Rebuilding The Foundation Part Three of Tears In The Shower

Disclaimer- I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.
Rating - Suitable for mature audiences.
Story Warnings - It's sad, and Raph's mouth. Some emotional distress too. (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)
Pairings - Brothers being brothers. Nothing sexual happening here, folks. (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)
Universe- Whichever you want.
Ages- Adult

Summary- Raph helps his family to heal.

Rebuilding The Foundation Part Three of Tears In The Shower

SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!

SMACK! SMACK!

In the beginning, they were four.

SMACK, SMACK!

Somehow, somewhere along the way, they became three and one.

SMACK!

And now it seemed like they were heading towards being two and two.

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!

He slumped against the punching bag. The feeling of the worn leather against his emerald skin strangely comforting.

Two and two was better than one and three. Leo wasn't alone so much anymore. Still two and two wasn't four.

They were supposed to be four.

Smack!

He weakly punched the bag while still leaning against it.

They had always been four. Four turtles. Four children. Four students. Four warriors.

Four brothers.

SMACK! SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!

Damn Leo! Why'd he pull away!

SMACK, SMACK!

Didn't he know they were supposed to STAY four!?

SMACK!

Smack.

He knew why Leo pulled away.

Damn Splinter!

SMACK!

Why'd that damn rat have to go and die! Damn him! DAMN HIM! DAMN HIM!

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!

Splinter was their father! He promised to take care of them! He's supposed to be here to take care of them! To take care of LEO!

Smack!

Leo took care of the other three, and Splinter took care of Leo. That's how it's always been.

Damn Splinter. Damn pneumonia.

He leaned heavier on the punching bag, panting from his exertion.

Everything had changed when Splinter died.

Damn, he hated change.

And of course, Leo picked up the slack.

Damn him too, again.

He pushed his body off the punching bag, leaving his forehead to rest against the worn leather.

He wanted things to go back to the way they were. He liked the way things used to be.

He was calmer then.

He didn't know how to make it go back to how it was. Did anyone?

Could anyone?

Gentle arms wrapped around his waist, a soft chin resting against his sweaty shoulder.

He sniffed. Fresh cookies and tomato sauce.

Mikey.

He turned, latching onto his baby brother. Inhaling deeply, he could almost convince himself everything was the way it used to be.

"Spiraling again?" his brother whispered.

He stiffened, snorting harsh and humorlessly.

Yes, he was spiraling. He was always emotionally spiraling.

Because things weren't right!

He stepped back, ready to yell, then stopped.

Spiraling. A spiral. A continuous line curving around in on itself. A line going forward, still touching points from the past.

Moving ahead, yet always going back to the way things used to be.

He knew what to do!

He grabbed Mikey, kissing him hard.

"Cook!" he ordered. "Go cook everyt'in' we like! Everyt'in' we eat when watchin' movies! An' drinks! Make milkshakes, smoothies, whatever we got!"

He had work to do.

He removed the doors to Splinter's room. He ripped out the wall separating Splinter's room from the rest of the lair.

Neither were needed any more.

He moved most of Splinter's furniture to the living room. then rearranged the rest.

He pissed everyone off.

He didn't care.

He was determined they become four again.

He made a shrine in living room. Memories of Splinter, and Splinter's memories of his past were carefully placed in positions of honor. He lit his favorite incense, sending a silent pray to his departed father to forgive him for what he had done.

A warm feeling of comfort washed over him.

Splinter approved.

He almost burst into tears.

It was getting late. Leo would be rounding everyone up for training soon. He needed to hurry, or things wouldn't be ready in time.

He went to their bedrooms, grabbing pillows, blankets, plushies, and mattresses.

He made a nest in Splinter's old room. A nest like the one they had slept in as children. A place of comfort, warmth, each other, and love.

The way things used to be.

He saw Mikey watching from the kitchen. A ghost of a smile playing along his baby brother's mouth.

How long had it been since Mikey smiled?

Too long.

"Raph." There stood Donnie, holding out a familiar plastic box.

The DVD they had planned to watch the night Splinter had died. The one Leo had been wanting to see for six months. The one the three of them had pitched in to get for their brother.

The one Leo never watched.

Because Splinter died.

Raph looked at his genius brother. Wave after wave of emotions too jumbled together to identify hitting him.

"Donnie," he didn't know what to say. "You're amazing."

There it was. That smug, appreciative look in his genius brother's chocolate eyes.

Just like before.

"I'll go set it up," Donnie offered.

"I'll take the munchies in," Mikey said, walking by with the largest tray they owned piled high.

"I'll get Leo."

He didn't have to go far. He met his older brother coming down the stairs. He felt his heart clench.

Big brother was too young to look so old.

"It's time for practice." Leo's voice was tired, exhausted.

Leo hadn't done anything strenuous all day.

Time for more change.

Time to return things to the way they used to be.

"No," he said softly. "No practice today." He took his brother's hand. "We're doin' somt'in' different."

Leo didn't argue.

He slowed as they passed through the living room. Leo didn't even notice the shrine he had made.

They entered Splinter's old room. Leo never acknowledged the absence of doors or wall.

Big brother did notice the pile of mattresses.

"Raph?"

"Yer alone too much, Leo. Splinter was da one ta die not YOU, but yer da one leavin'. Ya've taken on too much, and it's takin' ya away from us."

"I have to." Leo looked so sad. "My responsibility."

"Maybe."

The old spark was back in Leo's eyes, weak, but there.

"Each day, we watch ya drift away. No more. It stops, NOW."

Did big brother look hopeful?

"We're gonna do dis tagether." He pulled his brother to the center of the nest he had made.

First Raph settled himself, between Mikey and Donnie, then he pulled Leo down to sit in his lap. Donnie started the movie. Mikey passed around bowls of food.

The movie started.

They cuddled close to each other, reaching out to reassure themselves they all were there.

Time stopped. Time moved forward. Time moved back.

They were four.

"What exactly is it we're going to do together, Raphie?" Leo whispered.

Mikey and Donnie leaned in, wanting to hear.

"Live, big brother. Live."

Thanks for reading