A/N: WARNING! There will be M-rated content! So for all you young readers thinking of reading this, DON'T.
Disclaimer: You guys should know the drill, I don't own Naruto, but Kishimoto does.
For Uchiha Sasuke, being asked if he was gay was a surprisingly normal occurence. He always said no of course, but no one ever believed him.
For Uzumaki Naruto, being asked if he had a thing for Sasuke was, also, an average occurence. However, instead of calmly saying no, he would retrieve a long, hand-written essay from his pocket explaining in detail why he didn't like Sasuke that way. Or Sai. Or Gaara. Or guys in general. Something like:
My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I'm a healthy teenage boy! I will be future Hokage, and I like vagina. Here's why...
Yeah... Something along those lines...
I'm not gay. Seriously. When I say I like vagina, I mean it. Like, if a gay guy would come up to me and say: "Hey, let's fuck!" I would scream, loudly, and run away. But if a girl were to ask me that, whether she was butt ugly or not, I would tap that. Unless she was, well you know, old as fuck. I'm not being literal here, but I'm just trying to explain to you people how much I enjoy vagina. I've only ever done it once but lemme tell you-
By the time he would get that far into his essay, nobody would ask him if he was gay for the rest of the week, unless some random person who had yet to hear his response came up to him, which was rare.
It was very effective. He's been trying to convince Sasuke for months to try it, but his only reply to that would be a harsh glare and a: "Fuck off, Naruto."
...
...
...
Eventually, Sasuke wrote his own long, drawn-out explanation, nearly desperate to get people to stop asking.
When one afternoon, an ex-fangirl of his had asked him if he was gay, he calmly reached in his pocket and said:
I am Uchiha Sasuke. I'm a healthy teenage boy. I am the last Uchiha alive, and I am not gay. Vagina is an important thing to keep me healthy, and, unlike Naruto, I have had action in the bedroom more than once before. Or couch, or closet, or public bathroom, whatever is available at the time-
He never had to go past that line, nor did anyone ever want him to (mainly his fangirls, who would be so relieved they would nearly faint). And never again was he questioned of being gay.
As he passed by Ichiraku's, he saw a familiar blonde devouring what looked to be his tenth bowl of ramen. He patted him on the back.
"Thank's dweeb."
He grinned. "Told you so."
A/N: Well... April Fools Day everyone! For those of you who were actually expecting a yaoi fanfic, joke's on you! Never judge a fanfic by its summary.
*coughcough* I really haven't seen a prank fic on fanfiction... I hope someone out there found my sense of humor entertaining! I don't know if I should delete this after about a week or so buuuut... I'll leave it up to all you lovely reviewers.
Go ahead and flame, I'll admit I kinda deserve it X3
