A/N: I am SO sorry I took so long to get this done and posted! I started this two days after the finale, but I was away with family for a week and this just ended up sitting untouched on my harddrive until after I got home and was healthy enough to get back to writing. That said, this is just meant to be a one-off, and mostly just what I imagined because I wanted somehow use Lifehouse's 'Everything' in the aftermath of Ezra being shot. That said...
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Not a single thing. Lifehouse owns their song, along with their respective label, producers, copyright banks, ect. And of course ABC Family and Disney own PLL and all their respective characters. I claim no rights or association in any sort. I just like to play with their characters and always return them (mostly) unharmed. :)
Between Heartbeats
Aria is beyond exhausted when she drops into the chair next to Ezra's bed for the fourth time this week. She's had to make some ridiculous moves in order to make her schedule work around being able to see him. Even more so, she knows she should stay away because getting caught her could get her into some serious trouble...but she can't.
She pulls the chair further forward next to him and pulls her legs up into it, grateful for her small frame allowing her to fit into the space. She reaches out and grabs his hand, curling her fingers in underneath his hand. She hates how cold they are.
"Hey," she whispers softly, reaching her free hand up to his forehead. She brushes her fingers through his fringe, moving them through his hair. "I'm sorry I only get here at night."
Ezra is unmoving, and Aria chews the inside of her lip as she watches him breathing in and out with the aid of the respirator. It makes reality far too clear when she stares at the plastic tubing. She'd rather believe that miracles do happen, because she believes now that he loves her, and he always has.
She's wanted to hate him for a while now. Every moment spent conscious is a moment she spends wishing she could just forget how she's felt about him for the last two years. But every time she tries, she's reminded of what he did. She hates it. And sometimes, she hates him. But never enough to walk away.
"I talked to Alison today," Aria murmurs softly as she brushes her thumb back and forth over Ezra's forehead. There's a knot so tight in her throat that it hurts. She just wants him to open his eyes and look at her. She really doesn't care what he says after he does, but she wants to know that he's going to live. She wants to see his cerulean orbs look back at her, and hear him speak. She doesn't care if he tells her he hates her or if he looks at her like she's evil. Anything is better than this.
"She was telling me about the day she met you." Aria paused, chuckling lightly at herself. "She told me the whole story about Tender In The Night. All I could think about when she was telling me that story was that night we stayed up until 4 AM arguing over Dorian Grey. It was so stupid, but you were so insistent about the plot."
Aria's phone buzzes in her pocket with determined attention. Her service is terrible with all the interference, but she's tuned into the hospital's limited WiFi, which at least lets her texts through, and Ella is determined.
Aria sighs, pulling the phone from her pocket and looking at the messages. They are all from her mother. She's not surprised. A lot of red flags went up when the cops found her crying beside her english teacher, who was bleeding to death, and her supposed-to-be-dead best friend. Her phone buzzes again and she sighs, looking around the room. If she leaves the ICU, she'll have to find a way to sneak back in, and that's a problem to begin with, when she tells them that she's his wife and she barely passes for the 21 she's insisting she is to the doctors.
She pushes up out of her chair and peers out of the room at the nurses station. It's nearly eleven, so there are only two nurses on call on the floor at the moment, and they're both away from the desk at the moment. Aria glances around the area, and then spots a fire exit at the end of the hall. She glances back the other way where she's sure she hears the voices of the nurses talking to patients. After a beat, she makes a run for the fire exit. She shoves the door open and then steps outside before pulling her phone out again and checks for service. Two bars. Not great, but it'll do.
She types out a quick text message to Hanna and then waits for a response. A moment later, her phone rings. She answers it and lifts it to her ear.
"What're you doing?" Hanna asks.
"I'm busy," Aria says dismissively. "Look, I told my mom I'm at your place, so just...pretend you're over my shoulder."
"Okay?" Hanna questions.
Aria opens a new line and calls Ella before returning to her call with Hanna.
"Are you still there?" Aria asks.
"Yep." The ringing of Aria's call to her mother continues, and a beat passes. Finally, Ella picks up.
"Aria?"
"Mom," she greets in the best cheerful tone she can manage. "Sorry, Hanna and I got caught up making these vegan cookies-"
"There's flour everywhere," Hanna comments in her best attempt at faking conversation. Aria chuckles nervously.
"S-so, what's going on?" Aria asks.
"Nothing," Ella responds. "Are you planning to come home tonight?"
"Yeah. I just need a little longer. I'll be there before curfew." Aria insists. Curfew is one thirty, so she's still got time. The line is silent for a moment. "Mom? You still there?"
"Yes," Ella says finally. "Just don't be too late. And call me when you leave. I'll stay on the line with you until you get home."
"Okay."
Aria ends the call a few moments later and then texts Hanna a thank you before she pops her head inside the door of the fire escape, listening for noise. After a few seconds, she stepped inside the building and rushed down the hall as quietly as she could, which really wasn't at all. Running in leather boots usually didn't aid much in staying quiet. By the time she reached the nurses station, a phone was ringing, so she stepped inside Ezra's room and rushed over to the chair next to his bed, sitting back down next to him. Instinctively, she reaches up and grabs his hand again and stares at him. But seconds turn to minutes, and there's still no movement.
Aria gulps past a thick knot in her throat, biting hard on her bottom lip because she doesn't want to cry. She's cried so much in the past few weeks that she's sure any day now, she's just going to dry up.
In the silence, all she can hear is the continuous beep of the monitor reading his heart rate, and she hates that sound more than she hates anything else.
Aria digs into her jacket and pulls out her phone. She turns it on and scrolls through her apps until she finds her notes, and she opens them. She opens the last one she made, from the night before.
"I wrote this thing," she says softly as she glances up at Ezra. There's no movement aside from his chest with every inhaled and exhaled breath. "It's-...w-well I..." She bites down on the inside of her lips, trying to piece together the right sentence. Tears fill her eyes. "I keep reading 'B-26', and I can't stop thinking about it when I'm not. I tried to write something in response, but I don't think it's finished. I want to read it to you, though."
She pauses, as though she expects him to respond, or at least open his eyes. But of course, he doesn't.
Aria glances back down at her phone and clears her throat, beginning to speak. "Find me here, and speak to me. I want to feel you; I need to hear you. You are the light that's leading me..." Her voice shakes, trailing off as she stares at the words for a few moments. They feel too real because she wants him to be more than a light for her. She wants him to be...everything. Aria clears her throat and begins to speak again.
"To the place, where I find peace again.
"You are the strength that keeps me walking. You are the hope that keeps me trusting. You are the light to my soul. You are my purpose; you're everything. So how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?"
Aria returns her phone to her pocket and pulls her hand from Ezra's, lifting both of them to her face. The knot in her throat is tighter-so tight in fact, it hurts to breathe-but she can't stop the tears. She doesn't know how to stop crying for him when she loves him so much. Needs him so much. There's so much she wants to tell him, and she just wants him to look at her when she does. But he won't.
.,.
Aria hates to the night. Nothing good ever happens then, and she almost never sleeps anymore. Every time 'A' makes things worse, it's nighttime. She cries the most at nighttime, too, because that's when she can't keep herself busy doing other things.
She cries because she's angry at him, and because she wants go back to that day at Snookers and have never met him. She wants to erase every moment they had, knowing that it was all for his personal gain...at least in the beginning. Because then she thinks about how if he hadn't been there that night on the roof, she would probably be dead, and someone who's only in a situation for personal gain wouldn't step in front of a gun for someone they didn't care about. And then she thinks about the amount of love someone has to have to do that for someone else...and it makes her heart hurt so much that she's pretty sure it can't be broken any more, because there's no way there's anything left to it. Her heart is so broken that she's sure it can't be pieced together again. She's just damaged like this, for good.
The mornings are a little better. Granted, Ella has been watching her like a hawk, insisting that she stay at her apartment full time because she refuses to go back to Vienna until she's sure that Aria is one hundred percent safe, and that's definitely not going to happen when Ella knows Ezra's in a coma after having been shot.
The days she spends in school are the easiest. She makes herself focus so much on the work that there's no time to think about where Ezra is or what shape he's in. She's been so insistent with her tunnel-vision attention to her school work that she more caught up on it that she has been since Mona started stalking her and her friends the September before last. It's kind of funny too, because it makes her look put-together, and she's anything but.
When school ends, she heads for Philadelphia. As far as Hanna and Emily know, she's with her parents. Spencer's parents have her on such a strict timeframe now that she almost never sees the taller female anymore. And when she needs a good cover story, her friends are always there to give the right answers, no questions asked.
As she steps into the ICU at Temple University, Aria stops inside the waiting room. She's got a shortened day, so she's taking the afternoon to see Ezra before she has to get back to the city.
The funny thing is, she always has a silent hope and prayer that maybe Dianne or Wes will show up, or even Ezra's father whom she's never met. She just wants someone else to care as much about his well-being as she does. But she knows for a fact that Dianne has been told that Ezra is in the hospital, and the woman has yet to turn up. Whether or not she's told Wes, Aria doesn't know, but she doesn't feel it's her place.
And really, what could she say if she did? Hey, sorry we haven't spoken since you tried to kiss me, but your brother is in the ICU in Philadelphia because I got him shot? She doesn't really think that'll go over well.
"Aria?"
She glances up from the cocoa machine at the sound of her face and glances in the direction of the voice calling her name. When she spots, him, she has to do a double-take, because he looks nothing like the last time she saw him. His hair s groan out and he looks like he hasn't shaved in a few days, let alone slept.
"Hardy?"
He glances down at his watch and looks at her a bit perplexed. "I-...Isn't it a bit...early for you to be here?"
Aria rolls her eyes. "Short day. I took the train in. How do you even know about...being here?"
Hardy walks over to the coffee machine next to where she got herself cocoa and fills himself a new cup. "I just found out last night. I guess they called for his records from Rosewood, and I was the only contact in there. I tried to come in sooner, but I was on this case, and my boss wouldn't let me leave..." He pauses and shakes his head, blinking wearily as he moves to add sugar and half and half to his coffee. "Anyway, I just got in a little while ago, but it's nap time."
Aria would laugh, but she doesn't have the energy. Technically they refer to it as 'quiet time', but she knows Hardy is referring to the two hours after lunch intended for resting on the floor.
She glances towards the clock. "It should've ended a bit ago. You should go back."
"Are you sure?" He asks. "I took a few days off, so I can wait another ten minutes..."
Aria is surprised by his offer, but she shakes her head. Even if Hardy so clearly doesn't know about everything that's going on with her and Ezra, he should see the current situation for himself. "Go on ahead. I'll wait a bit."
Hardy checks the time himself and then glances at her once more skeptically, before he walks past her and heads for the locked double doors. Aria walks over to a chair and sits down before pulling out her phone to entertain herself in the moment.
.,.
When Hardy returns from Ezra's room, his face is white, and he looks like he's going to be sick. He walks slowly over to Aria and then drops down into the seat next to hers. Aria can see his hands shaking.
"Th-they didn't tell me what h-happened," he explains. "O-on the phone. They j-just said to c-come. I j-...I never even..." He looks up at her slack-jawwed, at a complete loss for words. But the look in his eyes, for all their worry and heartache-calms Aria. Because for the first time since she watched Ezra's eyes close on that Philadelphia rooftop, she know someone else cares just as much as she does about whether he wakes up.
She reaches out and squeezes Hardy's hand gently, unsure of what else to do. She hopes that's the right thing to do, because she's really not sure.
"Do you know how this happened?" Hardy asks he manages to pull whatever he can of himself together.
Aria shakes her head before she really even thinks about the question, and she's grateful for it. If she has to think about it, he'll question why, and she's better off saying nothing at all than trying to explain why she doesn't have an answer.
"How'd you know he was here then?" Hardy asks.
"Someone answered his phone," Aria lies. "I kept calling the night it happened."
Whether or not Hardy believes her, she doesn't care. He's better off just leaving it alone, because the last thing she needs is for someone else's life to be put in jeopardy.
Aria stands and walks across the room as though she's going to watch the TV. She's not, but she wants Hardy to think she's distracted lest he keep asking questions.
She spends the afternoon between Ezra's room and the waiting room, wishing desperately every time she steps into the room that this time something will have changed, and he'll be trying to wake up. But nothing ever changes.
When the sun starts setting, Hardy suggests that they go down and get something from the food court. As much as Aria doesn't want to leave Ezra, she goes anyway because she hasn't eaten since the day before, and ever since Ezra was shot, she's barely managed to get food in, period. She just hasn't had the stomach for it in the midst of all her fear and panicking.
Dinner is just being finished, so they each pick over the options before settling at a table. Aria doesn't really want to talk about the current circumstances, so she asks Hardy about his job. He seems to be grateful for the light conversation and sets off on a tangent explaining all he's doing in law school.
When they're finished, Hardy heads out in search of a hotel while Aria heads back up to the ICU. She heads back to Ezra's room instead of going to the waiting room, and settles into the same chair she's spent the last week in. She curls her legs up under herself, watching as his chest rises and falls with each breath. As far as she knows, he's breathing pretty well on his own now, but when he came in after the shooting, his oxygen levels were low.
For a while she just sits there, rubbing her thumb back and forth over the back of his hand, below his IV. And then there's a moment, in between the beeping of the monitor, where she thinks she feels his fingers twitch against her palm. Aria jerks forward, looking back and forth between his fingers resting over her palm, and up at him, as though she'll catch the slightest movement if she just pays attention long enough.
"Ezra, please," she pleads softly, squeezing his hand gently. "I need you. I need you to wake up..."
Of course, he doesn't, and her heart just sinks. Her bottom lip trembles and tears fill her eyes, and she leans forward, laying her head down over his forearm. She lays there for a moment with her eyes closed, praying silently with everything within herself that he'll wake up and be okay. She'll give anything; do anything...
She knows she falls asleep there, because the next thing she remembers is the feeling of fingers digging gently into her shoulder, trying to coax her awake. She's weary, but she lifts her head slowly, and her eyes meet Hardy's.
"Hmm?"
"It's late," he whispers just loud enough for her to hear her. "I'm sure you've got people wondering where you are."
Aria yawns and moves out of the chair, stepping past Hardy as she pulls her phone from her pocket. It's past midnight, and God only knows how many missed calls she has.
"How long are you staying?" She asks as she leans by the doorway.
Hardy shrugs, though his gaze never leaves Ezra. "A few days; probably up through the weekend. If he's not awake by then..." His voice trails off, but Aria doesn't need him to finish the sentence to know what he's saying. She gets it just find without the words actually being said.
Finally, Hardy glances up at her. "Are you coming by here tomorrow?"
"I'm here every day," Aria tells him. Hardy nods and then looks back down at Ezra.
They exchange a few more words, and then Aria heads out. Once she's out of the hospital, she has to run to the train station to make the next train, lest she be stuck waiting for another hour to get home.
When she reaches the station, she's out of breath and tapping her foot nervously as she waits for the man in the booth to print her ticket, but it seems as though he's holding up the train she's waiting on when she gets outside. There are only two other people on the train, and they're both otherwise distracted, not paying any mind to her. So Aria hands over her ticket and then takes a seat and settles in for the trip back to Rosewood.
The trip is short, but it's too bumpy for her to fall back asleep. So instead she takes the time to listen to her missed calls. She's got four missed calls from each of her friends telling her that they're meeting up to discuss new information. She'll have to text them in the morning for the details because she's also got five missed calls from Ella and four from Byron wondering where she is. Each message is increasingly more angered too, which likely means she's in for it when she gets home.
When the train pulls into the station just outside of Rosewood, she all but runs to her car, for a couple of reasons. One, because she's probably in a world of trouble, and two, because she's terrified A is going to pluck her off at a moment's notice.
Once inside her car, Aria peels out of the train station like she's racing against the clock-and really, isn't she? As she drove, her phon started ringing again, but it was tucked in her back pocket, so she left it to ring. She reaches Ella's apartment a few minutes later and pulls into the open parking space next to her mom's car before getting out. As she does, her phone starts ringing yet again in her pocket.
She pulls her phone from her pocket, and while she's mildly grateful to see that it's Hanna and not one of her parents, she knows it's not really the time to talk. Even so, she answers the call and lifts it to her ear.
"Whats up?" She asks as she shoves the door open to the apartment building. "I'm about to get my head ripped off by Ella so I've got like, a minute."
"Where were you? Em and Ali were here. The police found Ali's mom." Hanna replies.
Aria sighs. "I was in Philadelphia for the day. I went to talk to the owner of that club."
"I thought we were gonna go this weekend," Hanna says.
Aria exhales heavily, shaking her head. She's been lying more these days than she ever has before. Something tells her if Alison ever found out, she'd be in for one hell of a lecture about the trouble it could get her into. "Well, he wasn't there anyway, so it doesn't matter. I'm literally standing outside my mom's door so I have to go."
"Alright. Call me later," Hanna replies before Aria ends the call and tucks her phone back into her pocket and flips through her keys until she finds the key to Ella's apartment. Before she can get the key into the lock though, the door opens and the look on Ella's face as the older woman stands in front of her tells Aria everything she needed to know. She steps past Ella into the apartment and tosses her keys into the bowl next to the door, brushing a hand through her hair as she walks over to the couch.
"Do you want to tell me where the hell you've been all night?" It comes out as a question, but Aria knows she's furious.
Aria sighs again, dropping down onto the couch. "I was in Philadelphia."
Ella glares at her. "Aria!"
"Mom-"
"Don't, Aria," Ella growls. "Just don't."
Aria rolls her eyes, leaning into the couch even more so. She can already tell this is going to turn into a serious fight.
"Does it not bother you at all that both myself and your father spent the better half of this evening worrying about where you were and whether you were okay?!"
Aria huffs, shaking her head. "I was at the hospital the whole day mom! I fell asleep."
"Aria, it's not even the issue of you being at the hospital, but the fact that you're sitting at the bedside of the very same person who drove you into a partying and drinking binge two weeks ago-"
"I was upset!" Aria argues back. "We- he-...UGH!" She shoves herself up off the couch and storms down the hallway into the spare bedroom, slamming the door shut before Ella can follow her in. She drops down onto the bed and grabs her headphones off the bedside table before plugging them into her phone and turning on her music.
When Ella doesn't immediately come in to yell at her, Aria kicks her shoes off and crawls beneath the blankets on the bed.
.,.
When Aria wakes up the next morning, the sun is glaring into the bedroom. She shoves the blankets off herself and then moves off the bed and walks out of the bedroom into the bathroom. She kicks off her jeans and sighs dramatically at the relief from being restricted in them all night.
After using the facilities, she returns to the bedroom long enough to find a pair of yoga pant to slip into before she walks into the kitchen. She finds Ella sitting at the table, looking over the newspaper while she sips her coffee. Ella glances up at her as she walks in the room.
"What time is it?" Aria asks as she walks towards the fridge.
"A bit after nine," Ella replies. Aria glances back at her mother, surprised.
"I called in for you early this morning," Ella told her. "We need to talk."
Aria grabs a bowl of mixed fruit from the fridge and the iced coffee Ella must've shoved in there for her earlier before she heads over to the table. She sits down in the chair across from Ella's, curling a leg up under herself. "What's up?"
"I'd like to discuss last night without arguing with you," Ella tells her. "And I'd like to be on common ground and understand what's going on here."
Aria inhales a deep breath, tossing a few pieces of strawberry into her mouth. She chews and swallows them before speaking. "I went to see him because..." She pauses, shaking her head at herself. "I feel guilty."
"Why?" Ella asks. "What do you have to feel guilty about?"
Aria chews her bottom lip, shaking her head continuously. Tears burn her eyes. "He was trying to protect me. All of us, really."
Ella's brow furrows, and Aria knows she's only making her mother more confused. She stares down at the table with a perplexed expression, trying how to best explain the safest and easiest version of the truth.
"Is it Mona?"Ella asks. "Is she hurting you girls again? D-does she have a gun?"
Aria quickly looks up at Ella, shaking her head wildly. "No, mom." She refrains from commenting that she wishes it was Mona. Mona did a lot of things but she never shot any of them.
"So it's someone else," Ella surmises. After a moment, she speaks again. "Do you know who?"
Aria doesn't respond.
"Why wouldn't you tell me about this, Aria!?" Ella questions demandingly. "I never would've gone to Vienna knowing-"
"I wanted you to go to Vienna," Aria argues, looking back up at Ella. "You're safe there!"
"And what about you?" Ella responds. "Your parents should just leave you behind to be thrown to the wolves for scraps? You're still a child, Aria!"
Aria rolls her eyes, feeling angry tears fill her eyes. "I'm almost eighteen mom, and I've been looking after myself for a lot longer than the few minutes you've been in Austria." She shoots up from the table with her coffee and fruit and turns on her heel, not bothering to turn around when Ella yells after her.
"Aria, come back here!"
"No!"She growls from the end of the hall as she steps into her bedroom. Aria glares at Ella. "I'm taking my things and leaving!"
Aria slams the door shut behind her and shoves the bedside table up in front of it before digging through her bags on the floor for a clean pair of pants and a top. She tosses them up onto the bed and then removes the clothes she's wearing before pulling on the outfit she picked out-a pair of faux-leather black pants and a long-waisted jersey-knit top. She tops it off with a jean jacket and then grabs a pair of ankle booties from the floor along with a pair of socks out of her bag before pulling them on. She grabs her phone from where its still plugged in to the charger and tucks it into her jacket before picking up her bags from the floor along with her discarded clothes before she grabs a few other things-discarded notebooks, her phone charger and headphones-and tosses the bags over her shoulder before moving the bedside table back to it's spot. She grabs her breakfast and then heads out of the room and down the hall to the front door. If Ella has had any thought of trying to stop Aria from leaving, she doesn't act on it, and Aria exits the apartment without another word.
.,.
Aria drives to Philadelphia instead of taking the train, if for nothing more than the leisure that she has to think about everything. She knows that the fight she'd had with Ella is nowhere near finished, and will likely continue the next time she sees her mother, but there's not much she can do about it. She isn't willing to put her family in harms way when she doesn't even know why this particular 'A' wants to hurt her and her friends.
When she reaches the city, she stops off to get decently-flavored coffee and then heads up to the hospital. When she arrives, she bumps into Hardy in the lobby just as he's finishing up a phone call.
"Work?" Aria asks.
Hardy nods, tucking his phone back into his pocket. "I've been gone twenty-four hours and I'm already getting calls to come back."
Aria raises an eyebrow at Hardy as she sips from her coffee. "Is the man not capable of holding his one briefcase?"
Hardy laughs haughtily, shaking his head. "You wouldn't think so if you ever met the man. And honestly, I'd probably hate it too, but..."He pauses, stretching dramatically. "The money is so good."
Aria chuckles, shaking her head at him as they step into the elevator. Hardy punches the button for the fifth floor and they lean against the wall. After a moment, Hardy glances up at Aria.
"Wait, it's only Thursday. Why are you here this early?" He asks.
Aria exhales heavily, running her index finger over the lid of her coffee cup. "Apparently my mother called me in, and then we got into it...it's a whole damn mess."
Aria doesn't look up, so she doesn't know if Hardy has any sort of reaction to what she's said. Even if he does, he doesn't say anything, and when they exit the elevator a few moments later, the subject seems to have been dropped.
Aria lets Hardy head back to see Ezra first, while she heads into the waiting room and finally checks her many missed texts and calls. Most of them are from her friends, so she sends a mass text to them, lying that she's home sick before she turns her phone off and picks up a stray magazine, flipping through it as though she's actually interested in what it has to say. Eventually, she tosses it back onto a stack and sips slowly at her coffee while she stares out the window in the waiting room. The sky is bright with white and gray clouds and there are drops of rain slowly slapping against the windowpane.
"Aria?"
She glances up from where she's staring out the window towards Hardy when she hears him calling her name.
"Hmm?"
Hardy waves her over wordlessly. Aria gulps nervously, standing up from where she's seated. She walks over to him, but Hardy still doesn't speak. Instead, he places a hand on her back and leads her through the double doors, down the hall to Ezra's room wordlessly. Aria is confused, but she doesn't ask any questions because she's not sure where to even start.
They reach the end of the hall a moment later, and as they step into the doorway, Ezra's head turns towards them, away from the TV.
Tears fill Aria's eyes as she tosses a hand over her mouth. She's at a complete loss for words, and she wants nothing more than to throw herself at him and give him the tightest hug she's ever given him, but she was wary of his injuries.
"I'll leave you two to talk," Hardy says softly before turning on his heel and walking away. It takes Aria a few moments before she can summon the strength to cross the room, but she manages to after a few moments and comes to stand at Ezra's bed side.
His hand drifts up by hers, curling his fingers inside her palm for a moment before he slowly lifts his hands and moves his fingers in a distinct manner. It takes Aria a moment to realize that he's using sign language due to still having a tube down his throat.
"You...are..." Aria murmurs to herself as she watches his hands move. She can't help but chuckle as she realizes what he's saying, even as tears roll down her face. "I'm okay. Yes I'm completely fine."
"Not hurt?" Ezra signs. Aria shakes her head, reaching down to grab his hand. She brushes her thumb over his knuckles, glancing down at the few remaining scabs from his scuffle with 'A'. She leans down and brushes her lips over his fingers before glancing up at him, keeping hold of his hand just under her chin. After a long moment, Ezra pulls his fingers from hers and reaches up to her cheek, brushing the tears from her face.
.,.
Aria spends most of the morning in the room with Ezra, curled up in the chair she's claimed as her space in the past few days. When nap time rolls around, she heads out to grab lunch with Hardy, during which she watches him field a number of phone calls from his boss. She knows he's trying to hold out as long as possible, but given that she hasn't actually been able to discuss anything with Ezra yet, she's not comfortable telling Hardy to leave, lest she and Ezra get into it and he's left in the ICU completely alone.
Their lunch ends early when Hardy receives a call from the hospital with them asking that he return. They only take their meal down the street, so they're quick to return to the hospital. Even so, it feels as though the walk from one side of the hospital to the other is endless.
When they reach the ICU, Hardy heads back to the nurses station while Aria waits-albeit very impatiently-for Hardy to return.
But he doesn't; at least not very quickly. Instead, Aria finds herself pacing in front of the same window she had stared out earlier that morning. She gnaws at her bottom lip as she walks in front of that window, fearful of what Hardy's going to say to her when he returns. Even so, when he finally does walk into the waiting room, his face gives no indication of what he's just been told.
"So?" She asks when he walks up.
Hardy is silent for a moment, seemingly gathering his words. After a pregnant moment, a smile breaks his face. "They asked me to come back because they wanted to pull the tube out."
Aria's brow furrows for a moment before her expression changes to one of surprise. "The tube? So they- it's out- he can breathe on his own?!"
Hardy nods, and graciously accepts the hug that Aria gives as she throws her arms around him. She needs to share this moment of happiness and excitement with someone, and Hardy is the only one there with her.
"He can breathe," she whispers softly, still trying to comprehend the information and digest it. "He can breathe."
"Yeah," Hardy whispers softly, rubbing her back comfortingly. There's a calm between the two of them that can only be described as unadulterated relief. They embrace for a few seconds longer before Aria finally steps back.
"Can I see him?"
Hardy nods. "He asked for you."
Aria doesn't wait another moment. She walks past Hardy to the double doors, gaining access before she passes through the large double doors into the ICU. She walks through the into the room, staring at Ezra with fresh tears as he opens his mouth and attempts to speak.
"Hi," he whispers as best he can.
Aria rushes to his side, tears streaming down her face once more as she seats herself beside him. There's so much she wants to say, and yet she can't even begin to think of where to start.
"I'm sorry," Ezra whispers as loudly as he can, though it's barely loud enough that Aria can hear him.
Aria shakes her head, swiping at the tears on her face. "Ezra, don't."
"Aria-"
She shakes her head, running her left hand up and down his forearm while her right is curls between his fingers. "It doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is that you're alive."
He smiles at her, reaching his hand up to her face and brushing his knuckles against her cheek. After several quiet minutes, he speaks again. "Did you guys catch 'A'?"
Aria gulps and shakes her head tearfully. "No, and they've been silent since. Alison is terrified."
"She okay?" Ezra asks. "Spencer? Hanna? Emily?"
Aria nods. "They're all okay. Alison is staying with the Hastings right now, but her father's supposed to be coming to town at some point."
Ezra nods. Silence falls over them once more.
Eventually, their attention turns to the TV, and Aria's attention is captured by an old movie playing. Neither of them says anything more, but Ezra's fingers move languidly between Aria's head and her arm, never giving up complete contact at any point.
After more than an hour, the movie ends, and Ezra pokes lightly on the back of Aria's bicep. She turns her head where it's cradled in the crook of her elbow, and looks up at Ezra. "Hmm?"
"Were you reading to me?" He asks.
Aria's cheeks pink as blood rushes to her face. She's surprised he can recall things he heard while comatose. "Um...yes."
"Will you read it to me again?" He asks.
"Ezra-"
It's he who cuts her off this time. "Please, Aria?"
If she had any will to still be angry at him, she would say no. But as much as she was unable to hang on to her anger the minute bullets entered his body, she also couldn't tell him no.
Nervously, she pulls her phone from her pocket and she opens her note app before she glances at him nervously and then back at the words on the screen. She clears her throat.
"Find me here, and speak to me. I want to feel you; I need to hear you. You are the light that's leading me to the place where I find peace again.
"You are the strength that keeps me walking. You are the light that keeps me trusting. You are the light to y soul. You are my purpose..." Aria pauses, swallowing a thick gulp past a knot in her throat. She glances up at Ezra. "You're everything.
"So how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you? Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?"
Ezra's fingers move slowly over Aria's palm as he listens to her read, watching her intently.
"You calm the storms, and you give me breath. You hold me in your hands-you wont let me fall. You steal my heart, and you take my breath away." Her voices falters on the end of the sentence as she continues. "Would you take me in, take me deeper now? Because you're all I want. You're all I need. You're everything. Everything. You're all I want. You're all I need. You're everything. You're everything.
"So how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you? Would you tell me, how could it be any better, any better than this?"
As Aria finishes reading, she looks back up at Ezra nervously while thick tears roll down her face. His hand moves away from hers and he reaches up to cup her cheek, brushing away the wetness. Seconds later, his fingers move further, around the back of her neck, and he pulls her forward. The motion is fluid, and Aria moves with him, perching on the edge of the bed as he pulls her head down to him and kisses her forehead.
"I'm sorry," he says again. "I'm so, so sorry."
Aria shakes her head, leaning up to look at him. She looks him up and down, from the mussed hair on the top of his head to gray shade of his chin from lack of blood-flow before her eyes fall on his. "Stop apologizing. Please. It doesn't matter anymore." Her tears fall into his hospital gown and she gulps again. "I almost lost you. It doesn't matter anymore.
Ezra's fingers trail the frame of her face, taking in every detail. He curls his knuckles under her chin and leads he down to him, their lips meeting in chaste kiss. Aria drops her hands beside his head to hold herself up, though one elbow drops against his shoulder, and her hands ends up grasping his gown, the cool feeling of metal button snaps under her fingers. She feels whole again, finally. Complete in a way that she hasn't felt since the afternoon before she and her friends met up at Spencer's place on Labor Day weekend. She and Ezra had spent the day at a pool in Philadelphia. No one batted an eyelash towards them as they cuddled in the deep end of the pool and took turns diving off the high dive. They just got to be a normal couple, and she'd felt safe and loved.
It had been so long since she'd felt that.
When their kiss breaks a few moments later, Aria doesn't move away. Instead, her hand stays curled at his shoulder, and she rests her cheek gently against his chest, staring at the wall as his fingers trail the frame of her face once more, pulling her hair out of the way.
"I meant what I said," Ezra whispers as she closes her eyes, just trying to be in the moment. "That day at the school. When this is all over and we've both left Rosewood, I'd like to try to be the man you think I am."
Aria smiles, though she doesn't open her eyes. She just wants to relish in the moment, knowing they're both alive, and for the moment, safe. When she finally opens her eyes again, she tilts her head up and looks him in the eyes. "Me too."
