I originally typed this on my iPod during Hurricane Sandy, then forgot all about it. With a few tweaks, it became this! It's definitely different from what I'm used to writing, so I hope I did okay. Enjoy.


Um, Princess, would you like a cup of tea?

Oh, yes, please! Thank you, Anastasia. A cup of tea while I read would be wonderful.

I'll be back in a few minutes, Miss.

Drop the formalities, Anastasia! You may call me Zelda.

A-ah, okay then, Zelda. I'll be back in a few minutes, so stay put.

Alright then, thank you.

Finally, thank the goddesses she's gone.

… Who said that? Hello? … I must be hearing things.

Au contraire, Princess. You aren't hearing things. You're hearing me.

Who are you?

Silly, introductions are silly. Let's save them for later. Our focus right now is you, dear.

Me? For what reason?

Well, anytime you need some advice, someone to talk to, or whatever, I'm here for that. Call me… your fairy godmother, if you wish.

This is preposterous. I'm talking to a mere voice in my head. Certainly not even that; you're more likely to be a new knight recruit, and an immature one at that. So come on, now. Show yourself.

Oh, Princess, you still don't understand? I'm very much real, but not playing any sort of trick on you. Do… You… Un… Der… Stand…?

Quit speaking to me like a child! Okay, yes, I believe you. I understand. Are you happy?

U-um… Excuse me, Princess, your tea is prepared.

O-oh, erm… Anastasia, you caught me by surprise! How long have you been standing there?

Not very long. But if you don't mind me asking… Who were you talking to just now? You are the only one ever in the library.

Ah, nobody, nobody at all. Thank you for the tea. You are dismissed.

Okay, so back to where we were; yes, I'm very happy. Elated, even. And so, in return, I'll help you out.

How?

With what you need most, of course; popularity!

What on earth are you talking about? I happen to be very popular among the servants and villagers.

Ha, is that what you think, your highness?

It happens to be true. The villagers are always so nice, and my maids are so attentive.

Hm. Your adolescence never ceases to amaze me.

I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't need your help, so if you'll please go away now. I have a nice, lengthy book to read.

Ah, well. It was worth a try. I guess this means you don't want to know about all the gossip about you.

Gossip?

That seemed to get your attention, eh? Yes, gossip; all throughout the castle. Your maids and butlers do have a way with words.

What have they been saying?

Oh, you know, the usual.

The usual? Tell me, this instant!

Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a twist, dear. The usual; that means they're talking about how much of a spoiled brat you are. And how you're not fit to be the future queen. And how you're not even fit to be a princess.

What?! Are you sure?

I'm afraid so. Heard it myself.

Well, then. I'll fire them; I'll fire the whole lot of them! Tell me the names of these – these backstabbers!

All of them.

A-all of them?

Mmmhm. All of them. I tried to tell you, Princess. They all hate you.

I- Impossible… They're always so pleasant towards me…

Yeah, well, it's sort of their job. But that could all be in the past. This is where I come in; I'll teach you to be more loved, to make sure everybody is happy with you. All you need to do is listen to every single piece of advice I give you, okay? Every. Single. Piece.

… Okay. I'll do it.

Yay, what a happy day! Come on now; let's go to your room. I have a lot to teach you.


I don't really think it's working.

Give it some time, Princess. It's only been a few weeks. It's always darkest before dawn.

Yes, but I've started to notice changes of behavior from the servants, and even my father.

It's all part of the plan, though. Soon enough, they'll all love you!

… Well, if you say so.

Zelda, there you are! Supper is going to ready soon.

Oh, um, okay. Thank you, I'll be down in a moment.

Alright, but please hurry.

Hm, that was your husband, wasn't it? Lord Whatshisface? I would've gone for somebody more handsome, and pleasant. And younger; he looks like he's about twice your age.

Leave him alone. Our marriage was arranged to bring our countries together. It was a small price to pay for the alliance of our countries. Plus, he's proved to be a very caring father towards our daughter.

I see. Still, though. Didn't you use to see that hunky gentleman, um… Link! That was his name. Him. He was very attractive.

Link was in the past. I do not wish to speak of him.

Change of attitude, I see. I think I recall him leaving and marrying that girl from his hometown. I think he called her Illia.

Please! I don't want to talk about him! Leave me alone, now. I'm going to dinner.

As you wish, your highness.


Aww, is the wittle princess okay?

I don't know why I listened to you! You made my life horrible; everyone hates me now!

Silly, silly Zelda. Let me be frank; everyone hated you in the beginning. But let's not talk about this here; I think your balcony is more suitable. You need some fresh air.

I suppose you're right. A little fresh air couldn't hurt.

Much better, isn't it? But as I was saying; I told you before, everybody hated you from the start.

It's only now, though, that they behave this way towards me!

Do I have to explain everything? Hatred is easy to conceal, Princess. They've always loathed you; it's just that they're having a hard time hiding it, now.

… D- Did you set this up? Did you plan all of this?

Ha ha, you're a smart one, aren't you? At the same time, though, you're still so naïve. Didn't your parents tell you not to talk to strangers? Tsk tsk.

You don't know anything about me!

So it seems. Unbeknownst to you, though, I've been following you around since you were a mere toddler. I've just chosen to not say anything until now.

A stalker; that's what you are!

Maybe so, but I've been waiting for this day for ages.

What?

Don't you feel their glares? Don't they bore into your back? Don't you hear the whispering? Don't you understand that everybody despises you? That everybody hates your guts?

S- Stop! Please… Please, stop…

You're crying again. Just look at yourself. Your face is all blotchy, your hair is a mess. You were always so stunning, but take a good look at yourself now. Ugly, ugly, ugly. That's all I see.

Stop talking! Just… Just shut up!

Whatever you say, Princess. At least I'm not daddy's little disappointment, or the scar on the face of Hyrule. Nope, because that's you!

But don't be so hard on yourself. There's always a way to fix things, and I have just the solution!

Ah, you're interested aren't you? Well, think about it this way. What if you were one of the maids or butlers, or one of the peasants? What would you want somebody you strongly disliked to do, so they would be rid from your life?

Um… I don't know.

Hm, as always. Zelda, you want them to die. You want to kill them, or you want them to kill themselves! It's all very simple. Since nobody in their right mind would kill the princess, it's up to you. Do it, for the good of your people! Make them happy and joyful again!

K- Kill myself? That wouldn't possibly make anybody cheerful! What about my daughter? What is she going to do without a mother?

You said so yourself; your husband is a great parent. Do you actually do anything for her as a mother, though? Or is it just the maids doing your dirty work for you?

B- but… No… I couldn't just… leave her like… like that.

Of course you can! You can leave everybody behind! You can be happy, you can make others happy!

But-

Hush now, dear. It really is a win-win situation. Think about it; would anybody miss you? Shed tears for you? Oh please.

Oh, I can tell I've got you convinced. Now just listen to my instructions, and this'll all be over before you know it.

… Okay.

Let's start by climbing up on the ledge… That's it… Chin up, shoulders back. Stand up straight. You need to look dignified.

Let me have a moment to at least say goodbye to my family in my mind, okay?

I guess that would be alright.

Okay, are you ready now?

Yes.

Okay, so lean forward, spread your arms out… And…

Splat! Hehe.


I don't know. I really don't know where the idea for this came from. This could be interpreted more than one way, really. Zelda could be showing early signs of schizophrenia. But considering the "person" still talks after she dies, it could be some kind of spirit, or something. It's up to you.

Moral: Unless it's your own, never, ever, listen to voices in your head.

I hope you liked it, please tell me how I did in a review. Criticism is always accepted. See you.

-blacksunset1214