My front door creaks, I should really oil the hinges but by the time I remember I just want to go to bed. There are plenty of other foibles of the cottage. They never really bothered me before but I seem to notice them more and more! The furniture is need of some care, there is a stain on one of the cushions of where I spilt tea ages ago. The arms of one of chairs is in need of some furniture polish. Truth be told I should really have bought something new. My sheets while not threadbare are not of the same thread-count as what she has usually experienced. My home is not ornate, my clothes even less so. I work with my hands, while I am not a farm laborer or mechanic I do use my hands. I try to keep them neat, I trim my nails so I don't catch my patients and I when I remember I try to rub thick lotions into them to combat the cracked skin.
My salary is honest and keeps me comfortable. Nonetheless, I can not provide her with jewels or bolts of silk for gowns. She had received a gift of flowers, in thanks and apology from Lord Merton. Truth be told it bothered me, while I know she would never be unfaithful it was the enormity of the bouquet that got me. This man had been able to spend a small fortune on a gesture of apology without it even making a dent in his pocketbook. We dined out a few weeks ago in Yorkshire in one of the most opulent restaurants. To do so I had to save up for months I had placed a jar in one of the cupboards and every time I passed it I would dig in my pocket and put in a half-crown.
She tells me that she doesn't mind and it is true, she doesn't. When I asked her to marry me at the fair she said yes. Even after the death of Matthew she still wanted to marry me. With what happiness she could muster she moved into the cottage and it became ours. I held her in this bed as she cried tears of mourning and anger. Her tears eventually dried. She gave me her body willingly and I have never betrayed that trust. I have pleasured in this bed with my hands, my body and my mouth. She gifts me with her sighs, her moans and whispered, "I love you"
She is currently laid out on the somewhat scratchy sheets, with my somewhat common art on the wall. Her cries of are of a woman voicing carnal delight. I can give her this, I can make her body flood with endorphins making her feel warm, boneless and high. I can make all the tension leave her body letting her have true peace of mind. She has told me that she loves this that she loves me. She craves this and she craves me. I delight in her pleasure and her body is always welcoming. She always holds me close, as if it is the first time. My hands roam over her flanks and if they are a tad rough she doesn't seem to mind.
She dined at the Abbey tonight, I didn't. I was at the hospital. I'm too old and set in my ways to be groomed into a gentleman. I'm a doctor! I was in my office when she came in wearing a gown that had been a gift from Mary. A gown that I would have to save for a lot longer than a month to afford. I watched as she slowly pulled at the tips of the finger of each glove before stripping it off. She did the same with her other hand pulling off the long silk glove revealing the wedding band I placed on her ring finger. With her hands bare she uses one to caress her own forearm. I swallowed at this for I know what she wants...what she needs.
I took a few seconds to sign off on the chart before I hung up my white coat and took her home. It was from there that she shucked off her dress and claimed her space on our bed. I'm still amazed that she lets me do this, that she gives herself to me. I kiss her down her midline and when I reach my destination her hands fist in my hair. I can feel her thighs tense and redouble my efforts. She breaks and her cries echo off the walls and I love it. I can give her this! Her hands are grasping at my shoulders wanting me to move and I oblige. She pulls me down for a kiss before she pulls me even closer with her legs around my waist. She whispers that she loves me.
She gives me this, she grants me this. Her love and her body are something that I never thought I would have. With these gifts this cottage is a palace and I feel rich.
