This is a conversation between Carlisle and Bella about the prospect of him changing her.
Chapter 1
"Bella, may I speak with you a moment?" Bella looked up from the Cullen's kitchen table into the direction of the voice, learning that it was in actual fact Carlisle; stood framed in the doorway to the kitchen who wished for an audience with her and not one of his adoptive children as she had become accustomed to experiencing.
"Don't be afraid Bella, I'm not going to withdraw my promise of changing you now, I just think that you should be more aware of the responsibly than Edward deems proper to enlighten you on." Carlisle added, his eyes flickering to rest on Edward, who appeared to be squirming uncomfortably under his gaze.
"Of course, I want to be prepared Carlisle." Bella made to rise from her seat, when she was ushered back to her chair.
"No, you may stay seated, I will join you." With all the poise and elegance of a member of the royal ballet, Carlisle crossed the room and took the seat on Bella's left, opposite to Edward, knowing exactly Carlisle's thought and intentions on the subject he politely look leave of the exchange and retired to his room.
"Edward?"
"He's fine Bella, besides; he knows exactly what I'm going to say anyway, whether or not I want him to." Carlisle smiled gently at Bella, pursing his lips as he did so.
"Bella, I know that Edward and yourself don't completely agree on the timing of your change, but he is worried for you, there aren't many who would choose this path if given any other, when I change you Bella, the pain will be excruciating. I need to know that this is what you truly want. I am aware Bella, we are not as close as you are with Esme or Alice, but it is I who will be changing you, and I need to know that you have no doubts, that this is where you heart truly lies."
Carlisle's face bored into her own, searching for the reality of her thoughts, hoping that he could detect what she felt.
"I want to be with Edward, that's all that matters."
Bella tore her eyes away from Carlisle's and distractedly began toying with a stray piece of cotton on the sleeve of her sweater. Carlisle's hand gripped her wrist, the chill of his skin startling, gently he prized the cotton out of her hand, picking it up between his thumb and forefinger before placing it between his two hands, she watched intently, mesmerised by his long white hands caressing the string between his fingers.
"Life is fragile Bella," Carlisle snapped the string into two pieces; placing half of the cotton onto Bella's still, waiting palm, and placing the other on the table.
"How could I inflict this half-life on you, when you know nothing of a full one?" He splayed his fingers out onto the table feeling the wooden surface under his hand.
"Carlisle? But... You said?" Bella stood up looking to leave; Carlisle matched her movement, moving one finger to her cheek,
"Touch me Bella; you will feel no warmth the way I do now, your warmth on my frozen skin serves as a stark reminder to me of how precious life is. Precious and fragile, he loves you, and that is why you must listen to him, we are damned Bella, damned to walk this earth for eternity."
"Carlisle. I didn't realise." She took his hand gently from her face and made to replace them back to their original positions at the table.
"It's not just that, everything you will be giving up, Charlie, Renee, your friends, you really will be dead to them. We will become your family, Trust me I have no problem with that if that is what you think this is about, I think the world of you Bella, you just have so much to lose."
"You think I don't realise what I have to lose? Charlie will be devastated, Renee, will be inconsolable, I will never be able to forgive myself for what I put them through. I have thought about this, you're the only person I have told this Carlisle, but I am scared, I'm scared of what I will lose, what I'll become, but I'm more scared about losing Edward."
She tore her eyes away from his, her pride taking a blow in the last few words she had uttered.
"Good, you should be Bella, this is no game, I'm glad you have told me, I will help you Bella, you will not become like Victoria." Bella's eyes flashed again at this, Carlisle realising he had struck the crux of her fright, the prospect of becoming a monster.
"You're too good for that Bella, you have me, I will guide you, and Edward, I'm sorry about what I said before, making you doubt that I would grant what you want, but it seemed the only way of getting through to you."
"I know, I appreciate everything you have said Carlisle, but the prospect of living without Edward or dying before I get the choice scares me more." Bella smiled gravely at Carlisle.
"I see you have thought about this more than I gave you credit for, but please Bella, you can trust me, I will change you. Just please don't make me regret it."
"You won't, it's what I want. Thank you Carlisle, you're a good man."
"I'm not a man, Bella." He grimaced.
"You know what I mean; she looked at him intently, surveying him for a response, before he smiled at her, his eyes illuminating in the dusk night.
"It's your choice. Tell me when." He rose slowly from his chair, hesitating for a moment, before softly placing his lips to her forehead.
