Cry With You

Mark Sloan was sick of hurting. The physical pain from the crash had all but subsided, but the emotional anguish would last a lifetime. He was staring out the window, but he saw nothing. In his mind he kept hearing those words that would never be enough. "I love you I've always been in love with you I'll always be in love with you." He hated the tears that stung his eyes for the millionth time since that day but it was useless to wipe them away there would only be more. A knock at the door pulled him out of his reverie. He was not surprised to find his best friend Callie on the other side.

"What do you want Torres?"

His voice was cold and distant and he didn't look at her. "Mark I know you're going through a lot right now, but you've barely been out of this apartment since the day you were released from the hospital. You haven't called, you haven't asked to see Sofia. You look like a mess. I was giving you space, but now I'm really worried about you. When was the last time you ate? Are you taking your meds?"

"What does it matter?"

"It matters Mark! It matters a lot. My wife just lost her leg and she won't get out of bed, she won't talk to me, or look at me for that matter. It feels like I'm losing her, and I can't lose you too! I've been parenting Sofia on my own. I know having kids was my dream too, but I never wanted to be a single parent, she's been asking for you. I need you. We need you."

He knew she was right but it felt as if he was being swallowed up by the pain of losing Lexie." what am I supposed to do Callie? It hurts, it hurts every minute of every day."

"i know talking about feelings isn't your thing but you have to talk to someone, and it might as well be me. I know you better than anyone. As much as I wish I could I can take your pain away but keeping inside won't fix it. Let me in let me help you."

He didn't want to talk about what he was feeling because somehow that would make it even more real than it already was, but it was more than that. He wanted to protect her from all the darkness that day held though when he saw the concern and compassion in the brunettes chocolate brown eyes his defences came down.

"If I cook something for you will you eat?"

He nodded not remembering the last time he had eaten anything of substance. She came in and cooked a meal for two. While she was cooking she told him all of the frustrations and sadness she had been feeling toward and for Arizona. He listened intently interjecting with advice and encouragement at all the right times.

After the dishes had been cleared away he began to tell her the details of what had been spinning around in his head for weeks. They cried together as he recounted his last words to Lexie and her last words to him. The tears continued as he described what it felt like to see her take her last breath while he stood there helplessly watching the light leave her eyes and knowing his dreams of marriage and children with the love of his life would never come to be. He knew the pain would always be there but actually did feel good to tell someone about it and know he didn't have to face it alone. There would be many more conversations similar to the one they just had. Callie would always be there. He felt relaxed, safe, and comfortable now as he lay on the couch in her embrace. "Thanks Cal, I didn't know how much I needed this."

The Latina smiled," You're welcome. You know Mark I'm not the only one who's here for you. You can talk to Derek or Owen or Meredith. Knowing Meredith and how dark and twisty she can be she probably needs someone to talk to about Lexie."

"I know."

"Enough of this depressing stuff, Are you ready to go make our daughter happy?"

Mark smiled, "Yeah."

"Ok let's go relieve the sitter then," and with that the two went across the hall in search of their little ray of sunshine.