's no chance I'll change my mind," Severus said dryly.

"Wait until you hear my story until you make any sort of promises," she said, her gaze softening sadly as she ran a hand over Harry's messy black hair.

"Spit it out then," Severus said, gaze fixed on her face.

"I'm going to beat around the bush for a few minute. It's hard for me to say this, so bear with me, please? I have to tell the whole story because I've never done it before," she whispered. Harry closed his eyes and settled himself more comfortably between her legs on the floor. His rested his head against her thigh and stroked an encouraging hand over the back of her calf. She lifted her eyes to focus them on Severus' deep black orbs.

"My mother was a Death Eater," Ella stated. Harry's hand froze for a moment before continuing. Ella could see the wheels turning in Severus' head. He would probably know who it was before she was finished telling her story.

"She became pregnant with me the summer before her seventh year at Hogwarts. She returned to school before she found out... and remained there until it became impossible to hide. She didn't know what else to do. She was in hiding until she went into labor. Or at least I figure she did because nobody recalls seeing or hearing from her for 5 months until she showed up at St. Mungo's in April of 1980.

"My father was the last person in the world you would expect her to be with. But these things happen when you're young and full of raging hormones, I suppose. You've heard of him... his name is Ludovic Bagman."

"Bagman?!" Harry's eyes bugged out.

"Bagman?" Severus' tone was as disbelieving as it ever got.

"Bagman," she confirmed, "I only found out a few years ago because the Ministry requires a background check on all Aurors. They had to use a Paternatus spell on me because they could find no records. Apparently my mother had failed to provide any details at all for my birth certificate. So two ministry officials, my mother and myself are the only people in the world who know, except you now. I requested they not say anything, due to the fact I was to be in contact with Bagman on a regular basis."

"Bagman doesn't know?" Harry asked.

"I don't think so. I've never told him. He's not the kind of person that would leave it alone if he knew... he would have approached me. Apparently my mother, nor the officials cared enough to tell him. I suppose I don't either. Barry Parker is plenty good enough for me. Rosaline too, for that matter."

"So the Parker's named you then?" Harry asked.

"Yes and no. They gave me Marie and Parker. The way the nurse told it to the Parker's is that after I was born and cleaned they handed me to my mother, as is customary. She looked loving and proud, if a bit young and alone. They left her with me until morning and when they returned she was gone. I was in the bed alone with a note that said 'Her name is Ella'. And it had an address. The nurses kept me for a few days, determining she wouldn't come back one volunteered to take me to the address as I couldn't stay there forever. It was the Parker's house. They are very distantly related to my mother, coming from a stem generations back of squibs that were disowned. Even though they were muggles, they knew of the wizarding world and knew I was a witch, but they took me in anyway. And kept my first name. They never lied to me about what they knew. Told me as soon as I was old enough to understand. It wasn't until I entered Beauxbatons that I realized the reputation my mother had."

Severus raised his eyebrows again, his morbid curiosity piqued, "Are you going to keep avoiding it or are you actually going to tell us?"

"Yes. It won't be pleasant for either of you. In fact if you two were anyone else I probably would have told you long ago. I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet, Severus. I resemble her rather a lot. My father's colouring... but my mother's eyes..."

Severus face showed rare emotion. A mixture of recognition, confusion and denial. Harry looked wildly between them.

She took a deep breath and braced herself for the inevitable disgust, "Bellatrix Black did not leave Hogwarts in her seventh year to join the dark lord. She left because she was pregnant."

"Bell... Bellatrix... Black. As in Bellatrix...Lestrange?" Harry pushed away from her to look at her face, "Merlin's beard! Your eyes!"

Severus was nodding wildly as if confirming something maddening to himself.

"Sirius..." Harry murmered.

"Narcissa... Draco..." Severus agreed.

"Yes. You would think of that, wouldn't you?" she admitted reluctantly, "I suppose I am related to all of them."

And suddenly Harry was laughing. Ella gave him a questioning look, "Well, being that you're a Black... I reckon that vault of mine really belongs to you!"

"Following that logic, Mr. Potter, would mean it could also belong to Draco Malfoy," Severus scolded.

"That's twice you've brought him up now, Severus. Is there something we should know about?" Harry said, downright belligerently, scowling at him.

"Oh, come off it you two! Severus there was no mature reason to say that and Harry you know better than to take his bait. Now Sirius left that inheritance you... I'm sure he would have regardless..." she argued.

"And he would have kicked my arse if I didn't share it with the love of my life. So you'll get it anyway," he said firmly.

"You're taking this awfully well," she said suspiciously. This wasn't how she saw the conversation ending. She wasn't sure what she had expected, maybe shouting, or maybe no words at all.

"You're no different now than before you told us," Severus pointed out.

"But the things she took from you Harry..." She reminded him, "And the things you must have seen her do, Severus."

"Instead of hating you, Ella, I find myself liking her more. She took something irreplaceable from me... but she has given me so much more. She has given me you and you're giving me a child."

Severus was suddenly sitting on the arm of the chair, arm around her shoulders, large nose buried in her silky blond hair. In an extremely rare display of affection he murmured in her ear, "I love you, Ella."

"You still want the baby then?" she asked, feeling quite weak with Severus behaving as he was.

"Yes!" and "Of course!" were the incredulous replies she received and she smiled widely.

Harry picked up one of her fidgeting hands on rested his lips against the back of it.

"You do look a lot like her... I'm surprised I never noticed it before," Severus admitted quietly.

"You're prettier though," Harry added, "And friendlier looking."

Ella giggled a little erratically, she had been so worked up about telling them this and all the relief rushing through her was making her giddy, "Has to do with the lifestyle, I think. My name really should have clued you in, Severus… honestly for someone who spent nearly 20 years as a spy..." she teased.

"Ah, but love is blind," he reminded.

"What would you have done if we had said we didn't want the child?" Harry suddenly asked, playing with her fingers.

"You wouldn't have gotten rid of it, sentimental little air head that you are," Severus said, indicating his curiosity, in his usual loving way.

"I probably would have left. Gone somewhere far away to raise it alone, where you could never find me," she replied honestly, "It would have killed me to leave you two, but I would have had your child and that would have to be enough. A little bit of you..."

"But you knew we would keep it and you?" Harry said, occasionally showing he was more perceptive than he let on.

"Somewhere, deep down... I knew you would accept it. But I didn't think it would be this simple," she admitted.

"I'll be honest, it is a little disconcerting and it does bother me... every time I look at you for a while I will see her... but it will pass," Harry replied with finality, "And my love for you is much stronger than any hate I have for her. So in the end, it doesn't really change anything that counts."

Severus chose not to reply, but instead nuzzle into her hair even further. A gesture meant to reassure her, and it did.

The three of them sat in silence until Harry broke it a few minutes later, "What happened to her...? I never really knew, after the war... never cared much to find out."

"Azkaban," Ella replied, "Molly Weasley nearly killed her, could easily have if she wanted to. But she didn't. Don't know how I feel about that, honestly. Her being alive and all, I mean."

"Mrs. Weasley would have tried not to kill anyone, no matter how evil," Harry agreed.

"Bellatrix is about as evil as they come," Severus said darkly, "She had a reputation even among the Death Eaters for being cruel."

"So I've heard," Ella nodded, "Would you believe me if I told you that she does, in fact have a soul?"

"I've been wondering what on earth would have possessed her to keep the child. Is that what you're getting at?" Severus asked.

"No, but that does bear some thinking about. Pregnancy does things to a woman's emotions, so I've discovered. I've only known I'm pregnant for a week and I cannot bear the thought of aborting the child, or giving it away. I don't understand how any woman could, no matter how evil. We'll never know why she kept me for sure though. We can only speculate that she must have loved me. Which is actually what I'm getting at. I think she does... love me, I mean."

Harry looked at her puzzled. Severus' eyes darkened, "You've met her, haven't you?"

Ella met his dark gaze and nodded, Harry's fingers tightened on her's, "How could I not have? I was held captive by... him for 10 months. He introduced me to all his favorites..."

"I was rather occupied at the time," Severus added. Harry shuddered and all three were silent for a moment remembering things best left forgotten.

"So what happened?" Harry shattered the quiet.

Ella took a deep breath. She hadn't ever really talked to them much about the time before they had found her. Given the state they had found her in, there wasn't much left to tell, except things like this. She avoided both their gazes and stared at her fingers, entwined as they were with Harry's.

"I wasn't his exclusive slave... he shared me often with the male Death Eaters, as a reward for good behaviour. Bellatrix, while she was not a male, was granted the same privilege. Her... er, feelings for him were such that she greatly enjoyed watching him with his slaves and occasionally joined in. The first time she saw me, not too long after I was first captured, she didn't recognize me immediately. It wasn't until after he was done with me and I was lying bloodied on the floor that she realized who I was. I was on my stomach and she um... played with me a bit... like ran her nails over my skin just enough to make me bleed... and used her finger to make me taste some of the semen and blood leaking out of me- but she still hadn't seen my face then... she rolled me over with her foot, then knelt beside me and put her hand around my neck... tried to lift me like that... Um, he was always careful to avoid doing damage to my face, he said I was too... too pretty. She wanted to see for herself I guess. She pulled my face towards her using my hair with her free hand and studied me for a moment... then she very abruptly dropped me.

"He was watching her play with me and when she dropped me he demanded, 'What is it?' and she stood and stared in horror. I had known she was there the whole time he had his way with me, I had seen her enter with him, but I had been confident she wouldn't know. Yet she did, the moment she got a good look at me. It wasn't until he had pulled her hair so hard she was on her knees that she replied, 'My daughter. She's my daughter.' Voldemort had known, when she became a Death Eater, not a month after giving birth to me that she had had a child. It hadn't much mattered to him then. But it did now.

"After that day he often made her torture me when I was too boring to amuse him on my own. He could tell I was probably the only person in the world that she did not enjoy torturing. And I knew she didn't. There was a day... he was so angry and he took it out on me. He was angrier than he had ever, ever been. I can't be sure, but I think it was the day you and Hermione were captured by Greyback... and Bellatrix tortured Hermione... and you got away right before he arrived on her summons... Well he was angry with her too. That was the worst he ever did to me... he tortured us together... r-raped us together... it was awful. Afterwards... she held me, both of us completely broken and bloodied. She held me until I fell asleep. When I woke up, she was gone, but I was healed. And I didn't see her again after that."

Her cheeks were wet when she finished as they rested nuzzled into Severus' chest, he had somehow managed to pull her onto his lap and slid back into the chair. And Harry's arm were wrapped around both their waists, his face buried into her stomach. Severus' arms were around them both.

"That must have been awful for you," Harry said gently and Ella was glad for it, she didn't want her story lingering in the air anymore.

"It was all awful, at that point I had pretty much given up feeling bad about my situation, I had given up hope, really," Ella explained, "In a very twisted sort of way it made me feel comforted, to know that someone still cared. I knew that my mother, whom every one believed incapable of anything but cruelty, could care about me. I sometimes looked forward to her torturing me, if only to see the way she looked at me, so different from all the others…"

"You have remarkable emotional strength, Miss Parker, to have suffered so much and still be so level," Severus said gently.

"We've all suffered," Ella shook her head as she spoke, "I don't think either of you went through any less pain than I did because of that man. But he's gone, and we're here. I want to celebrate the future, not mourn the past."


Confused? Review!

xoxo