Our Man McKay

Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. All rights belong to MGM/Sony. Written just for fun.

Rating: Painful humor

AN: I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

The Watch Stander ©2006

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Rodney was sitting at his desk with his laptop open before him; prepared once again to go where no man has gone before... That is to answer his inbox emails a new way.

Everyday, he was accosted by just about everyone in Atlantis . They all insisted on sending these tidbits of stupidity to him; thinking that he was in charge of everything.

Before he started his day he had to clean out the emails; normally it left him in a grumpy mood, but today was the day he got even.

If they wanted answers then so be it, they'd get answers!

He rubbed his hands together eagerly and started to type.

No one was safe today, he'd show them!

Colonel Sheppard:

Ref: Rebooting Your Computer

I fail to see why you military types can't seem to follow simple instructions.

When I say to reboot your computer, it doesn't mean drop kicking it across the floor like a football.

I don't care how angry you are, push the damn button, let it reboot.

Trust me, it'll work much better.

Rodney McKay-Computer Genius

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Dr. Elizabeth Weir

Ref: Conserving Power

You will find that by having all the women on Atlantis refrain from using hair dryers ,it will cut our power usage by 4 percent a day. Please tell them they can let their hair dry naturally, I do. Or if necessary, stand on one of the balconies and let it air dry.

It's amazing how much energy is saved when heating units are not used.

Rodney McKay- Energy Consultant

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Lt. R. Smith

Ref: Leaking sink

I want you to know that I have three degrees and none of them included the course Plumbing 101.

Please contact Dr. Zelenka and he will take care of your problem.

Dr. Rodney McKay- Scientist

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Ronon Dex

Ref: Getting Even With Sheppard

Yes, I know that Sheppard putting red dye in your shampoo wasn't funny, and trust me , we will get even.

Last week he mismatched every pair of socks I own and I ended up wearing two different colors. The man is a nut job!

Tomorrow at 07:15am, while he's in the shower, I will turn off the hot water to his quarters. Then we'll see how funny he thinks that is.

Dr. Rodney McKay- Evil Genius

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Dr. Carson Beckett

Ref: Additional Supply of Medical Syringes

What is it with you and needles? I just saw another order for these last month.

Are you storing these up waiting for a victim to use as a pin cushion ?

I will forward above order, but be advised; I have a voodoo doll that I am putting your name on, so don't get any ideas about using me as said pin cushion.

Dr. Rodney McKay - Witch Doctor

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Major Lorne

Ref: 'Sludge' in the Waste Lines

Let me refresh your memory, I'm a scientist, not roto-rooter!

I think my esteemed colleague, Dr. Kavanagh handles things of this nature.

Please contact him.

Dr. Rodney McKay- Astro Physicist

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He pushed the send all button, closed the top and left the room smiling. The day just got a whole lot better.

End :)