Spoiler alert! Do not read if you have not read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and/or watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2!
Especially if you have not watched it. I don't want to ruin the show for you!
And it's no fun to anticipate something, trust me! (just in case it falls flat of what you imagine after reading something e.g. a review, thoughts by fellow movie-goers)Come back and read it when you've watched the movie!
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Not so much a fanfiction as a tribute to Severus Snape, the bravest, noblest man ever – in fiction. And in real life, if this were real. This is also my blog entry on LJ.
The 5-second clip of Severus holding Lily was just, wow. Poignant. Heart-rending. It was terrifying to see Severus cry, to show even a hint of emotion; much less that of such pain, hopelessness, desolation, despair…
Afterall, we are so used to seeing that blank face; the merest hint of emotion would be his carefully calculating, piercing dark eyes, that elegantly raised eyebrow, or that smirk of disdain.
I was not ready at all to see his expression of piteous pain, despite psyching myself as I saw Severus stumbling unsteadily to the room where Lily Evans was killed. Despite knowing that he knew that Lily was dead, that the Dark Lord left no survivors where he was determined to kill. Knowing that he was going to his childhood sweetheart's room, fearing what he might see, what he knew he would see. Knowing that he was the one who told the Dark Lord of the prophesy; knowing that he was the one who sent Lily and James Potter – especially Lily – to their dooms.
Severus was always a poised, calm, elegant, eloquent, calculating, snarky bastard. To see him fall apart so badly, is just downright alarming and spine-chilling. One would think Severus had no feelings, no emotions, no capabilities to love. The Severus we knew would never allow himself the weakness of showing that he cared for anything or anyone. (Especially not Harry bloody Potter, who had his father's looks – unfortunately for Severus – but his mother's eyes.)
But in all honesty, Severus' cold, bitter and hard exterior was shaped due to his wretched past – the loss of the love of his life, both metaphorically and physically; the abuse he suffered at the hands of his parents; the neglect, the isolation, rejection and outcast of his peers…the perpetual loneliness that he endured…being totally misunderstood by all and sundry…his only way to assuage the loneliness and emptiness he felt, was to throw himself, mind, body and soul, into his passion for the Dark Arts – although he was not evil at heart. He was simply extraordinary in his spellwork. Charms and Transfiguration were too 'soft' and 'useless' to him (imagine using wingardium leviosa to defeat the Dark Lord – preposterous. Or, even the idea of Transfiguring the Dark Lord into an inanimate object – ridiculous). He needed something to stimulate him – mentally, intellectually. Potions and the Dark Arts afforded him these.
His involvement in the Dark Arts ensured that he was hated by all; even though venerated by those on the Dark side, he had no one, really. Not even Lily, although she was the only one who understood him.
He was caught in a permanent downward spiral, with no light at the end of the tunnel. And goodness knows he tried his hardest to remedy his wrongs, to no avail (whilst he was alive, that is).
His was a sad, but noble, martyr-like existence. It is a wonder he did not kill himself before then…to carry on such a heart-stopping double life…no doubt with many, many close shaves. Being hunted by both sides, the Light and the Dark.
His love for Lily Evans, even after all those years of separation, of no contact since he called her that awful label; even after her death, was just so hugely immense. A Patronus shows a person's true loyalties. Severus' never did change. "After all these time?" "Always."
He never meant to hurt Lily Evans. Not even James Potter. He spent his entire life, giving himself to the cause – The Order of the Phoenix. What did he get? Nothing but downright dislike, loathing, even being taunted, spoken badly of, his whole adult life. Like he was nothing but a worm, to be trodden in the mud at any possible chance.
Severus must not have been a human. Not an ordinary one for sure.
Poor Severus :'C
I seriously shivered really badly in the cinema, and not due to cold, definitely. Had I been alone, I would probably have bawled my eyes out.
A/N : I just watched DH part 2 yesterday afternoon, and then I read this awesome, terribly, terribly sad fanfiction about Severus. At midnight. I couldn't sleep for some time after that. Major tissue alert! You have been warned! But it's a wonderful fic; I heart it so much after I stopped crying. The Tattered Man by Aurette. I'm really sorry I sound terribly depressing here! :C
