Title: Hi Meryl

Pairing: Snake/Otacon, mentions of past Snake/Meryl

Genre: Humor

Rating: T

Notes: A conversation.


"Hi Meryl. Sorry I'm late, was up late making a few last minute adjustments. Tell Mei Ling the new software works perfectly. I can't wait to –"

"You fucked Snake, didn't you."

"WHAT!?"

"Or should I say 'Snake fucked you'."

"Wha- Meryl! What are you!- I mean- Why- Meryl!- I- Uh- I- Why would you- I- Meryl!"

"…"

"… is it that obvious?"

"Pretty much. The hickey behind your ear doesn't help."

"Oh my god…"

"So, best sex you've ever had, right?"

"Oh my god…"

"That's Dave alright."

"You're not jealous?"

"Well, not really. I'm the one who dumped him, remember Hal? I don't really have any right to be. Besides, I'm very happy with my lovely tech-princess. Do miss the marathon sex sometimes though."

"Oh my god… you mean he does that a lot?"

"Yep."

*thunk*

"This is the first time I've been out of the apartment in four days. If he hadn't had to leave last night to stake out that warehouse, I don't think I'd have made it here."

"Yeah, he had my panties off the moment we got back to his cabin. Would've spent the entire week in bed if he hadn't needed to feed the dogs."

"Oh my god…"

*thunk*

"So, did he do the tongue thing?"

"…tongue thing…?"

"Yeah, the tongue thing, with the licking?"

"Oh my god..."

*thunk*

"Take that as a yes. And the shoulder massage?"

*thunk*

"Oh! And that bit with the ankle nibbling? Did he do that?"

*thunk*

"Hal, stop banging your head on the table."

"He just doesn't stop. He's like an energizer bunny!"

"Cloned super soldier, remember?"

"You think it's genetic?"

"I know so. I asked Uncle Roy once, and he said that Big Boss was a quote 'Equal opportunity hornball', and that aside from a preference for blondes, he'd screw anyone willing… then he muttered something about Ocelot being a dirty thieving skank.

"…"

"He was on his tenth beer at the time."

"Somehow, that's not very reassuring."

"Aw, c'mon Hal, you can't say you didn't enjoy it."

"Well yes but…"

"'But'…"

"I'm a little nervous. I've never been very good with the whole romance thing, and I really don't want to mess this up. I don't suppose you have any advice?"

"For a relationship with Dave? Well, first and foremost, you can kiss your personal space goodbye."

"Huh?"

"Dave was all over me when we were together, even when we weren't screwing like minks. He was always touching, or caressing, or hugging. He's very tactile."

"That doesn't seem so bad."

"It works both ways. If he's going a little too fast and you want to slow him down, try sucking on his fingers."

"What?"

"Look him in the eyes when you do it. He'll be completely mesmerized, trust me. Another thing you might want to try is to…"

*LATER*

"Hey, there you two are."

"Hi Dave."

*snicker*

"Hi."

"Mei Ling had me looking all over town for you."

*giggle*

"What?"

"Nothing…"

*giggle*

"Whatever."

"Well, I guess I should get back. Nice seeing you, Dave."

"Err… yeah. You too Meryl."

"And Hal, don't forget to call me later."

"Bye Meryl."

"So what exactly were you two doing for two hours?"

"Just talking."

"About what?"

"…"

"Why do I not like that look on your face?"

"Oh! Before I forget…"

*thump*

"Hey! What was that for? Ow…"

"You left a hickey behind my ear!? How in the name of Toriyama did you put a visible hickey behind my ear!?"

OWARI


Notes: This was kind of a challenge to myself, since, for some reason I can't actually see Snake and Otacon banging like bunnies nonstop. Snake and Meryl, Snake and Grey Fox, heck even a Snake/Liquid/Otacon threesome, but when I think of Dave and Hal together the image in my head is always cuddly and domestic.