A/N: It's been too long since I've written anything. Tonight's episode of TMNT was just too good to pass up. So. Much. Character building! Thanks in advance for your interest. Please forgive grammar mistakes...it's very late here, not that that's a viable excuse. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Do not own.
Specialized Training
"That's it, Leo!" the red-banded turtle heartily encouraged his brother. "Just a little higher, keep your knees loose; great, bud! You got it!" the sincere commendation would've sounded strange to anyone who knew them: the two mutant turtles being so comfortable with each other when they fought so much. Or at least, they used to fight. Raph hadn't noticed it until Mikey brought it up the other night, but it was true. Since Leo woke up nearly a month ago, Raph hadn't so much as growled in the elder's direction. Raph had laughed when Mikey said it was weird not having to hide breakables from Raph's throwing range on a regular basis. The reality was, Raph realized after thinking about it, Leo just didn't bug him anymore. Nothing he said, nothing he did…all the sudden, none of it seemed to matter anymore.
But Raph knew it wasn't all of the sudden. Those three long months of sitting there, watching; wondering if he'd ever get to talk to his big brother again… Shaking himself from his thoughts, Raph smiled as his older brother successfully completed another kata without the aid of his walking stick. "Great job, Leo!" then, as Leo stepped just slightly off and crumpled to the ground with a grunt, Raph winced, "no…wait…well, ya' almost had it."
Chuckling a little at the glare Leo sent his way, Raph leant a hand to pull the older turtle up. The second Leo's hand wrapped around Raph's shoulder, the warrior turtle knew it was time for a break. Forget tired, Leo was downright trembling. Not that Raph was gon'na say anything about it.
"Let's take a break, bro. Ya're doin' really good there…much better than yesterday."
Slowly lowering himself on a bale of hay, Leo sighed. "You don't have to lie, Raph. I'm still so…" the turtle looked down at his bad leg like it was a rotting tree. "Weak," the word came out like a curse, and as far as Raph was concerned, it carried just as much venom as the worst word he knew.
Taking a breath, Raph plopped down beside his brother and leaned back against the barn wall. The place was tiny, and half taken up by Donnie's new lab, but it made a good dojo anyway. "You'll get there, Leo," he said a bit awkwardly; he'd never been particularly great with words, despite whatever Mikey says. "Ya' really are doin' better."
Sighing again, Leo ran a weary hand over his head and mimicked Raph's posture: slouched and leaning his head tilted up against the rough wooded wall. "Listen, Raph…"
Raph could feel his heart hammer a little. Ever since Leo had woken up, he'd been dreading this…waiting for this. The day when Leo wanted to talk.
The older turtle seemed to be having trouble getting his thoughts together, but Raph wasn't about to rush him. This needed to happen. Donnie said so.
"I, uh…" Leo alternated sighing and fidgeting, until finally giving up. "Thanks,"
Raph jolted a bit at that. Thanks? Really? Of all the things he had been expecting Leo to say—
"Thanks for this, for everything…for taking care of them," Leo nodded back toward the farmhouse, trying to ignore the dumbfounded expression on his brother's face. "For taking care of me."
After a minute, Raph shook his head and tried to smirk a bit. "What're you talkin' about, dude? I haven't done anything," and he was honest. Nothing he'd done felt extraordinary. It was just his family taking care of each other. It's what they did.
Apparently, Leo disagreed. Shaking his head, Leo sat up a little straighter and found his words a little faster. "But you have, Raphael. Ever since this whole mess started, you have been the rock of this team…of our family. You've done everything…everything I've been too weak to do," Raph started to shake his head, but Leo held up a hand and just kept on going. "All the training and teaching. I even saw you helping Mikey meditate the other day."
Raph couldn't help but smile then. He'd almost forgotten about that. Rolling his eyes, Raph looked back at Leo and the smile melted off his face.
Ever since he could remember, Leo's eyes were always the most calming thing in the world: they were strong, soft, warm, and deep. For all the turtles, Leo's eyes were a better source of comfort and protection then any teddy bear in the world. But right then, in that moment, Raph saw everything Leo worked so hard to hide. He saw the fear, the agony, the guilt, and the grief. Why, if Raph hadn't known any better, he would've thought he'd just witnessed his big brother's spirit shatter right in front of him.
But Raph did know better. And he knew with the most heartbreaking certainty that these eyes, these cold, glistening, unsure eyes were not some new breakdown of spirit; they were everything Leo had been hiding, everything he'd been keeping bottled up inside since the moment Master Splinter had first told him to be strong.
"Raph, in the last four months, you've been a better leader than I ever could've been. And I'm…I'm proud of you."
Shrugging it off, Raph turned away, just enough to stare at the piece of straw he'd begun twirling in his fingers. "'was nothin'," he murmured, suddenly bashful. "Anyone would've done the same."
"No," Leo insisted, putting a firm hand on Raph's shoulder. "Not everyone. Raph, what I've seen in you…you're…" Leo struggled with the words. "You're different somehow. Somewhere between when you and Casey ran off to look for Karai back in the city, to right now, out here in the middle of nowhere, you've grown into a completely different turtle."
Raising an eye ridge, Raph glanced over at Leo with a forced smirk. "And I think you really have been practicing too much today."
"I'm serious, Raph," Leo wasn't going to be fazed. Not now. Slowly, agonizingly, Leo stood up and faced his younger brother, most of his weight leaning on the crutch Donnie had made him. "I've been doing a lot of meditating. And I've realized…all this," he used his free arm to waved at his injured leg. "Has made me realize: Master Splinter chose me to be leader just to give you the time you needed to grow into an even better choice."
Raph's eyes grew wide. Was Leo really saying what he thought he was saying?
Looking completely serious and set in stone, Leo stared Raph down with unwavering eyes. "Raph, when our family was falling apart, our brothers had no one to turn to, and our friends lost all they had, you were the one to stand up and pull them through. You've chased Mikey's nightmares away, protected Donnie from himself, eased April's guilt, and distracted Casey from his loss. And in all that, you made sure they kept training, kept meditating; shell, you even watched over me night and day when I couldn't wake up."
This's all too much, Raph's mind kept repeating. What was Leo trying to say? "All that stuff is just what you would'a done if the roles had been reversed, Leo. We're the big brothers. It our job."
Leo huffed. That was not his point. "Raph, I…I think it's time you take over leadership of this team."
All the sudden Raph forgot how to breathe. "Wha-what?!" and then he remembered. "What the shell are you thinkin', man?"
Leo's eyes narrowed and he stood a little taller when Raph jumped up in front of him. "I mean it, little brother. I know Master Splinter would agree with me. You've developed a special bond with Mikey and Donnie, and Casey and April would follow anything you say. You haven't lost your temper once since we got here, and…" Leo lost steam even as he tried to yell. "dammit, Raph, I'm never gon'na be the ninja I was again. They deserve better."
Raph visibly deflated at the same moment Leo did. Stunned by the honesty that seemed to infect the air around them, both brothers sank back to the bale and slouched, side-by-side. The silence between them was long and heavy, but Leo found himself relieved that Raph was at least thinking about what he'd said.
One minute passed.
Two.
Thr—
"You're wrong, bro," Raph finally admitted. Finding a boldness that was unusually difficult for the warrior brother, Raph caught Leo's gaze and held it there. He needed to know Leo heard what he was going to say; needed to know Leo understood. "The only thing that got our family through those three months you were out was hope that you'd wake up. We need you, Leo. You're like…" Raph looked down for a moment, again, not a turtle blessed with pretty words. "you're our big brother. I can't explain it more than that…you're…Fearless."
Head down in shame, Leo shook his head. "I don't deserve that name anymore, Raph."
"No!" Raph jumped, this time his turn to shock Leo. "You listen here, Leo, cuz' I ain't gon'na say it twice," staring his brother down, Raph's piercing eyes glowed with a passion and determination that reminded Leo of the old days. "What you did in tha' city was something only a true master could've done! You saved Mikey, Donnie, and April's lives in the sewers, practically wiped out the entire Foot-bot army, and from what I've pieced together, smashed Razar, Fishface, and Tigerclaw all by yourself! Leo," he grabbed the older turtle by the shoulders when Leo wouldn't meet his eye again. "I call you Fearless because you are. There isn't anything you wouldn't do for any one of us, and unlike me, you have all the skill and brains to do it. You're smart, strong, and hell if you ain't the most stubborn guy I know. I mean, look what you did with the Creep. I don't really remember much, but Don and Mike saw you. You fought, Leo! They needed you and you fought, no matter what pain or weakness you were feeling. No, Leo. You are our leader. No injury or loss will ever change that."
Raph's hands were still on Leo's shoulders, and when the elder finally looked up, the blue of his eyes were shimmering like a stormy sea. "But…I can't…"
Raph's eyes were hard and still. Inside, he forced himself not to quiver. Leo needed this. "No. You can, bro. I mean, I know you don't see it, but every day you are getting stronger; you'll be back to your old self, I know it. Until then, I think you need to take back the lead in our training."
With watery eyes, Leo looked every bit a child of six. "How? I can't even walk without a stupid crutch."
Raph smiled. "Teach like Splinter. Use your mind, not your fists," then, offering Leo a hand to stand once again, Raph finished, "Be our sensei now, Leo."
For a long minute, Leo stared at Raph's hand. They both knew this wasn't just some casual support to stand. This was a bond, a promise, and a trust between two brothers.
Three fingers slowly reached out, and two hands grasped tight.
"I'll need your help," nodded Leo.
"And you'll always have it."
Neither of them knew what was going to happen once they left the farm and ventured back into the city, but if one think was for sure, they would live, they would fight, and they would die together.
End.
