Flashy Carrots

By Matelia-legwll

Disclaimer: Characters and settings all belong to J.K. Rowling, of course.
Setting: It is the Marauders third year. All six main characters from that generation are outside on the Hogwarts grounds near the Whomping Willow.
Summary: Fun, misunderstandings, and hilarious conversations. Teddy bears, applesauce, Bertie Botts, and purses thrown together with the Marauders, Lily and Snape. Prompt challenge. Dialogue-focused.
Rating: K+ or PG
Genre: Friendship/Humor


Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James Potter were purposefully walking across the grounds of Hogwarts, chatting and joking with each other, but they were noticeably heading in the direction of the notorious Whomping Willow. Peter was the first to bring up the tree that they were headed toward.

"That's the tree, eh?" asked Peter uncomfortably.

"It wouldn't be any other," said Remus, raising his eyebrows.

"Kinda flashy, don't you think?" said James, ruffling his hair thoughtfully.

"You think the tree is flashy?" joked Sirius incredulously.

"How is the tree flashing? I don't see any lights." Peter sounded confused. In fact, he looked utterly bewildered.

"Flashy, Peter. Not flashing," corrected James.


Also on the grounds enjoying the moderately pleasant day, Lily Evans and Severus Snape sat across from each other cross-legged, with numerous books surrounding them. Unfortunately for them, they happened to be sitting within earshot of the same tree that the four Gryffindor boys were approaching.

"So did you already do the homework for Flitwick?" asked Lily.

"Yep. All I have to do now is Binns's essay," replied Severus.


"Golly. Do we have to sit so close?" complained Peter loudly as James and Sirius proceeded to sit down within five feet of the Willow's limb span.

"We're observing. Gathering information," stated Remus. He sounded thoroughly amused by the plan.

"On two subjects," interjected James.

"Three actually." Sirius corrected absentmindedly.

"Just have to be precise about everything, don't you Sirius?" accused James.

"Just wanted to make sure you don't forget about the third one." Sirius smirked.

"Yes, because you're so involved in that one," muttered James mutinously.

"Precisely. Because I am." Sirius widened his eyes, false sincerity pouring from them.

"Stop with the creepy looks, please, Sirius!" cried Peter.

"Oh go hug your teddy bear, Pete," murmured Sirius.

"I do not have any teddy bears!" protested Peter.

"Yes you do." James, Sirius, and Remus deadpanned together.

Peter stubbornly looked from one face to another, and finally relented and tried to save face as best as he could. "Fine. But at least I don't sleep with him, like you sleep with your purse, Sirius."

"Ooooo. Some accusation Pete's brought up," grinned James.

"Completely inaccurate," said Sirius loftily.


"I do wish they'd be quiet for once," groaned Lily, rubbing her temples as she stared at the parchment in front of her.

"Not very much we can do about that, Lily," replied Severus, glaring over at the foursome seated on the grounds. He looked like he wished that his statement was just the opposite.

"I know. It's just… Why did they have to choose today to come out here and be noisy on the grounds?" asked Lily, not really expecting much of an answer.

"Same reason we're out here studying, I guess." Severus tried to focus himself back on his studies, knowing that it might just be a matter of time before the four boys saw them and decided to interrupt.


"I solemnly swear," said Sirius, "to not lie."

"So, you completely deny that you sleep with a purse?" Remus pretended to hold a pad of paper and a quill.

"Absolutely," said Sirius, in the same arrogant tone as his previous denial.

"Do you deny that you own said purse?" inquired James. He too was pretending to be a reporter interviewing Sirius.

Sirius paused, and James mouthed the words 'Potential Blackmail' to Remus and Peter.

Sirius caught sight of the interchange, and carefully said, "I do not own it."

"Do you possess one?" James quickly rephrased his question.

There was another pause. "You know, I really hate my cousins sometimes," mentioned Sirius offhand.

"Is the purse flashy?" asked Peter, trying his own hand at the "reporting" fun.

"Is your teddy bear flashy?" retorted Sirius.

Noting that Sirius had not denied the answer, James asked, almost exasperated, "Sirius, why the newt are you in possession of a purse?"

"You don't want to know." Sirius lowered his voice creepily.

"Watch out!" shouted Peter, curling to avoid a swinging branch of the Whomping Willow.

The only problem was… "That was nowhere near close to us." James pointed out.

"Yes it was!" defended Peter.

"Do you need your eyesight tested?" asked Remus.

"No," pouted Peter.


"Now they're just being stupid," commented Severus. He had been unable to concentrate on Binns's essay, and his eyes kept returning to glare at the four Gryffindor boys.

"Well, they are boys after all," sighed Lily. She turned to look at the boys herself and Severus resolved not to make another comment about them. It was bad enough that Lily had to be housemates with the lot; Severus wasn't about to persuade her to pay attention to them during the short moments the two of them found to be together.

"Did they really learn nothing from Gudgeon's experience?" asked Lily. Potter and Black had started to weave closer to the branches of the violent tree while the other two watched.

"Why would they?" muttered Severus, trying once more to concentrate on his essay. "Lily, I don't remember Binns ever talking about this," he complained.

"Oh, he didn't," agreed Lily, turning back to Severus and the books. "But he thinks he did because that day's notes got interrupted by Potter and his lot turning the desk into a giant dog."


"Ah the memories," sighed Sirius dramatically, flopping himself down next to Remus and Peter again.

"It was just yesterday," said James, also seating himself once more. "Really, applesauce doesn't usually evoke this type of reaction from you."

"But it's applesauce that was involved in a prank, James," pointed out Remus.

"True. That does make a difference," acknowledged James. "But usually he reserves that tone for something he actually liked—"

"I'd like some applesauce right now," interrupted Peter.

"Wait, you lot think I'm talking about the applesauce prank?" asked Sirius, coming out from his memories.

"If it wasn't applesauce, what were you talking about?" asked Remus.

"Not that, for sure. That one was sort of lame. Of course, coming from Peter…" Sirius trailed off, suppressing a shudder.

"What? I liked the applesauce prank." Peter started to giggle, remembering. "Did you see that Ravenclaw's face?"

"Yes, we did, Pete," said James wearily. He perked up a moment later. "Sirius, I think it's time to move onto phase three of the plan."

"I suppose we could," agreed Sirius. "No reason to keep away anymore."

Peter started to look anxious again. "Wait, we're not going to keep away from the tree any more? I mean, you two were doing great dodging between the branches but I don't think I could do the same. I don't want to get smacked by tree branches—don't you remember Gudgeon? Not one of us knows where the knot is; besides Evans and Snape are watching, so we couldn't use it even if we knew where it was—plus I'm feeling hungry now. I'm not in the best shape anyway—"

"Peter, stop. Please, stop," requested Remus, rubbing at a temple like he had a headache.

"Yes, besides, Remus here knows where the knot is," reminded James.

"We weren't talking about the ruddy tree," said Sirius bluntly. "Phase three involves Carrots and Snaps over there."

"Wait, you mean Snape, right?" said Peter. "Who is Carrots?" he asked more to himself, checking out where Snape was sitting. "Evans? You're talking about Evans?" This question sounded shocked.


Lily's head involuntarily turned when she heard her surname. She let out a sigh, murmuring, "It was just a matter of time…"

"What was?" asked Severus absentmindedly.

"Potter and his lot noticing we're over here," replied Lily.

Severus looked up, and noted the three pairs of eyes that were focused in their direction from the group by the Whomping Willow. He slowly reached toward his pocket, inching his hand closer to where his wand was.

"Severus, stop." Lily had noticed the movement, and she touched a hand to his arm to stop him from drawing his wand. "If they try to cause trouble today, they will find out what trouble really is. I figured out how to do that Stinging Hex we saw that fifth year use. They'll never know what hit them."

Severus gave a wan smile. He waited until Lily looked down again at her charm work to finish drawing his wand. Severus had a few curses waiting up his sleeve as well. Just in case trouble materialized in the form of the Marauders.


"So, I'm betting that James thinks Carrots is flashy," suggested Sirius.

"Are," corrected Remus. "Carrots are flashy."

"But there isn't more than one Carrots," protested Sirius.

"Then stop putting the S at the end," proposed Remus.

"It doesn't sound right without the S."

"It doesn't sound right with it."

"How can carrots be flashy James?" asked Peter, tiring of watching the argument confused.

"Er, ah, well…" James trailed off, ruffling his hair.

"Ha! You owe me two Sickles, Remus," Sirius informed the werewolf.

"How does that work?" asked Remus. "No one took you up on the bet."

"But you were the one that spoke first, therefore, you took me up on the bet," defended Sirius.

"James, you still haven't told me," whined Peter.

"Carrots are flashy, Pete. I can't explain it. They just grab my attention and hold it," said James.

"But there's no light in the skin of the carrots," protested Peter. "How can something be flashy when it doesn't give off light?"

"It does, Peter. It's not the kind of light that you can see, but it does give off light. And I bet Carrots could even shine in total darkness," said James.

"No they can't. Can they, Remus?" asked Peter disbelievingly.

"A special type of Carrot, I presume, might do exactly as James suggested," offered Remus. "Don't you agree, Sirius?"

Sirius grinned. "James will have to find that one out all by himself on that variety of Carrots. Although I can't understand why something that flashy would be able to sneak up on you all the time."

"What do you mean?" asked James, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

Sirius gestured over the lawn that was in between where the four boys were sitting and where Snape and Evans had been seated. Except that Snape and Evans had somehow disappeared. James started to look around ignoring the joke that Sirius made about him wanting Carrots and Peter's laughter. The sky was grayer than he remembered. He had just started to feel slightly worried, when he heard Lily's voice from a much closer place than he expected.

"Potter! Black! Don't you lot want to come in before it rains?" called Lily over the wind that had slowly been picking up speed.

James jumped. "Sure! Can you wait for us? We'll only be a second," he called back, apparently ignoring Severus Snape who was waiting for Lily a few paces away from her.

"You wish, Potter!" Lily shook her head, then headed back to the castle with Snape.

"I could have told you that would be her answer, mate," said Sirius.

"Not exactly, word for word," protested James.

"But come on, Snivellus was right there. There was no way she was going to let us walk back with him there," reasoned Sirius.

"You're right. I hate Snivellus!" huffed James, glaring at the back of the Slytherin walking into the castle with the redhead.

"Aah! The tree's trying to attack me! Again!" cried Peter, cowering behind Remus.


A few minutes earlier, Lily had sat looking up at the darkening sky. "We should probably go in now, Sev."

"Hm?" Severus replied finishing off a sentence.

"It won't be much longer before it starts to rain," said Lily.

"Ah. We should probably go in then," Severus suggested.

Lily started to giggle. "That's what I just said."

"Sorry," said Severus, smiling at his repetition. The two friends started to pick up their things. Lily finished first and glanced over at the Gryffindor boys.

"It doesn't look like the boys have noticed, though," she murmured, half to herself.

Severus glanced at the four as he and Lily stood, and worked hard to keep his resentment from his voice. "A good rain won't hurt those four."

"But I should probably warn them at least," said Lily as the two began to walk to the castle. "I know I'd hate it."

"What?" asked Severus curiously. He had only caught the last part of what she had said over the wind. What would Lily hate?

Lily's gaze focused on Severus. "Wait for me, will you?"

Severus nodded, still curious and a little confused.. "Of course. What are you going to do?"

Lily never answered him. She walked a few paces away and called to that Potter. And Potter had the gumption to try and get her to wait for him. As if Severus didn't exist. As if he wasn't right there waiting to walk with Lily to the castle. Severus felt the resentment boil inside of him. It was all that he could do to stop himself from interfering and blasting that arrogant toe-rag into a million pieces.

Lily came back to him though, and the two friends started walking back to the castle.

"Why did you do that?" asked Severus after a tense silence.

"Do what?" asked Lily innocently.

"Talk to Potter," said Severus darkly.

"Oh. I don't know. I guess I just thought it would be a nice thing to do," replied Lily.

"Nice thing to do?" repeated Severus incredulously. "Since when do you do nice things for Potter?"

"Since now, I suppose," said Lily defensively, narrowing her eyes. "What does it matter?"

"He'll take advantage of any weaknesses you show," prophesied Severus. "He'll pursue you even more now."

"You think it's a weakness to show kindness and thoughtfulness?" asked Lily incredulously.

"You don't know how his mind works!"

"And you do?" scoffed Lily. "Yes, because being enemies with a person gives you insight into their innermost thoughts."

"He'll think that because you thought of talking to him you care about his wellbeing," argued Severus. "He'll think that you care for him in a romantic way."

Lily paused. "Be that as it may, you already know what I think about him. So, again, why does it matter?"

"I guess it doesn't." And with that, Severus relaxed a little and dropped the subject.


Three of the Gryffindor boys were currently expending a lot of effort trying to distract the fourth from his glaring at the doors of Hogwarts.

"C'mon James. You know you want to try one," tempted Sirius, waving a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans around.

"Last time I got a ghost flavoured one," announced Peter.

"That isn't possible, Peter," said Remus.

"Yes it is. I swear I did!"

"What would ghosts taste like anyway? And how would you know what they taste like?" asked Sirius skeptically.

"They taste like freezing cold water. Have you ever had your mouth open when one of them glides through you?" Peter shuddered at the memory. "Awful. Worse than a cold shower. More like swallowing the cold shower."

"But still—ghost flavoured?" protested Remus. "Are you sure it wasn't just freezing-cold-water flavoured?"

"Of course I'm sure! I know the difference!"

"No you don't, Peter," dismissed Sirius.

Finally the oddness of the topic the other three boys were discussing sunk in to James Potter's mind. "Ghost flavoured Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans?" he repeated, finally glancing away.

"When they say every flavour, they mean every flavour," declared Peter happily.

"Here Prongs, have some," offered Sirius.

"Don't mind if I do," said James pulling out a handful. "Hang on, you're sharing. Where'd you get these?"

"Nicked them," grinned Sirius.

"I wonder if I could get applesauce, or maybe that ghost flavour again," Peter thought aloud, and three groans answered him.

"Who did you nick them from?" James asked Sirius, continuing as if Peter hadn't interrupted.

"Remus," supplied Sirius promptly.

"What?!" burst Remus, rounding on Sirius.

Sirius laughed, holding up his hands in an innocent gesture. "Just kidding, Remus. Don't take everything so seriously."

Remus sighed. "You just did another pun on your name, didn't you?"

"It was a good one, wasn't it?"

"If you say so."

"You sound as if you disagree though."

James suddenly clapped a hand to his mouth, burst out laughing, and threw himself on the ground, pounding it with a fist while he bellowed with laughter. Feeling that this outburst was a bit much for the mild and very normal verbal sparring he was listening to, Remus, Sirius, and Peter watched him until he had calmed down enough to explain. It took him a few minutes and by then, they were all smiling, though they still didn't know the reason for his infectious laughter.

"The beans… I got CARROTS!" James managed to say before falling into laughter again upon hearing it aloud. The other boys started to laugh along with him. Soon they were all laughing uproariously for several minutes.

"Flashy Carrots, actually," James added when the laughter had died down a little.

"What was the difference?" asked Remus.

"Well, it's kind of hard to describe," said James, although he decided to elaborate anyway. "I think I got the ghost flavoured one Pete was going on about, along with the carrots, plus a raspberry, lime, parchment, and something that I can only describe as distinctly from the Muggle world—I don't know what it was. But it sure tasted flashy. Flashy carrots."

"Only you, James," muttered Sirius, still chuckling.

The four were still enjoying their laughter when James noticed a bit of wet had gotten on his palm somehow. He held his hand up, testing the air for a moment before he remembered something.

"Hang on, didn't Evans say something about…" James trailed off as he looked at the sky. Sirius, Peter, and Remus all looked up too. This gave them the interesting sight of watching the heavens break open and the water fall from the clouds hundreds of feet above them.

"RAIN!" shouted all four boys as they tried to make a mad dash for the castle.


"Well, now I know not to wait for you, Potter, unless I want to get all wet," remarked Lily as the four boys in her year tried to dry themselves in front of the Gryffindor Common Room fire.

Sirius laughed and nudged James. But James decided to ignore that and instead ask the question that had been formulating in his mind since Lily had approached them earlier.

"So Evans, why did you warn us about the rain? Is it because you like me more now?" he asked earnestly.

Lily made a frustrated noise. "Can't anybody display common decency and it not be taken the wrong way?"

"I guess not," responded Sirius flippantly.

"Hmph." Lily had decided not to dignify that with a response as she turned and went up to the girls' dormitories in a huff.

"Remind me who gave you that purse, Sirius," said James in a dangerous tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about, James," grinned Sirius.

"Yes you do," inserted Peter. "Remember? We were talking about it earlier."

"Shhh, Peter, it's best to just let them get this out of their systems. Then maybe they won't see a need to prank anyone," advised Remus.

"Pranking!" exclaimed Sirius. "What a wonderful idea! Who should be our victim?"

"Snivellus, of course," proposed James. "I've got just the spell."


A/N: Well, this was a one-shot prompt challenge in the Never Forget Marauders Era Role Playing guild from GaiaOnline. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. And don't forget to review! I desperately need the feedback.

The Prompt: Marauder Generation. All six main characters must be in it. [James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, and Severus] Must be at least 1k words but no more than 6k. Setting is on the lawn near the Whomping Willow. Must have the following words: carrots, teddy bears, applesauce, purse, and flashy.

Thanks for reading!