Disclaimer: Don't own the characters.
AN: This came to me as I was watching "Secrets Exhumed" and thought what it would be like if she'd called Elliot to tell him what happened with Dana Lewis. I hope you like it! Let me know!
One Phone Call
They wrapped up the case dealing with Dana Lewis. Amaro had already left to spend some time with Zara. Rollins, Fin, and Munch went out for drinks. Olivia sat at her desk thinking about Dana and what she had done and what she had been through, all the lies she's told throughout the years.
"Do we ever really know someone?" Cragen said as he walked up behind her.
She sat up and looked at him.
"I guess not."
"You couldn't have known it was her."
"No, but I should've suspected after she greeted Noah the way she did."
"She's good at dancing around the truth."
"I know. I just hate that it happened."
"I understand." Cragen sighed. "Go home, Liv."
She nodded and he walked away. She sat there a little longer before gathering her things to head home. Her thoughts drifted to cases dealing with Special Agent Dana Lewis. Back to when she was Star Jones and in the Revolutionary Aryan Warriors, undercover. Elliot had gotten shot by Kyle Ackerman and Lewis shot Kyle. She thought about the eco-terrorists and the fact that Elliot got blown up. He called her a jinx shortly after that. By the time he was shot in the shoulder by a ricocheted bullet fired from her gun, she began to think the same thing too. It wasn't too long after that that he'd left with no word except that he'd turned his papers in. She wondered how did she get here from thinking about Lewis. She decided that she missed him. Part of her wanted to call and tell him what happened, but he hadn't answered any time she had called.
It started she'd call every day and every night. She's stopped calling during the day and just called at night. It progressed until she'd only call every Tuesday. No matter what, she was going to talk to him. As the cab pulled up to her building and she paid her fare, she decided to call and tell him what happened. He needed to know from her and not from the press. She got into her apartment, fixed herself a glass of wine, reheated her take-out, and sat down on her couch to stare at her phone. She ate in silence, sipping her wine every now and then before picking up her phone and dialing his number. It rang and clicked over to the machine.
"Hi, this is the Stabler residence. We're not in right now, so leave your name, number, and a brief message and we'll get back to you," came Kathy's voice.
Olivia hung up the phone. She knew it wouldn't be right to tell him that way. She tried his cell next. It rang and he picked up.
"Hello," he said.
Her throat almost closed and her heart beat faster as she heard his voice.
"El?" she croaked out.
"Liv? What's up?"
She has half a mind to tell him off for not answering when she needed him to.
"Liv, you there?"
"Yeah, uh, you won't believe what happened today."
"What?"
She recounted the details of the case. He listened quietly and when she was finished he said, "Damn, I told you she was a jinx."
They laughed. It felt so good to talk to him again.
"El, why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you answer now?"
It was silent for a minute. She'd thought he had hung up.
"I couldn't talk before. I wasn't ready. I was in a really bad place after what happened with Jenna and Sister Peg."
He stopped and took a breath. She was still listening for more.
"I left because I couldn't handle the job anymore. I tried to make up for lost time with Kathy and the kids, but after the shooting I was so depressed. I wanted to die. Kathy left and too Eli. She said that if I wouldn't get help then she wouldn't let Eli see his father like that. Shortly afterward, I sought professional help. I got better and Kathy came back. We tried it again, but my heart just wasn't in it, at least that's what she said. She filed for divorce and I have joint custody of Eli."
"Wow, El, I'm so sorry."
"It's been rough."
"I would've helped you if you had picked up the phone."
"I know, but I didn't want you or anyone to see me broken. It was cowardice to like I did and for that, I'm sorry."
"I've forgiven you."
"You're an amazing friend to put up with all that and to still try to contact me. I guess what made me answer the phone tonight is because I felt you needed me more than ever and I was finally ready to open up."
"I could've used you several months ago when dealing with Cragen being framed for murder. To see him go through that was especially tough. He's not the man I knew."
"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you."
Olivia sighed.
"After this call, are you going to stop answering again?"
"No, I'm done with that. I was actually thinking about getting together with all of you. You know? Meet the rookies and catch up."
Olivia laughed.
"That'd be great. Just let us know."
"I definitely will."
"El?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for picking up. I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you too. I love you."
Olivia nearly dropped the phone.
"I love you too." Did those words really come out?
"I'll call you tomorrow to set up a time to meet."
"Okay, bye El."
"Bye Liv."
She thought back on her conversation with him as she hung up the phone. His "I love you" rang through her head over and over. Did he mean that? Did he love her?
A knock at her door startled her out of her thoughts. She opened it to find him standing there. Her heart leapt. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, her eyes filled with tears.
"I meant it."
She pulled back and looked at him.
"I meant it, Liv. I love you. I think now I know why my heart wasn't in it to try with Kathy again…it wasn't in it because it was here, with you."
She felt the tears fall down her cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs.
"I've loved you for so long, Liv. You were always there, my constant, my touchstone. You've kept me sane, watched my back, and saved my life many times over. I wanted it to work with Kathy, but I knew it wouldn't. She has my kids, but you, you have my heart and soul. I'm ready to embrace that now."
Olivia looked at him as he said those words. Her heart jumped in her chest. They drew into one another and their lips met in a passionate kiss. Finally, their love was free to roam.
