Bible Fanfiction
In a time, like a bunch of years ago, like there was a guy and he was like Jesus. Also he was black and very gay.
One day he was "Milking the cow" when Mary walked in. "Jesus what the fuck are you doing?" Mary exclaimed.
"Obediah was fetching water with his shirt off, get off my fucking back mom," Jesus complained, then crawled out the window. As Jesus walked through the town he saw Daniel, when Jesus saw Daniel he got a raging John Boehner. Jesus then used his holy abs to penetrate Daniels anus viciously.
When Jesus got home he played Eye of the Tiger by Survivor and masturbated vigorously to the beat. When Jesus came Noah and the animals were lucky because they had a boat and that they were protected from the sticky, slimy, thick flood.
Once the jizz drained everyone got pregnant, even the men got pregnant. When the babies were born, they had 8-packs and could speak every language. The process was repeated 8 more times, then the Romans got pissed and grew tired of Jesus's shit. They chose to crucify.
As the cross was brought Jesus got one last raging John Boehner, he quickly enacted upon it. When he came he used the jizz to defeat the romans, after the Romans were defeated Jesus aimed his cock at the ground, and used the force of him cumming to fly himself to heaven.
