A.N ok so before anyone writes a review bitching about how Twilight is the greatest thing sense sliced bread I would like to point out one very important thing. I don't like Twilight and its sparklepires. I firmly believe that the series should have stopped at the first book and this fic is to show my contempt for the continuation of the series. So if you are a Twihard if that is even the word, turn around now. I don't want anyone filling up my review box with flames and whining. You have been warned.

P.S . I own neither Harry Potter nor Twilight

Hermione set down the book on top of the others that her cousin had given her to read. Horrified was perhaps too strong of a word but it was all that came to her normally eloquent mind. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips, taking a deep breath she let it out shakily. Opening her eyes she fixed a hard stare at her cousin.

"So what do you think?" She asked oblivious to her cousins disapproving stare.

"What do I think? Bella when I said it might be a good idea to get your story out in the world I did not mean this atrocity." Hermione said

"Atrocity is a bit strong. You said that I should find an aspiring author and to give them artistic license." Bella said and Hermione glared at her.

"Artistic License and making things up are two different things Bella."

"You, Harry and Ron let JK Rowling make things up. After all, that epilogue never happened." Bella said testily, folding her arms over her chest.

"An epilogue a chapter along with several key things changed to be able to call our story fiction, does not count as making things up. Three extra books do count as making things up. After all nothing past your first book happened. I shudder to think of what Edward and his families reactions where to reading this Twilight Saga." Hermione raised her voice at the last part before she slumped back in to her chair. "What did Jacob and his tribe say to this series?" Hermione demanded.

"Um well they weren't too pleased that the tribe ledges where used in a book they had no say in. Jacob was irritated about the whole fighting over me thing." Bella just shrugged.

"I wonder about you sometimes Bella. I am fairly certain that you got dropped on your head as a baby."

*** Reservation***

"You wanted to date this girl?" Billy Black was still snickering over the books that the whole tribe had read. Jacob slammed his head into the table.

"Can we please stop talking about this? It wasn't her I wanted to date." Jacob said standing up and leaving the room.

"It's about time that boys come out of the closet. Don't know who he thought he was fooling." Billy muttered to himself as Jacob left.

***Somewhere in Alaska***

Edward's eye was twitching, in fact it hadn't stopped sense he began reading this Twilight Saga.

"What the Hell?" He finally shouted throwing the book across the room.

"I told you not to read them." Alice said from across the room not looking up from her fashion magazine.