"Wait up, Greg!" Wirt hollered. He could already see the tea kettle receding over the horizon, sun glinting through the metal. Wirt groaned, speeding up to catch up. That kid. The littlest thing could divert his attention-this time it had been a woodpecker that Greg was absolutely sure had made eye contact with him, meaning, of course, that they were destined to be best friends.
"A sign!" he was shouting to Wirt now, apparently having stopped his pursuit to wait for his older brother, a rare but welcome break.
"A sign of what?" Wirt called. Probably a sign of Greg and the woodpecker's everlasting friendship. "Greg, most birds can't talk, I'm sure the woodpecker just wants to get back to his… bird… family… without getting bugged by some-"
"A falls sign!"
"Wha-?" Wirt finally edged up the hill far enough to see Greg and a billboard. Great. A tourist town. "Gravity Falls is the name of the town, Greg," he said after reading it. "They must have a waterfall or something. Probably a lot of mosquitos and tourists."
"And woodpeckers!"
"Yeah. And woodpeckers," Wirt acknowledged. Greg's best friend was hammering his beak into the billboard wood like there was no tomorrow, so Greg was already proven correct.
"Do woodpeckers get along with frogs?"
"I, I dunno, Greg. I think some birds eat tadpoles, but Jason Funderburker is way too old to even fit in its mouth. And a woodpecker mostly eats bugs in trees, right? They have those huge tongues that wrap behind their skulls to cushion the impact when they drill into the bark, and then they use those to fish out some kind of insects. I've never heard of one being in marshland, but it's not like I'm an expert. Do woodpeckers and frogs even share a climate? How, how far away from home do you think we are, Greg?" Wirt rambled a while as Greg shimmied up the billboard to get closer to the bird, pulling Jason Funderburker from under his teapot as a means of introducing the two.
Greg made an "I dunno" sound. "If they're friends, woodpeckers and frogs share everything, because sharing is caring," he said happily. "That's a frog fact."
Wirt gave him a grateful look. He wasn't particularly enlightened by Greg's stream of made-up facts, but they made him remember the Rock Facts Rock they'd left in Mrs. Daniels' garden. And how Greg almost hadn't had the chance to do so. He almost wanted to do something sappy, but the moment quickly slipped away as Greg did, right off the billboard.
"Greg!" Wirt shouted, sprinting forward, but Greg picked himself up like it was nothing and gave the okay sign.
"I'm right as rain, brother o' mine!"
Wirt laughed shakily in relief, running a hand through his hair and dislodging his hat. "Yeah… yeah. Don't scare me like that!"
Greg frowned. "It's not like it would hurt."
"You don't know that. You were really high up!"
"I do so know that!" Greg argued, meandering away from the billboard down the highway, further into town. "I just tested it! Scientifically!"
"That's not what science is."
Jason Funderburker hopped at their heels, croaking.
"See? It's two against one, Wirt!"
"Frogs don't get a vote."
"Do so!"
Wirt stooped to pick up the frog, who croaked again. "Oh, whoop, he just changed his mind. He says I'm right."
Greg stopped short, his expression stricken with betrayal. "Jason Funderburker, how could you?!"
Wirt laughed, dropping the frog on Greg's tea kettle as the two of them wandered deeper into Gravity Falls, disappearing unnoticed into the early morning mist.
The town wasn't big. They'd been through dozens of towns just like it, or very similar, anyway. It was a picturesque little place surrounded and invaded by woods that had Wirt murmuring things like, "From the beginning to the end, an army of treetops invades my senses, an ouroboros of arboreal infinities." That, in turn, led to a small lecture on what an "ouroboros" was, and then a heated argument between the siblings over whether a snake could truly eat itself. (Wirt maintained that no, it could swallow partway before it would be too full and couldn't fit, and anyway what kind of real snake would eat itself; while Greg focused on whether a snake biting its tail could be used as a wheel on a bicycle if necessary.)
From a hilly outcrop the two boys could see the Falls for which the town got its name, as well as a sprawling cliff that Greg said looked like a UFO had crashed into it, though Wirt told him that was patently ridiculous. A water tower with a muffin on it got Greg's attention and they spent an hour climbing it and enjoying the view.
From the top, Greg waved enthusiastically down to the few people who were up so early in the morning. "Hey, do you think any of them have a phone?" he asked Wirt.
"Probably," Wirt said. It was weird being so high up without feeling the wind tousling his hair; he thought about that, dangling his fingers down over the guardrail. "Why?"
"Because you kept wanting to find one before and you haven't got one yet."
It took Wirt a second to realize what Greg meant. "In Pottsfield? That was different, Greg. I'm pretty sure they don't have phones in the Unknown."
"But they do in Gravity Falls?"
"Yeah. They're not much use to us now, though."
Greg nodded wisely, rubbing his chin. "Because phone booths cost a quarter, and I threw out our cents."
Wirt opened his mouth but rethought his response, finally saying, "Something like that."
"Maybe we'll find some loose change!"
"Maybe." Wirt readjusted his hat, then grabbed the ladder, swinging down over it. "Hey, I think I saw a bear in the woods. Wanna go check that out?"
"Local wildlife!" Greg said excitedly, clambering through Wirt and down the ladder. "Let's go let's go! Maybe the bear knows the woodpecker and they can get us in good with the secret forest animal club and..." His voice faded as he went down.
Wirt laughed and followed him. "Wait! Wait up, Greg!"
But Greg was gone by the time Wirt reached the ground. "Not again," he groused to himself, spinning around and scanning the horizon line for a kettle. Wirt huffed, but headed in the direction he'd seen the bear.
Following Greg around was a full-time job, Wirt decided as he went above the treetops to look around and saw only dense foliage. He should be fairly compensated. When they were able to talk again, Wirt decided he'd ask his mom for babysitting money. Paid retroactively. On special nights where his parents went out and he'd gotten stuck watching Greg, he got about three bucks an hour. And if they'd been in the Unknown for, say, a week and a half… and he spent about half that time actually watching Greg… Not to mention all this time since they'd gotten back from the Unknown… Wirt was so focused on his mental calculations that he didn't notice Greg til he'd nearly walked right through him.
"It's the bear!" Greg told Wirt as though they hadn't separated at all. Wirt looked where Greg pointed. And nearly jumped out of his skin.
"What, wha, what, what's wrong with it?!"
One of the bear's many heads lifted to sniff the air curiously.
"Nothing," said Greg. "It's a good bear." And he made as if to go pet it.
"Greg," Wirt said in a harsh whisper. "Don't!"
Greg's had hovered over the bear's pelt, the fur rising to nearly meet the surface of his palm.
And then the bear said, "Who's there?" in a deep rumbling voice, and Wirt shouted, "Running now!" and didn't wait for Greg to follow until he had scrambled a few hundred feet away.
Greg said "Goodbye, mister bear!" and followed Wirt, saying, "Run, run, run!" as if they were playing a game. Wirt turned and kept sprinting until they were spat out of the forest and back onto the outskirts of Gravity Falls.
Greg laughed, not out of breath at all. Wirt tried to scold him, but found that he was laughing too. "Wha, haha, what was that thing?!"
"It was a bear!"
"Yeah, but we haven't seen anything like that since, y'know, since we left the Unknown!" Wirt slowly stopped laughing and frowned at the forest. "What was with all those heads? Was it mutated or something?"
"I think," Greg said with a smile, "Gravity Falls is full of magic."
Wirt shook his head but smiled back. "Yeah, okay, Greg."
"And mystery!"
"Mhmm."
"So I'm gonna go in and see." Greg eyed the huge building they were next to, dazzled by the arrows and signs proclaiming the greatest mysteries of the world being held inside.
"Alright." Wirt stared at the treeline. "Wait. Go in where?"
When he turned his head, Greg was already running into the Mystery Shack.
