Disclaimer: Don't own PR, that would be Disney, I just play with the characters.
Title: It Doesn't Matter
She waited until the door shut and then sank down along the wall, bringing her knees up to her chest. She buried her head in her arms and her body began to shake, the sobs she had fought back while he was there had finally broken through her walls. Why had she let him in last night? Why didn't she tell him to go home when she smelt the alcohol on his breath? "Stupid, stupid…"
You know why you let him in, the treacherous part of herself spoke up. After all those years he finally came to you, finally told you everything you'd been dying to hear. Those words she thought she would never hear on his lips, he'd finally spoken to her, he'd finally told her.
You lie, once again, that treacherous part of herself decided to make its thoughts known. You love him. You wouldn't be acting like this if you didn't.
She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts as she finally pushed herself up off the floor. "I can't believe I was so stupid," she whispered as she headed for her bedroom. All the defenses she had, all the walls she put up; it only took one person to cause them to tumble. Only one person could make her weak in the knees with a smile; her head spin with a brush of his lips. She hated him, hated him almost as much as she loved him.
"I need to get out of here," she grabbed her keys and her purse. As she headed for the door her attention wandered to the couch, and she stopped, staring at it, her thoughts drifting to the night before, to the kisses shared, the words whispered in the heat of passion. She shook her head angrily, I'll toss it out tomorrow, she thought as she headed out the door, slamming it shut behind her.
Kim responded to the torrent of knocking on her door and took a step back as she stared up at the person before her. He looked disheveled, and undeniably miserable. "My god you look like hell," she said moving to the side to allow him in. "What happen to you Tommy?" She asked softly as he walked past her. As she followed him into the kitchen, she noticed the slight shaking in his hands, and bit her lip, something was seriously bothering him.
As Tommy sat down at the kitchen table he ran a hand over his hair, frowning slightly. "I need a hair cut," he murmured more to himself than to one of his oldest and dearest friends.
"Tommy?" Kim poured him a cup of coffee and set it down in front of him before taking a seat across from him. "Focus," she said after a few minutes passed and she received no response from him. "What happened?"
"I slept with Hayley last night," he mumbled, looking down at his coffee cup as if it were a foreign object he'd never seen before. "I told her I loved her," he added, looking up at Kim to see her staring at him as if had suddenly sprouted a second head.
Kim's jaw dropped and she continued to stare at him, "Tommy, why are you here…" she looked at her watch, "at eleven in the morning instead of with her if you just last night admitted you were in love with her…finally," she felt compelled to add.
"I left…" he said, looking down again, avoiding her gaze. He didn't even hear the other chair move nor did he have time to react before he heard a resounding CRACK and felt his cheek burning as if it were on fire. He looked up to find Kim standing over him, glaring down at him, her eyes burning with carefully controlled anger. "What…"
"You left! You just walked out on her after telling her you loved her! Thomas Oliver, what in the name of all things holy were you thinking," Kim yelled, ignoring the fact Tommy was wincing in pain at the octave she was yelling in. She couldn't believe that he would do something like that.
"I wasn't thinking Kim!" Tommy cut in as Kim took a breath, hoping to cut off any more of her tirade. "I was drunk alright! I was drunk and I went over to her house, and I stupidly told her how I felt about her! I woke up, realized what I'd done... and told her I shouldn't have come over," he ducked when he saw her hand swinging downward again. "Kim I can't be with her!"
"Why!"
"Think about it Kim," Tommy said rationally. "I can't be with her because, well…" he took a deep breath, "because she's not…"
"So help me God Tommy, if you say because she's not me… or not Kat, I'm going to do more than slap you upside the head," Kim threatened hotly. She couldn't believe what a monumental idiot Tommy was being at the moment. She could only wonder what Hayley was going through, and she felt a pang of sympathy towards her friend.
"No! I wasn't going to say that," Tommy said quickly, moving his chair back out of range of her arms. "I swear. Just… look at you and Jason, Kat and Rocky, Trini and Zack, Andros and Ashley, Kira and Trent…"
"Tommy!!" Kim practically groaned, "Skip the list of all of our friends and get to the point!"
"She's not a ranger," Tommy said with a sigh, running a hand over his face. Why did I come here again, he asked himself, wincing as he felt the swelling on his cheek, where her hand had connected. He looked up at Kim and saw her gaping at him. "What?"
"You can't be with her because she's not a ranger? Are you insane?" She asked, as she began pacing in front of him. "Tommy! Out of the few select people that know about our lives as rangers, Hayley is the closest to an actually ranger," Kim reminded him, rolling her eyes at his reasoning. "Besides, Tanya's not with a ranger neither is Billy, what about Justin huh…" she fired back.
"What are the odds that any of them will get called back to active ranger duty though?" Tommy pointed out. "I can't put Hayley in danger," he said bouncing his leg nervously. The thought of something happening to her, it nearly killed him.
"Oh…" Kim turned to face him, glaring at him, "Tommy! Who drove that damn trailer to Mesogog's lair? Hayley did! She was in as much danger then as she ever would be with you now. Now quit giving me bullshit and give me the real reason you're acting like a coward." She planted herself in front of him, effectively trapping him in the chair. She wasn't going to let him up until she got an answer.
Tommy's leg was still bouncing unconsciously. He looked up at her, all the fight gone from his body. "She sees me," he said so quietly that Kim had to strain to hear him.
"What? What do you mean Tommy?"
He sighed, "You saw me as your white knight. Your knight on a white tiger," he said with a small smile. "Kat saw me as a kindred spirit, someone who overcame evil and fought for the side of good. I understood her fears, her insecurities, because I went through the same thing. You both saw me as the perfect guy. Hayley, she sees everything, the good, the bad, even the ugly, and yet she still loves me. Hayley knows I'm far from perfect, but it doesn't matter to her," he looked down at his hands.
"Oh Tommy," Kim sighed and sank down onto her knees and took his hands in her own.
"With you guys, I was scared to be anything less than a dream guy. For all my faults, I couldn't stand the thought of letting either one of you down," Tommy said quietly, squeezing Kim's hands.
"And with Hayley?" She asked, looking up at him. She was surprised to know that he felt that way. The fear of letting her down, letting Kat down, of being anything less than perfect for both of them. She wished she had known that all those years ago.
"Hayley's seen me at my worst, and she's stood by me. She knows I'm not perfect, she doesn't want me to be perfect either," he met her eyes and bit on his lip.
Kim stood up and pulled him to his feet, "Go" she said pushing him toward the door.
"What? Where?" Tommy asked by the sudden change in her.
"What do you mean where? Go after her Tommy! You love her, she loves you. That's all that matters! Go now, before it's too late, and you loose not only her love, but her friendship too," Kim said sagely, shoving him out the door. He turned to her and she shook her head, "No, stop being stupid, you have a PhD there's no excuse for it now, so go!" she said shutting the door in his face.
Tommy turned around walked to his jeep, leaning against it, contemplating everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours. He'd had her; he'd lost her, now he just needed to find her. He needed to make her see what a monumental idiot he was. He jumped in his jeep and speed off, hoping that he knew her as well as he thought he did. There was only once place she went when she was sad, depressed, or homicidally upset. He only hoped, as he headed for the costal highway, that she wasn't the third.
Author's Note: This is a deviation out of my normal stories I know, but the plot bunny has been biting my ankle for a few days now. Part 2 is already partially written, and will be posted in the next few days. Please let me know what you think. I always appreciate your reviews.
