Disclaimer: Take a guess.
Apple Farm
The school bell rang shrilly. Slowly, and cautiously, students of Edoka High entered their classrooms. More than one of them kept looking left and right furtively, as if expecting to be attacked out of the blue. It wasn't until they reached their seats safely that they breathed a sigh of relief.
Keiko gave a light chuckle as she saw their teacher glance around suspiciously before assuming his seat as well. Everyone was on their guard today and for good reason. But their worries were for naught. Keiko glanced at the empty seat in front of her and raised her eyebrows in wonderment.
"Aoko," she said, "where's Kaito?"
A long-haired girl shook her head without remorse. "When I went to pick him up this morning, his butler said that he was sick today so he won't be coming in."
At this, there was a mix of cries; of joy and of disbelief. Kuroba Kaito, absent on April Fools Day? No one would believe it. But at least that meant their underwear, hair and various other belongings were safe from the magician today.
Everyone still remembered last year's April Fools when Kaito switched Takimura-sensei's toupee for a cat. They had spent the entire Math lesson trying to pull the frightened kitty from the frightened Takimura-sensei. It only served to prove that no one was safe from Kuroba Kaito during April Fools.
"I sort of pity him," said Keiko, drawing stares of incredulity from every direction. "No, seriously. I mean, April Fools is Kaito's favourite holiday. For him to be sick today…"
Suddenly, there was a loud bang as a girl from another class burst into the room, heaving and panting, gripping a roll of newspaper in her right hand as if her life depended on it. "Kaichou!" she exclaimed, addressing Keiko, who was the captain of the Kaito Kid fanclub in the school. "Urgent news, kaichou!"
Ignoring the spluttering teacher in front, the girl strode to Keiko and threw the roll of newspaper onto her table. There on the front page, in bold capital letters, read: KAITO KID RETIRING?!
KAITO KID RETIRING?!
By Konosuke Jii
We all know him by many names: International Criminal 1412, the Moonlight Magician, the Heisei Lupin (literally meaning the Arsene Lupin of the Heisei era), Kid the Phantom Thief and last but not least, Kaito KID.
Before this, I had only met with Kid during his much-publicised heists and even then, we barely exchanged glances as he scaled the night sky with his hang-glider. Imagine my surprise when he dropped into my home just yesterday, offering me the chance of a lifetime: a private interview with the elusive thief himself.
As we sat down, with some hot tea for me and chocolate ice-cream for my distinguished guest, he started small talk like any other person, but I soon realised that he wanted all this to be published. He wanted all the things we talked about to be revealed to the public and so now I present you with the first ever official interview with the Moonlight Magician himself.
So, how long have you been stealing? The police say you've been active for more than 10 years but you don't look a year above 19.
If you wanted me to tell you the secret of looking young, why didn't you just say so? SK-II all the way, Jii-san.
Very funny. Still, I'm curious, do you have any friends in the police force? After so many times confronting them, at least one of them must have been on your side, right?
Well, I'd love to call Nakamori-keibu my friend, but I think he'll really kill me if I did. I have plenty of detective friends though. Hakuba Suguru is one of my good friends when he's not trying to trick me into getting caught. I love hanging out with Ikumi Souda, as well. She's hot.
Any best friends?
Hmm…I would have to choose between Hakuba-kun and Tantei-kun.
Tantei-kun?
Oh, right. I haven't introduced him yet. His name is Edogawa Conan and he's probably my favourite detective to play with. Come to think of it, if this appears in the newspaper, he'll be reading this too, won't he? Hi, Tantei-kun!
I'm sorry. I'm quite familiar with both Hakuba-san and Ikumi-san but the name Edogawa Conan is new to me.
Yeah, not many people know of him. He doesn't like to stand out, after all. But he's solved some pretty big cases as well. Remember the little boy who stopped me from getting Suzuki Jirokichi's Blue Wonder? That was him.
At this, I thought I had heard wrong because he referred to his favourite detective as a little boy. But when I rewound the tape recording, Kid had indeed called Edogawa Conan a little boy. Perhaps Kaito Kid is older than we all imagine him to be.
Aside from that, how do you choose your targets? Is it true that your motto is: "The shinier, the better"?
No! Where did you get that from? The shinier, the better? That's what crows do, not me. Aa…I'm almost done with my ice-cream.
I would like to add here that Kid often took to referring to the police force as 'crows' or karasu.
Wait, before you leave, can I ask you what your plans for the future are?
The future? Forget the future, I'm retiring.
What?!
Yeah. I was planning to reveal that to some journalist but now that you know, you can do that for me, right?
But why? When?
Come to think of it…today, I think. I'm never going on a heist again. As to why…well, a certain important person of mine told me that I needed to do something more with my life other than messing with the pockets of rich people. And…I really treasure his words…
This important person…could it be that Edogawa person you were talking about?
The thief didn't answer my last question. Rather, he gave me a cheeky smile and jumped out of my second-storey window and disappeared. To those who doubt the authenticity of this interview or that Kid had really jumped into my home and ate my ice-cream, I've added a photo which Kid had allowed to take before we began our interview (refer to picture on the upper left).
I'm sure that I am not the only one who would feel regret over the abrupt end of Kid's much celebrated career all over the years. But I guess millionaires and the police force can now rest at ease since the Heisei Lupin will no longer haunt our night skies.
(picture on the upper left) photo of Kaito Kid in full white garb, posing with 'V' signs and a large grin next to the journalist, Konosuke Jii.
"What is the meaning of this?!"
Mouri Kogoro could not remember a time when his office was so crowded with angry people. He was already used to receiving Hattori Heiji, but Hakuba Suguru, Harufumi Mogi, Ikumi Souda and various other detectives, some who weren't even Japanese, were all new additions.
Each of the inflamed detectives was clutching a copy of the day's newspaper, headlines declaring that the moonlight magician, Kaito Kid was retiring. Needless to say, many questioned the truth to the article but police headquarters all over Japan had received notes from Kaito Kid, reading that: yes, I'm retiring. Would you take the hint already?
"Mouri-san, I demand that you let us speak to that little boy at once!" said Ikumi Souda, tossing her long ponytail over her shoulder angrily. Plenty of you might remember her as the Luminol Lady from the Sunset Mansion case.
"Yes, if it was he who convinced Kid to end his career, then he should be the one to ask Kid to snap out of it!" exclaimed Harufumi Mogi, also known as the guy with the Alfa Romeo car from the Sunset Mansion case. "Kid has been the target of all detectives around the world. For him to suddenly just retire is an insult to all of us!"
The many angry detectives behind him chorused in agreement.
As Mouri received the detectives as best as he could, Conan slipped out the building without anyone noticing. He really didn't want to deal with those detectives right now. It wasn't as if he could explain Kid's ludicrous declaration anyway.
But just as he thought he was safe, there was a loud yell. "Conan-kun!"
It was the Young Detective Group, running towards him as if he was the gold as the end of the rainbow. "Conan-kun, did you read the newspaper?" cried Ayumi.
"Kaito Kid…he…he…" said Mitsuhiko between pants.
"He acknowledged you!" finished Genta, pointing an accusing finger at Conan. "You've been trying to catch him behind our backs again, haven't you? It's not fair, you know! We're the Young Detective Group!"
"Yeah! You should let us help you!" goaded Mitsuhiko.
Conan wanted to explain that he had no part in Kid's outrageous comments on newspaper but then, he heard Ran calling out to him. "Conan-kun? Conan-kun, where are you? There're a lot of detectives looking for you!"
'I know! That's why I'm running!' thought Conan anxiously as he took off without explaining to his young friends. 'Stupid Kid. Why did he have to mention my name? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…'
"Shinichi, I was expecting you," said Professor Agasa from behind the computer. "After reading the news online, your parents have been calling me non-stop asking if you have been having secret affairs with Kaito Kid, or anything of the sort."
"Why?!" cried Conan angrily, throwing his book bag to the ground. "Everyone at school today was looking at me funny! I'm just like any other detective trying to reveal Kid's true face to the public. Why did he single me out?"
Haibara emerged from the bathroom nonchalantly, wiping her hands on the front of her small dress. "Perhaps you should take a closer look at the article. Kid insinuated that you are an important person to him, however indirect."
"He didn't do that!" insisted Conan hotly. "It's the stupid journalist! He twisted the words to make it sound like that. Now I have famous detectives – my heroes! – from all over the world waiting to blame me for retiring Kid before they got a chance to catch him! Even the high school girls have turned on me! They think that I stole Kid's attention from them!"
It was like sticking a pin into a large balloon. After that sudden outburst, Conan lost all his energy and fell backwards into the sofa. Haibara offered him a cup of coffee passively as she took the seat opposite him. "Do you feel better letting all that off your chest?"
Conan sipped the coffee and nodded. "A little," he said, resembling much more of his usual cool and composed self. He didn't speak after that; remained quiet for a long time. But still Haibara sat there, watching him, as if waiting for something. Then finally, Conan raised his eyes to hers. "Why did he retire?"
"You're worried, aren't you?" asked Haibara with an amused smirk.
The shrunken detective didn't reply but at that very moment, he once again adopted the whole-world-is-on-my-shoulders look that he was so good at. He hunched his shoulders and closed his eyes, looking defeated and yet contemplative.
"You should be doing more with your life."
"Eh?"
"Someone as brilliant and talented as you, I'm sure you would be much happier doing what you liked rather than chasing revenge."
"…I am doing what I like."
Had his words really coerced Kid into retiring?
That night, Conan fell into bed exhausted. The day earlier had been consumed with news, news and more news about Kaito Kid. There were five separate television channels discussing Kid's abrupt retirement and Conan was willing to bet that Kid was even all over CNN and BBC.
While some debated the true reason for his retirement, others gathered up information of all his previous heists bringing them into full light; rather like reviewing the achievements of a dead celebrity.
In addition to that, no one would let him alone. Everyone wanted to know why Kid would acknowledge a little boy, never mind the fact that he was a much unknown detective. The matter became so serious that paparazzi started stalking him towards the end to the day up till Mouri's office. Even then, it took some pretty impressive maneuvering on Conan's part to avoid the stubborn detectives who had stayed just to have a word with him.
Finally, with a tired, "I'm going to bed, Ran-neechan," he retired to his soft futon and nearly collapsed into unconsciousness right there. He didn't remember being this tired since…since…actually he's been feeling tired quite often nowadays. There was the on and off case, bomb attacks, the rare assassination here and there…
"What are you thinking about, Tantei-kun?"
Conan snapped up into a sitting position in his futon and glared at the ethereal figure in white crouching on the windowsill. The night wind blew his cloak out wide, giving the illusion that he was actually flying. That white top hat, the four-leaved clover monocle and that cheeky grin…
"I thought you retired," said Conan. Although his voice was at a deadpan, his eyes were burning.
Kid leapt off the windowsill and stepped into the room. He knelt down beside the shrunken detective and smirked. "Were you worried?" He immediately backed away when Conan cocked the tranquilising watch at him. After so many encounters together, he had adapted a reflex to that dangerous-looking watch.
"You sent the entire world of detectives to my doorstep. Do you want to tell me why?" said Conan softly.
Kid's smile darkened just a little bit. He could feel the anger emanating from the little boy in waves. He sighed and resumed his bright smile. "Because you praised me." He sat himself on the floor like an innocent child. "No one's ever praised me before."
Someone as brilliant and talented as you…
Conan looked up at him, naively surprised.
"I was telling the truth, you know," continued Kid. "You are important to me. I might not be to you, but that doesn't matter, does it? As a thief, I take all that I can get."
"But…I don't want you to retire."
There was a knock on the door. "Conan-kun." It was Ran. "Are you asleep yet? Hattori-san insists on seeing you."
Conan turned to the door, thinking of whether or not to reply. When he turned back to Kid, there was only cold air from the open window. Conan ran to the windowsill, barely catching the silhouette of Kid as he flew off.
He hardly knew how to define the relationship he had with the thief. They were rivals and yet, lovers. He loved the attention Kid gave to him compared to the other detectives and still, there was an insurmountable distance between them; the distance of being detective and thief, the distance of physical age, the distance of both not truly knowing who the other was…
Nevertheless, whenever they spoke, there were traces of love they had for one another. They were…Pandora; one gem within another.
Kuroba Kaito slowly peeled off his white suit, leaving them on the bed. There was a knock on the door and an elderly man entered to take the white suit to the laundry. The man's name was Konosuke Jii. He was a long-time servant of the Kuroba family and a published journalist.
"Jii-chan," said Kaito, "thanks for writing the article for me."
"Not at all, Kaito-bocchama," replied Jii. "But I hope you've done what you'd set out to do."
"Have I?" said Kaito in a faraway voice.
"What was that, Kaito-bocchama?"
"Nothing."
The next morning, Kid sent a notice to the rest of the world.
'By the way, the statement about me retiring – that was a joke. Happy April Fools.'
Tantei-kun, do you remember? The first time I met you, it was on April Fools.
