Cut

Summary: Chase's life could be cut into three bits – when Mum was around, when she stopped being his mum and after she died. Chase and how he reached the decision to become a doctor.

Warning: mild references to child abuse, strong language, drug abuse and mature themes in future chapters.

I used Jesse Spencer's birthday because I'm not sure when Chase's birthday is. I also gave his mother Michael's mother's name. (Go Prison Break!)


Patient: Robert Rowan Chase.
Date of Birth:
12/02/1981 (26)
Place of Birth: Melbourne Hospital, Australia
Father: Rowan Michael Chase
Mother: Christina Robyn Rose

Chase figured that if he ever had to take a patient history of himself he'd divide himself into three periods. He doesn't remember his life in ages – like when you were a kid, when you were a teen and as an adult. It just didn't fit that way because birthdays never mattered much in the Chase household. He doesn't remember his age so much as how he felt. No, he wasn't going to waste his time bemoaning his short childhood. It was more like he can't ever remember exactly when he became an adult or if he ever became one (his father would certainly have something to say about that).

Chase remembered his life like this - when Mum was around, when she stopped being his mum and after she died. He hated to think that he lived his life around someone but that was exactly what he did, what he had to do. It made little difference to him because as much as he resented his Mum for her drinking, for the things she did to him and for the things she didn't do that she should have done…he knows he can't bring himself to hate her. His mother loved him. He knows that she must have had to love him. At least once. Maybe when he was a baby. Before. That had to count for something.

DOWN:
19. To separate into parts with or as if with a sharp-edged instrument; to sever... (3)

Chase chewed on his pen, trying to solve the puzzle in front of him. Crosswords were easy. Despite its design, for Chase, it was almost mindless sometimes. A game to play. A ritual to go through. If only the gaps in his life were as easy to fill. Was that a symptom or a cause? Was he trying to diagnose himself? Self-diagnosis was dangerous after all.

He chuckled softly in the empty conference room. It was still early and House wasn't in yet. He thought about co-workers. If their specialities said something about them. Maybe Foreman specialised in neurology so he could show how smart he was. Maybe Cameron specialised in Immunology so she could prevent everyone else from feeling pain. Maybe House specialised in Diagnostics because he needed to find a logical reason for everything. Himself? His specialities were in Intensive medicine and cardiology. So maybe he was trying to save people and give people the gift of life? Or did it mean that he was obsessed with playing God? Fixing holes and abnormalities of the heart so that maybe he'd be able to understand how a healthy heart could hurt...

He wasn't sure if he became a doctor so he could heal himself. Or if it was so he could distract himself from his own pain with the pain of others. Or if it meant he didn't need anyone to save him.