NO SANITY WITHOUT ELECTRICITY
BY SHADOWGATE
…
Stan Marsh woke up at 11 AM and suddenly the power went out.
Shelly yelled from her room "GODDAMN IT, I was talking to a nice boy online and the fucking power went off."
Stan said "well it's probably the weather you can see some dark clouds outside. I'm going to brush my teeth and hit the shower."
After Stan got out of the bathroom he called Kyle.
"Hey Kyle it's Stan how's it going?"
Kyle answered "oh great I'm watching a Terrance and Phillip rerun right now."
Stan asked "wait so your power isn't out from the weather?"
Kyle responded "no it's not and the weather isn't that bad."
Stan said "oh well the main reason I called was to see if your power was out."
Kyle said "well it's not."
Stan said "okay well let me call Cartman."
Stan called Cartman and told him he had no power.
Shelly said to Stan "hey do you think it could be because of the late bill?"
Stan told Cartman "hold on Cartman my sister needs me."
Shelly pointed out the bill's that kept showing up with "late warnings" on them.
Stan asked "you think so?"
Shelly replied "put two and two together you stupid turd. Your friends have electricity and we don't."
Stan said "holy shit" and then got back on the phone with Cartman.
Stan said "okay Cartman I now realize that my parents ran late paying the electricity bill."
Cartman busted out laughing and said "hey you have no electricity like Kenny. Ha and your dad has been arrested for drinking and driving hey maybe you'll have a poor alcoholic dad just like Kenny."
Cartman continues laughing and Stan says "I'll kick your ass so fucking hard Cartman."
Stan hangs up the phone and says he has to call his mom at work.
When he calls Sharon and tells her the power company cut off the electricity because they were late paying the bill Sharon moans but says she'll call the power company.
Shelly asked Stan what their mom said and Stan said "mom is calling the power company."
Shelly said "Goddamn it and I was talking to a boy online."
Stan replied "no way I thought you were a lesbian."
Shelly smacks Stan.
After Stan said "ouch" he asked "what about food? Won't our food spoil in 24 hours if we don't get the power back on?"
Shelly answered "well I'm not worried because I can always eat you."
Stan yelled "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
