I should have posted this a few days ago but my schedule is really jam packed right now. So I had to wait until the weekend to get this done. Hope I'm not too late for the 4x07 feels party.
Killian was angry as he stomped through the forest, stepping over branches, wanting the trees and shrubs and all the other living things to see that he was furious.
All afternoon, they searched for Emma all over Storybrooke and they found no sign of her. They already split into groups asking people if they saw their sheriff. But she was nowhere. Of course, she was Emma. All those years of living on the run like a thief, of course, she knew how to cover her tracks and knowing that she learned from Baelfire, ensured her the anonymity of her location.
Kilian was angry. Angry because of how Swan's family reacted. They were her family. They shouldn't have acted that way. Indeed, Swan almost killed her father but she didn't mean to. She would never do that. Yet that look on her mother's eyes told him that she feared her own daughter, that she was mad at her.
He knew he couldn't blame but actually he could because he knew Swan would never do such a thing on purpose, because he knew that the couple had never seen Emma that much. It's true that they lived under the same house but were they living in the same home? Emma would never tell him but she didn't need to because he knew they weren't. Several times had he visited the Charmings and several times had he seen a sad look in Emma's eyes when she thought no one was looking. The way she looked at her mother carrying baby Neal in her arms with a smile that Emma would have received if it wasn't for the curse. The way she looked at her father played with baby Neal with a light in his eyes that Emma would never see when he looked at her.
Killian knew that look. He knew that look everywhere because he had seen that look countless times. It was the look of a Lost Boy. All his time in Neverland, that look haunted him. Not only did he see it on every Lost Boy Pan have but also when he looked on the mirror, those sad eyes looking back at him longing for something. He was so lost after he lost Liam and Milah. Darkness shadowed over the light that had once flared inside him. When he first met Emma, that flame sparked. It was a tiny spark nothing more, he told himself. But as they shared each other company, he knew that his fire had kindled once more. Even without her realizing, she brought him back. She found him. And now that she was lost deep inside the shadows of despair and rejection, he was going to pull her back.
He was going to find her.
It was dark and late. He already had an idea of where she went when she drove off. But he decided to keep it to himself when he remembered the fear Swan instilled in her family's heart. He knew she needed her family but now was not a good time to let them face her. So he waited until they gave up finding her for the day. Now here he was going through the forest. Alone. The forest was an ideal place. He knew because if it was him, he would have gone there too. The trail of wreckage he saw at one point also told him that he was in the right direction.
It was, roughly, almost midnight but Killian didn't mind. He knew he wouldn't sleep anyway knowing that Swan was out there, feeling alone and lost in the woods. So when he found her, his heart leaped and fell back to its place. He could see her sitting behind the wheel of her vessel they called a 'car'. His heart pounded in anxiety as he slowly walked careful not to send her the wrong message when she sees him.
He saw her visibly stiffen when he tapped on her window lightly. "Swan..."
She didn't answer yet he waited. He didn't want to rush things. He didn't to either because he had all the time in the world. If he had to wait, he would because he wanted Emma to see herself again.
"Emma, I..." he tried again when suddenly the engines roared. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second. Cold green eyes. Her walls were up, she looked cold but he knew behind those walls were the remains of a shattered heart and a lost soul waiting to be found. She turned the car towards the forest.
"Emma!" he shouted trying to block her way but she didn't stop.
She drove off. Bloody hell. Without thinking, he ran. He ran with fullest speed, trusting his legs would go as fast as it could. Hood thing the vessel was far too wide to fit between trees properly, slowing it down and giving him time to catch up.
"Emma, stop! Emma, stop the car!" he shouted as he used his good hand to pound on the vessel's door trying to get her attention even though he knew it would be fruitless.
"Emma! Please!"
He knew she was forcing herself to look forward. It would be hard to ask her to look back but he knew just the thing that would. He closed his eyes and braced himself for landing after his foot got caught with a stray root. He twisted his body for a safer landing. He groaned out in pain as he landed on his side. He lifted his head to look at the yellow vessel stopping a few meters away from him. Then he heard the sound of the vessel's door closing. He tried to hide the small smirk growing on his lips by standing up, wincing at the pain pulsing on his side. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see her boots. She wasn't moving. She wasn't going to help him nor was she going to approach him any further. It would have hurt his heart but it didn't, in fact, it made him feel happy. At least he had a chance to talk to her, to see her.
When he managed to stand up, he saw her standing there, her face pale like snow, her eyes frozen in shock. She looked terrified. Completely terrified. His chest tighened. He wanted to grab her and pull her into his beating chest and just protect her, shield her from all the monsters even if it meant protecting her from herself.
"Swan..." The moment her name rolled of his tongue, her green eyes shifted to him and she started to move, heading towards the direction of her car.
"Emma! Just hear me out!" he said, desperately hoping she would at least listen to what he had to say.
She did. She stopped in her tracks. She didn't turn around nor did she say anything. But it was enough. He knew she was giving him a chance.
"Look, I know what you saw. Your mother didn't mean to shout at you. She was just as surprised as everyone. Swan, I know what you felt. Like everyone sees you as a villain, as a monster. But, Swan, believe me you're not a monster..."
He wasn't even finished when he heard the sound of leaves crushing under a pair of boots. Her hand was already on the door handle, about to pull the door open.
Now, he was desperate, desperate for her to stay. Now, he was afraid, afraid of what would happen to her. Now, he was angry, angry at himself for not being able to stop her.
"Emma!"
She didn't stop. She opened the door and went in. Tears sprung to his eyes. His hands curled into a fist. His heart grew heavy. His eyes closed shut. With all he felt, all he thought, all he wanted to say to her, he shouted in a loud cry of plea.
"Emma! Come back! Come back to Storybrooke! Come back to Henry! Come back...," Tears were streaming down his face. His knees buckled under him causing him to lean against the tree beside him. With a soft wavering voice, he finished his statement. "To me..."
The sound of the door closing reached his ears. His vision looked blurred behind the tears in his eyes but he didn't miss the pause she made before she pulled the door shut and drove off. He wiped away his tears and blinked the tears out of his swollen eyes. Without wasting another second more, he stood up straight and started to go towards the direction to which she left.
Killian Jones was a man who never gave up. And he certainly wasn't going to give up now. Especially when he had made it this far. Especially when he had already won a part of her heart. And someday he would be a part of her. Finally. But for now...
I will find you. I will always find you.
Just had to use the Charmings' motto there and also end it there. Sorry, but it felt right. Because I don't think there would be closure on this matter right away. Knowing Emma, it would take time before everything went back to normal, even with Killian's help. So anyway. Please review and comment! I wanna know what you think. :D
