I'm surprised nobody hasn't written for this pairing yet.

Anyways...This just started out as a simple idea that turned into something more. Mainly Shatter X Tina with a sprinkle of Optimus X Sam and Starscream X Skyfire. Also...This has a lot o' OCs.


Nearly 30 Billion Years Ago

Shatter, a young Decepticon, was being pushed into a locker by Ariel, the coolest girl in town, and Dropkick, who she once believed to be her best friend. "Now you'll know where you belong, nerd." said Dropkick as he locked the door. "How dumb of me for hanging out with you."

"You don't deserve to be called a Transformer, you're just a piece of gunk." said Ariel.


Now

Tina Lark was crying in the arms of her boyfriend, Tripp Summers. "Tomorrow, I have to get hitched to that stupid alien robot." she sniffled. "I hate aliens! I hate robots! Can't they just leave me and Earth alone?" A week ago, as the Decepticons continued to threaten Earth, Tina's parents, one of the crazy rich guys, decided to sell their daughter to one of them, to fend off the threat. As a result, Tina was betrothed to the Decepticon commander Shatter, who was known to be cold and merciless in battle. Hell, everybody had planned for a huge ass union ceremony, with all the fancy bells and whistles, at the Fandom Central. Even the infamous Director Leyenar herself was invited!

"Sorry, I love you, but they're too big, too powerful for me to deal with." Tripp exclaimed.

Tina immediately began bawling. "No! Do something! I wanna be with you!"


"I can't wait to see what kind of wedding dress Clayton has come up with," smiled Charlie.

"Nor can I," replied Sentinel, "but I'll have to wait until the ceremony. I have a lot to do to get myself ready, seeing as we will be including some of my people's customs as well as yours. Anyway, I'm sure it'll be beautiful. The man does this sort of thing for a living, after all. And the Union Ceremony At The Fandom Central is sure to get his name out there as a designer."

"That sounds like a fun name," giggled Charlie.

Sentinel pressed on the top of the Control Pillar, activating the space bridge.

"Well," agreed Sentinel, "it'll be a historic one, that's for sure. Speaking of which, here come your friends now."

Charlie noticed a variety of cars and SUVs driving through the space bridge. Once they were parked, Clayton, Mikaela, Carly, Simmons, Memo, Lennox, Sarah, Otis, Epps, Sally and Ron, Cade, Tessa, Vivian, Izabella, the Twelve Knights, and a teenage boy she didn't recognize emerged from the cars.

"Who's he?" asked Sentinel.

"I'm not sure," answered Charlie, "let me go ask."

Charlie sprinted towards Sophie and the teenage boy.

"So," asked Charlie, "is that your new boyfriend?"

"Yes," nodded Sophie, "I asked him out and he said yes."

"My name's Daniel Witwicky," added the teenage boy.

"I'm sure Bumblebee's told you all about me and this," replied Sentinel, gesturing to all of Cybertron.

"My parents only allowed me to come here to this union if I brought my brother with me."

"You have a brother?" paused Charlie.

"His name is Sam," nodded Daniel.

"Did he not want to come?" asked Sentinel.

As if upon cue, Sam emerged from one of the cars.

"Actually," clarified Daniel, "I think my brother is interested in a wedding on another planet."

LATER...

The main lobby of the Fandom Central was bristling with guests. Everybody was here—Leyenar, the Dai-Gurren Brigade, the Avengers, the Power Rangers, the Legendary 7, the entire Transformers cast, the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, the Big Hero 6, the Parr family and some others, the Deavors, Ultron, Kylo and Darren, Yasha and Ashura(they were holding a sign with a drawing of Taishakuten and Ashura-oh on it), Kouta and Exkaiser, Reinhard and Ren, Sendak and Shiro, Keith, Lance and Nyma, Hunk and Shay, Pidge and her family, Allura and Coran, Krolia, Amara, Nate and Jake, Yuta and Gridman, Electro, Reiny and Ben, Rex and Noah, Namor, Dr. Strange and his crew, Shuri and Okoye, Deadpool and Shiklah, Galactus and Silver Surfer, Spider-Gwen, the Justice League, Princess Audrey, all seven Lantern Corps, the 007 crew, the Mane 6 and their friends, Celestia and Luna, Michael and KITT, Hope and T-3000, Dr. Pym and Ms. Van Dyne, the FAST crew, Eddie and Venom, Riot and Carlton, Phineas and Ferb, Carl and Stacy, Vanessa and Ulaz, Candace and Jeremy, Isabella, Buford and Baljeet, the Fireside Girls, Wade and Judge Dredd, Xander and Brian, Korra and Asami, Nikki and Brandon, Chloe and Zoey, Emmet and Lucy, Eska and Kuvira, Bolin and Opal, Alec and Magnus, Doof and Perry, Po and the Furious Five, Judy and Nick, Lightning and Jackson, Dusty and Blade, Ripslinger and Cruz, Mater and Holley, the entire Smallfoot cast, Megamind and Roxanne, Minion and Rachel, Metro Man and Casey, Yesss and Set, Gavin and Nines, the entire Kamen Rider cast, Sarah Kerrigan, Alarak and Artanis, Max and Steel, Carrie and Sue, Dany and Sansa, Ignis and Noctis, Mar-Vell and Carol Danvers, Asuna and Yuuki, Ella and Chelina, Bloom and Diaspro, the entire Captain Underpants cast, the Smash Fighters, Galeem and Dharkon—hell, even Lordgenome, Thanos and the Anti-Spiral! Yes, everybody was looking forward to Tina and Shatter's union.

Shatter, or to be more accurate, her human body was wearing a semi-transparent, iridescent red silk robe with golden highlights over her armored form, and gold bracelets on her wrists. All the male Transformers couldn't help but ooh- and aah- at her sight, although Optimus told Sam that he still loved him.

Tina, meanwhile, was wearing a long, flowing white wedding dress adorned with flowers and jewels, a silver veil draped over her hair, and all the male or presumed-to-be-male non-Transformer guests(including Ashura and Kirby) couldn't help but ooh- and aah- at her sight, which made Tripp jealous.

The Anti-Spiral took their place behind the pedestal that held the big book, and began, "Ladies, gentlemen, and creatures of the court. We are gathered here today to witness the union of this…woman(Tina huffed and rolled her eyes) and this, eh, DECEPTICON. So, do you, Shatter, take Tina Lark to be your partner for life?"

"You're darn tootin' I do!" Shatter declared triumphantly.

"Do you, Tina Lark, take Shatter to be your partner for life?" asked the Anti-Spiral.

"No way hozãy!" Tina snapped, then several Decepticons drew their weapons and pointed them at her. "Well, since you put it that way, OK!" said Tina.

"All…right then, if anyone has any reason why these two cannot be joined in unholy matrimony—BESIDES the obvious—please speak now or else forever hold your peace. PLEASE...really? Nobody? No one at all? Huh. Well, then, may I have the rings?"

"Ferb's got 'em!" said Phineas as he and Ferb shouldered their way to the front of the stage, and held out the velvet pillow holding a thick golden collar—it had Shatter's name boldly engraved around the front. Shatter grinned confidently as she placed the collar around Tina's trembling neck, the gold tightly clamping in place with a loud clink.

"Alright, then by the power vested in me by the universe, I hereby pronounce you Thing 1 and Thing 2. You may now-eugh-KISS the Decepticon. Or not. I would really prefer it if you didn't, actu—"

"Can it, Anti-Spiral." Shatter smirked, and kissed Tina fiercely. And, with that, things took a certain turn for the worse.