Chapter One: The Big Idea
In retrospect, Sanzo decided, the whole thing did look as if it was his fault.
Not that he would ever be admitting that.
It began innocently enough on one of the weekend reunions they'd all agreed on after the journey was finished. They were, perforce, held either in the temple (those were the more decorous reunions, where no one got drunk, sang karaoke or ripped their clothes off – at least in public) or at Gojyo and Hakkai's house, a small cottage they'd bought after the journey. All bets were off here, especially if the couple were feeling expansive and had invited the Houtou gang as well.
This time, it was just the four of them, and in the early morning it was definite that only Hakkai and Goku would be cheerful – and that was only because the monkey was dedicated to polishing off the huge stack of pancakes Hakkai had made. Gojyo, on the stool, had his head buried in his arms, and was thunking it rhythmically on the wooden table, as if that was going to help with his hangover. Sanzo, who had had the good sense not to get drunk the previous night, was hiding behind his newspaper – he had coffee inside his makeshift cocoon as well, and saw no reason to be sociable until his third cup, noon, or preferably both.
'Really, Gojyo,' Hakkai said softly, and Sanzo peered over the top of his paper to see him place a steaming cup of coffee in front of him and begin to massage his head with gentle skill. His fingers glowed faintly, and by Gojyo's pleased ahhh, Hakkai was helping with the pain.
'Mmm,' Gojyo purred, leaning back against Hakkai and pushing his head against the healer's stomach. 'Nice. Have I ever told you how much I love you?'
Sanzo nearly retched.
'This is your own fault, you know,' Hakkai said reprovingly. 'I shouldn't help you at all.' His fingers didn't stop moving.
'That's…' Gojyo sighed. 'What you always say. You're such a softie.'
Hakkai laughed a little.
He couldn't help it. He snorted.
'Hmmm?' Hakkai said inquiringly.
'You two,' Sanzo clarified, annoyed. 'You're such an old married couple.'
Hakkai adopted smile #6: I-Am-Not-Remotely-Amused-But-I-Will-Pretend-Because-I-Like-You. 'I see.'
Goku swallowed loudly next to them. 'Hakkai, these are delicious!' he cheered. Loudly. Gojyo winced, and Sanzo felt vaguely satisfied. 'But…what's he mean, old married couple?'
'It means we act as if we've been married for a long time.'
Goku looked puzzled. There was almost a question mark vibrating on the top of his head. Sanzo couldn't blame him – living on the road or in the temple, it wasn't like he'd had any chance to observe any married couples.
Hakkai noticed, too. 'It means,' he elaborated, 'that we love being together. We take care of each other, we're best friends. We know each other well, we don't fight or if we do, we make up quickly, and we do things for each other. There's a lot more to it, but that's more than most married people have, really.'
'But you're not really married,' Goku protested.
'It's just a phrase, you idiot,' Gojyo snarled. 'Stop talking so loudly.'
'But why aren't you married?' Goku asked – louder.
'Well…' Hakkai looked nonplussed. 'I suppose…two men…it's not really…the laws…we wouldn't even get a priest to marry us.'
'Sanzo could do it,' Goku said decisively, and wait, since when did Goku get to tell him what to do? But those big golden eyes turned to meet his. Wibble and all. Sanzo wanted nothing more than to disappear behind his paper and not emerge until next year, or however long it took for them to forget this utterly idiotic idea.
If he'd really wanted to do that, though, he shouldn't have met Goku's eyes.
