Disclaimer: YYH Not mine.

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Yusuke's Oatmeal

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One day Yusuke was walking down the street with Keiko on his arm.

Yusuke: Man, I sure could go for some oatmeal...

Keiko: Oatmeal?

Yusuke: Chyaaa!

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Kurama was sitting pretty in class, when Yusuke suddenly appeared in the window beside him.

Kurama: Eeeeep!

Yusuke tapped on the window, looking famished.

Yusuke: ::In old man whisper;: Im hungry for oatmeal Kurama!

Kurama asked to be excused from class and walked to the side of the school where Yusuke was.

Kurama: Like, what the hell are you doing here Yusuke? Im trying to like, listen to my teacher's lecture!

Yusuke: I need oatmeal...and I know only YOU have the power to make a good batch!

Kurama: As if! That's an American food. I cant make it. Besides dont you have Keiko to make you some food?

Yusuke: She couldn't boil water.

Kurama: But what abou-

Yusuke: Come on Kuramaaaa! Come on! Come on! Just do it!

Kurama: Like, whoah! Prom night flash-back!

Hiei suddenly fell from a tree nearby, on his rear.

Kurama: Oh my goodness! ::runs over:: Hiei are you okay? ::helps him up::

Yusuke: What are you doing here Hiei?

Kurama: Oh, he always watches over me from this tree, and I pretend not to notice.

Hiei: Chya right! I was not! I happened to stumble on my way-over to the temple.

Kurama: Ok Hiei, I believe you. ::winks at Yusuke::

Hiei: STOP WINKING! Its not cute, its gross.

Kurama: ::eyes get all watery:: its-not cute? ::sniff sniff::

Hiei: No! Its not cute! And neither are you!

Kurama: Waaaaaah! ::runs off to cry in the little girls room::

Yusuke: Dang Hiei, you sure are mean!

Hiei: Nah, really? ::goes to hide in another tree::

Yusuke: What a jerk. ::lights up:: Hey maybe I can take advantage of Kurama's vulnerability and have him make me some oatmeal...thats all I really want. ::stares at the camera:: Oatmeal.

Yusuke walked over to the bathroom and knocked on a stall door.

Kurama:::sniffing:: Go away Yusuke! Im busy in here!

Yusuke: With lady business?

Kurama: eew, HELL NO!

Yusuke: So are you gonna make that oatmeal?

Kurama: ::blowing his nose:: as if. I only cook for Hiei. But he's such a meanie, I dont think I'll ever cook again!

Yusuke:::thinking:: Hey maybe you could cook me some, to make Hiei jealous!

Suddenly Kurama burst out of the stall knocking Yusuke clear across the bathroom.

Kurama: That is the best idea you have ever come up with in your whole entire, delinquent, loser, sex obsessed, meathead, small weenied-

Yusuke: -_- o...K!

Kurama: -life!

Yusuke: Lets just go already!

Kurama: But I can't skip school!

Yusuke: Why not?

Kurama: I'll miss my aerobics class!

Yusuke: Oy! Fine I'll see ya after school. ::walks off all sad::

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Kuwabara was skipping school again, and going to an ice cream shop. Suddenly Yusuke walked up to him and slapped him on the back.

Kuwabara: Ouch! What was that for?

Yusuke: Hey there, my friend, ol' buddy ol' pal!

Kuwabara: uh..hey.

Yusuke: I need a favor.

Kuwabara: Ok. What is it?

Yusuke: Can your sister cook oatmeal?

Kuwabara: My family would die before touching Western food! ::Japanese flag waves gloriously behind him::

Yusuke: Then why are you eating ice cream?

Kuwabara: Um...::drops the ice cream in the trash:: Damn those westerners! Plaguing my mind! ::curls up in a fetal position::

Yusuke: Forget you!

Yusuke walks off

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By this time Yusuke was desperate. He walked all the way to Genkai's temple.

Yusuke: ::crawling on the floor:: Baasan, baasan. I need...I need...

Genkai: ::worriedly:: What is it child?

Yusuke: closer...

Genkai moves closer.

Yusuke: closer...

Genkai moves a little more closer.

Yusuke: CLOSER!...I need some...

Genkai: yes yes...what is it?

Yusuke: oatmeal...

Genkai: oatmeal?

Yusuke: oatmeal.

Genkai kicks Yusuke down the stairs. Yusuke rolls all the way down the temple stairs, hitting the bottom with a thud.

Botan: Hello Yusuke!

Yusuke: Botan! ::gets up:: Do YOU know, how to make oatmeal?

Botan: Whats oatmeal?

Yusuke kills Botan.

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Kurama finished his aerobics class, and walked out of the school, fully clad in Lycra attire and a pink headband.

Kurama: Wow! I feel like so hungry after that aerobics class!

Yusuke: I need...::falls on Kurama::

Kurama: Eew! Yusuke get off of me!

Hiei suddenly pops out of a tree, sword in his hand.

Hiei: You! We'll see how you like my kitana in your gut!!!!

Kurama: No Hiei! Im like, right under him. You have to, like, push him off and THEN stab him!

Yusuke: Oatmeal! ::Yusuke deflects Hiei's attack and gets up:: I NEED OATMEAL! ::grabs Kurama's waistband and lifts him off the ground, holding him in the air:: OATMEAL! NOW!!!

Kurama: ::writhing in mid-air:: Ok ok. Dont get all primal! ::blows a bang out of his eyes::

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At Kurama's house.

Kurama finishes Yusuke's oatmeal and serves it in a bowl.

Yusuke: Finally. ::grinning::

Kurama is about to give it to him, until Hiei comes in the door.

Hiei: What are you doing kitsune?

Kurama: Im giving Yusuke-kun some oatmeal. What else does it look like?

Hiei: ::smoke coming from his ears:: I thought you only made ME food!

Kurama: Well, you said I wasn't cute! When everyone knows I am the most cutest kitsune in the world!

Yusuke: can I have my food now?

Kurama ignores him and rants with the bowl in his hand.

Kurama: You have like, no respect for me! I could have anyone I want. But NO Im with you! You should feel lucky...

Hiei: Give me the oatmeal.

Kurama: no.

Hiei: Give it to me!

Kurama: Its Yusuke's! ::is about to give it to Yusuke::

Hiei: Dammit kitsune! ::pounces on Kurama, sending the bowl soaring::

Yusuke: ::slow motion voice:: Nooooooooo!

The bowl flew in the air and fell all over Kurama.

Kurama:...

Hiei: Uh oh...

Kurama: WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! It burns!!!!!!!!

Yusuke: MY OATMEAL!!! ::getting pissed::

Hiei: Kurama, daijoubu ka? ::tries to help him, but gets a foot in the face::

Kurama: My new blouse! Hiei how could you? Im all burnt and my blouse is totally ruined! Waaaah! ::kicking and throwing a tantrum::

Yusuke: MY OATMEAL!!!! ::attacks Hiei::

Kurama: Are you guys fighting over me? ::blushes::

Hiei: Chya right! He just said: "MY OATMEAL" really really loud you egotistic youko!

Kurama: You know you want it!

Hiei: Wha...? The oatmeal or you?

Kurama: Both! The oatmeal is all over me! Waaaaah!

Yusuke: ::gets an idea::

Yusuke stops chasing Hiei and walks over to Kurama. He starts eating the oatmeal off of Kurama.

Kurama: Eew! Yusuke, get away!

Hiei: ::turning redder than ever before:: YOU GODDAMN NINGEN GET YOUR MOUTH OFF OF KURAMA!!!!!

Yusuke: ::finishes up after keeping Hiei at a distance with a hand on his head:: Scrumptious!

Kurama: That is like so totally gross...

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END