Inspired by Rihanna's 'Good girl gone bad', 'Rated R' and 'Loud' Albums.
This is AU.. No Buu, Begins 2 days after Saiyaman arrives.
Russian Roulette
Chapter One/Prologue- Diary of a Bad Girl
It's 2am and I sit here still awake. I don't usually keep a diary but right now it just seems fitting. Maybe it's the guilt urging me to do it. I've never experienced this magnitude of guilt before, it feels different, more sincere. Of all the things I've done in my life this weighs the heaviest on my conscious.
I've lied, cheated, stolen, manipulated and yes, even murdered. Am I proud of it? No. Would I do it again? Maybe.
Capital gain was one thing, but everything I've done so far has been more about the power. The power to control, the power to go anywhere and do anything; It was exhilarating. Unfortunately for me, power never lasts forever. An old friend once told me that you must enjoy the ride to the top because once you're up there, there is no where else to go but down.
It's easy for my to pin point exactly were my life took a wrong turn, where I finally snapped and said to hell with it all. But that same old friend told me that it is childish to blame the past for what one does in the present, so I will not do that. Whatever I've done till this day has been of my own doing. I take full responsibility.
I believe we all have a destiny in life, some people are born to be doctors, teachers, scientists and even heroes. Over the past 9 years I asked myself time and time what I was meant to do in this world, what is my destiny? When I was younger I was almost certain it would involve taking down bad guys, maybe become a police officer, or a private investigator. Or, maybe I was meant to live a simple life; be a good wife and mother and do all the mundane tasks associated with those roles. Looking at who I've actually become I couldn't picture myself as a wife, far less a mother.
A simple life. Sounds like a dream from where I stand. Older people would say that I'm young, and still have plenty of time to make all those dreams come true. I always laugh at such statements. There's a reason why such fantasies are call 'dreams' that's because only when your fast asleep can you truly believe them. Sooner or later you always wake up to the bitter reality.
So here I am at 26 years old feeling like I've lived an eternity. My life in recent years has seem like one long game of Russian Roulette.
Funny thing about Russian Roulette. When you pull that trigger and realize the barrel is empty, you slowly open your eyes, you sigh in relief and secretly hope the next guy gets his head blown off. Of course, if his head stays intact, the game starts again. The gun is coming back your way and you tell yourself -just quit now, it's not worth it- You ponder for a bit, then your foolish pride gets in the way and you don't listen.
I've seen so many die at the hand of that notorious gun. Some I've loved, some I've hated, some I barley knew. There are too many to count, each one has lost their significance.
And so now here I am. Sitting in this horrid jail cell patiently waiting on my fait. Once again the gun pointed at me, only this time my own finger isn't on the trigger. Seems like my luck in this game has run out.
I'm sorry Gohan.
This is Just the beginning. Update will come soon.
Tell me what you think.
