To Save You From Yourself – Chapter I
Numb.
He stared into the faces opposite him in the cold hospital waiting him, their eyes drained of all emotions, their bodies still recovering from the double knockout blow they had received an hour before. Not that he registered any of their feelings. He was just numb. He knew Alexis was holding his hand, his hand which was still caked with Kate's cold blood, his hand that tenderly stroked away Kate's dried tear before his mother forced him away from her body, as Lanie put pressure down on Kate's wound.
But he couldn't feel any of this. He felt like a ghost in his own prison, devoid of all thoughts.
Kate, I love you. I love you Kate.
The voice from his memory stabbed him in the gut. Stop thinking Rick. Stop thinking about it.
He heard a anxious tapping noise and glanced over to see Jim Beckett's blood shot eyes fixed in determination as his nervously tapped his foot on the floor. He let Jim down. He knew it. Jim entrusted him with this one thing and he failed. He was too slow. He knew there was something wrong at the cemetery but he let Kate slip through his fingers…
His brow furrowed as he grasped on to Alexis' hand tighter. Never again. He'll be faster next time. He'll save her. Always.
Next time?
The worrying thought flew out of his head as a tall figure in scrubs came charging up to them. Rick looked up anxiously in hope of news but his face fell when he recognised the doctor, his dark face torn with pain. Josh.
"I..." He pulled off his scrub cab and ran his hand through his black hair as he look around at the surprised faces in the waiting room, then caught his eye on one. "You must be Kate's father." He moved up to Jim with outstretched hands and crouched down beside him. "I just scrubbed out then when they told me." He carefully shook the father's limp hand. "Listen I…" Rick couldn't help but glare at Josh as his voice chocked with emotion. "…I came here to say that I'm going to find out everything I can about Kate. I know the surgeon, I'll find out the news, and I'll tell you." His eyes flicked to Rick then back to Jim. "You won't be in the dark any more. I'll be as quick as I can." With a nod Jim and a glance at Ryan and Esposito, he was gone. The thought passed Rick's mind that he should say thank you, but the words couldn't pass though his mouth. He hadn't said anything to anyone expect Kate.
It was a long, quiet wait until Josh returned. No one had the desire to talk, as if they were all holding their breath, waiting for the judgement.
He felt Alexis' other hand encircle his as Josh slowly strode back up to them. Rick felt he was smacked back to reality as he shot up from the hard plastic chair and faced Josh.
"Well?" He chocked out.
Josh took in a deep breath. "The good news is, the bullet had entry and exit. It had a straight path through her stomach and a kidney. If the surgery goes as planned, she should be out in a few hours and hopefully have a full recovery."
There was a collective sigh in the waiting room, as if a crushing weight had dropped from their shoulders.
Except Rick. He studied Josh's face intensely. "But?" He knew words. He knew when there was more to be said.
"But…" Josh glanced at him. "There is a chance her injured kidney will fail. A small chance but… a chance."
"She'll fight through it." Esposito's voice rang through as he hugged Lanie closer to his side. "Nothing can keep Beckett down."
"No." Rick's deep voiced murmured as he sat back down by Alexis. "Nothing…"
"Richard." His mother's voice broke him out of his trance as a steaming paper cup appeared in front of him, encircled in perfectly manicured hands. "Drink up dear, you need the comfort." He had never been one for tea, but he diligently took the paper cup and sipped at the weak drink, his body still on autopilot. Martha stroked his knee with her thumb, and looked him in the eyes knowingly. With a small smile she moved over to Jim and handed him a second paper cup, and offered him her hand with a secret empathetic whisper in his ear.
Rick looked over to Josh, who had been waiting with them in the foyer, sitting away from the others as he fiddled with his pager. Suddenly his sullen face turned as he looked down the hallway. Rick quickly followed his glance and his heart skipped as he saw a sombre doctor walk towards them.
"My name is Dr Creber, you're here for Detective Beckett?" The surgeon nodded to Ryan and Esposito in there now rumpled uniforms.
"Yes." Rick quickly interjected. "How is she?"
"The surgery was a success." Creber gave a tired smile as Rick dropped his cup of tea and Ryan and Esposito pulled each other in for a relieved hug to Lanie and Jenny's amusement. "We're still closely monitoring her kidney function but her vitals are all looking very promising. She's a healthy woman."
"Can I see her?" Jim's struggling voice rose up.
Dr Creber looked at the men in uniform then at the other doctor who stood up from his chair next to them. "Well, visitors are usually strictly prohibited…"
"This is the father of New York's finest detective." Josh tried to convince his friend. "You know he won't be any problem."
Creber looked over to Jim, then back at Josh. "You owe me." He murmured, then turned back to Jim. "Ok, if you follow me I'll take you to her room."
"Richard Castle will come with me." Jim determinedly pronounced as he stood up.
Rick looked at him in shock. "Sir, I – "
"Listen it's hard enough having you in there so soon." Dr Creber tried to reason with him as kindly as he could. "But a non-family member?"
Jim took a step over to Rick as he debated in his mind whether he should reject the father's offer or not. He knew it was the right thing to do to let his father be alone with his daughter but this was Kate – it was so painful the sensation of not being by her side, by not being them; that he needed to take any opportunity to be near her, to see her.
"I need him with me." Jim drew his line is the sand as the surgeon gave a frustrated sigh. "I'm not going without him."
Dr Creber looked over to Josh as he stared at Rick then turned his conflicted eyes back to his friend. "Your choice." Josh's small voice answered.
Creber shook his head. "Alright, but only for the NYPD. This way."
N/B
Oh hai there! Yes, this is YET ANOTHER post 3x24 fic. Sick of them yet? Let's hope not! Cause otherwise I be screwed! Not literally though…I prefer to be 'soniced'.
'Nuff of that though – this chapter: Yes, well this is pretty much me just spewing out some stuff, since my head is sort of in the same frame of mind as Castle's in this chapter. Numb. But yeah, I read the interview with Andrew W Marlowe (in whom we trust) and I started to get interested in the long haul of the story after the season finale – so consider this my dry run of season 4. Cause we got a long wait till the real one.
Oh, and sorry bout the Josh but he needs to be there if only to be thrown away. YAY!
So, if you think this is a bland start – it shall be juicier! All I need is your precious reviews! Oh sweet delectable critique, how I yearn for you! Or is that just naan bread? Hmm…. maybe both. So, while I'll sort out the naan bread, you can sort out the reviews. That a good deal? No? Well then, no naan bread for you!
Just joking. Of course you get naan bread. I'm not that mean and egotistical. ….or am I?
