WARNING: AVENGERS: ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD!

Hello! Welcome to the angsty one-shots we all know we need after the soul crushing that was Endgame. The last scene with Cap really got me though, especially since I really ship Stucky. I feel like Bucky deserved better. This is his internal monologue/thoughts from the end scene with Cap and Sam. Enjoy and please comment!


I stand there, passive and mute. My spine rigid, muscles tensed, coiled like a spring. Even though I'm tense, part of me wants to laugh. Do you remember when the drill sergeants used to make us line up for inspection? Even though you were the great Steve Rodgers, you still looked so nervous, so unsure, as if they were going to yell at you for your gun not being clean or your hair being parted the wrong way. Now, you stand tall, strong, so sure of yourself.

God, that was so long ago. I miss it. I miss the war. Because it was so much simpler. Take out the Nazis, kill the enemy, but always together. Always as one. This new war separates us. You barely look at me, talk to me. The only time we're together is when we're leading troops into battle or talking strategy with the others, and I'd hardly call that interacting. When the team is planning, trying to get a step ahead, you always defer to Sam, asking for his advice. You spend your free time with him, and Natasha, or Thor, or Stark, but never me.

I may not have mechanical wings, be a Russian super spy, the god of thunder, or a billionaire-playboy-philanthropist, but I'm your friend. I'm your brother, through experiences, pain, blood. Doesn't that count for something?

You saved me from that camp. You trained me, protected me, the same way I had back in Brooklyn for you. All the memories of the time we spent together, flirting with girls, watching movies, picking fights, being best friends, inseparable, seem to evaporate the instant someone else walks into the room.

But I care about you too much to ever tell you any of this. Because as much as my heart aches, telling you would crush you. You're so loyal, protective, good, in the best sense of the word. For you, the mere thought you were neglecting a friend would tear you apart. So I'll bite my tongue when I want to scream your name, extinguish the hope in my heart that someday you'll suddenly realize I'm everything you ever needed.

But I thought being friends was a two-way street. So, please, forgive me when I say I feel betrayed. I take your feelings into consideration in every decision I make, but my name barely even crosses your mind anymore.

Because when you left through the machine to return the stones and came back old and wizened, I was blindsided. Even though a part of me knew you'd stay, grow old with her, I hoped you'd a least tell me. Or take me with you. But you didn't. It hurts, Steve. More than you could possibly know.

And Sam's right. We can't live in a world without Captain America. I agree Sam should take the mantel. But I wish you'd asked me, even though we both know I've hurt too many innocent people to even consider becoming Captain America. The only permission you asked for was a nod. I gave it to you, because you know I could never say no to you.

A small part of me hoped after this war was over, we could go back to being not Captain America and the Winter Soldier, but Steve and Bucky, the inseparable friends from Brooklyn. But even that was too much to ask. You gave your heart to Peggy and grew old with her. Now I'm cursed to live the rest of my life too old, yet too young, too vicious, yet too passive, forever the lone soldier. But that's not how the story's supposed to end.

When we fought on top of that helicarrier all those years ago, I was ready to complete my mission. Rid the world of Captain America. You stopped me.

You made a promise, and today you broke it.

You said you'd be with me until the end of the line.