A "What If…" Philosophy

What if you woke up one morning with a deep feeling of emptiness? There is something missing, something no one and nothing can erase. Though you yourself can't place it and no one will believe it the feeling remains. Still, how can you find something if you don't know what it is?

Gathering in the control room were the current members of the X-Men: Beast, Cyclops, Gambit, Emma, Nightcrawler, Sage, Storm, and Wolverine. However, one group member was beginning to question the group's completion. "Why we gotta do dis every day?"

"If we had started doing this before, Gambit, maybe some of our teammates would still be here."

Gambit sat back, crossing his arms. Storm gave his head a smack. "It is imperative that we know what we are doing and how to keep each other safe."

"Like bein' babysat," he muttered under his breath.

(You need ta be babysat, sugah.)

The others were still performing their usual chatter when he looked around. Emma was the first one he glanced at, but he dismissed her because of the accent. *What th' heck?*

"Gambit?"

"Yeah, ain't nothing' new here." He stood and walked out of the room. *Maybe I'm losin' it. It's been a while since I went down-*

"Gambit, are you all right?"

"No worries, Stormy. Jus' thinkin' about headin' back home for a while."

"When our team is as strained as it is, us losing another member would be uncalled for."

"Ain't much of a team without…"

"Without what? Or who?"

"If I knew, cheré, we wouldn't be havin' dis little talk."

"Emma could-"

"Thanks for your concern, Stormy, but I ain't ready for that jus' yet."

Later that day…

*Bein' gloomy's Wolverine's way, not mine,* Gambit thought as he crawled through the ventilation. After his encounter with Storm he decided that it would be better to be alone. As he traveled through the miles of tubes, the black-eyed man decided to rest in one of the empty rooms. "Maybe now I get some rest, non?" He lie back on the bed and closed his eyes.

(Rest ain't what you need, cajun. 'Specially in here.)

"Who say dat? Where are you?" For a moment the empty room seemed to have a life, a feeling of lost emotion. "What do you wan'?" He stood and looked around the room. "What do you wan' wit' me?"

(Ah'm sorry, but ah got some personal business ah gotta take care of back home.)

"Who are you, cheré?" He gave a sound of frustration and stormed out of the mansion.

The next morning…

Having avoided everyone since the previous night and feeling no need to see them this morning, Remy snuck back into the room he'd been in earlier. *If I'm gonna find out wha's goin' on, dis de best place to start.* He lie on the bed again and closed his eyes. When he opened them he saw the vague outline of a woman above him and a man with a sword coming towards them.

(You call this a fair fight?)

"Break free! Go!" came his own voice.

(Can't.)

"How many powers you imprinted, woman? Fire an optic blast! Use super-spit! Do somethin'!"

(Remy, ah can't! It's this beam--! It's drained me dry! We're in this together!)

"Ah!"

"Cajun!" Wolverine burst in. "What's happening?" When he saw the cut and the blood he called for Storm. "Get a hold of yourself, gumbo!"

"What is going on?"

"Cheré, why didn't you jus' go?"

"How did he get injured like this, Logan?"

"I don't know, but maybe it's the same one he's been talking to."

"Where…are…you…cheré?" Gambit finally passed out.

"Something odd's goin' on here, Storm. Look at those wounds."

"They are…gone?" She touched the healed skin through a hole in his shirt. "How could this possibly happen?"

"Dunno, but I think Hank and Emma better check him out."

"Agreed."

*What th' heck is goin' on?* He was in his full thief attire and walking in a familiar place. The house in front of him wasn't from his neck of the woods, but he knew it was the south. A blonde woman stepped out onto the porch and came down the steps. "Who are you?" the man asked.

"You come to the Far Banks and demand answers? After what you've done to my daughter?"

"Your daughter?" he repeated softly.

"Because of you, my Anna-Marie has been impossible to deal with."

"Anna-Marie? What does th' fille look like?"

"Why should I indulge the whims of Creole trash like you?" She was closer to him than he liked.

"I don' care wha' you say or t'ink about me! If Anna's de one I keep seein', den I t'ink she's in trouble! I jus' wanna help her."

She moved until she was only six inches away from him and then circled him. "If you don't know her, why are you lookin' for her?"

"I don't know…yet. When I see her…when I FIND her I might know. Anna-Marie jus' might…" *She jus' might prove I ain't crazy.*

"The Anna-Marie in your world would still be in Caldecott County, Mississippi. Maybe with her father, Owen, or her my sister, Carrie."

"Thank you, belle." He took her hand and kissed it.

"Tell my baby girl that her mama wants her to be happy. Priscilla wants her to be happy."

"Mais oui," he whispered and everything went black.

"He's waking up."

"Everyone stand back. I want to make sure I can suppress his memories if they become violent again."

"Nice ta be back in th' real world." Gambit groaned and opened his eyes. "Who turned out th' lights?"

"Great," Wolverine muttered.

"What's goin' on?"

"Gambit, I'm going to-"

"It's happenin' again," he stated cutting Emma off. *One more time an' this IS gonna drive me crazy.* He pushed himself up.

"You shouldn't-"

"I got things I need ta take care of. Now."

Storm put her hand on his chest. "You cannot push yourself too hard. Right now-"

"I appreciate th' concern, Stormy, but if I don't-"

"Emma."

"If you refuse to listen to reason, Mr. LeBeau, I will be forced to incapacitate you mentally. Think carefully about your choice as I'm not in the best of moods," Emma stated calmly.

Gambit laid back down without protest. *Ain't gonna stay down too long no matter what you threaten.*

"And just to make sure you have no intentions of running off, Storm will keep you company." With that, and a soft curse from Gambit, Emma and the others departed.

"Stormy…"

"As long as I have known you, you have never easily let go of what you wanted. Now is no different. Tell me what you know."

He sat up, trying his best to face her. "She's from Mississippi, Caldecott County. Her mama's Priscilla, dad Owen, and aunt's Carrie." After a moment's hesitation, he added, "Her name's Anna-Marie."

"When I get the opportunity, I will look up those-"

"I need ta do this on my own. I appreciate the help and-"

"Do not make promises you do not intend to keep."

"Yeah." He wore a troubled expression as he thought about what he was going to do next.

The next morning…

Before he opened his eyes, Gambit felt a warmth by his side. "Where you goin'?"

(Some of us have real work to do.)

"It's early. You don' hafta-"

(No, ah don't, but ah need to.)

"I'll make it worth your while."

(Ah believe you're makin' one of your ol' scoundrel propositions.)

"And is that bad?" Her laughter filled his ears, but when he opened his eyes… "Dere's no one here," he muttered. "Nice to see again, tho'." After packing, Gambit started a virtual search for Anna-Marie. After three hours he found a ten year old address and was off.

Caldecott County

He had checked into a local hotel to make sure he could pass as a good ol' Southern boy. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail down his back and sunglasses to hide the unique characteristics of his eyes. His current wardrobe consisted of a pair of black jeans, brown leather boots, a white short-sleeved dress shirt, and a brown jacket. Of course, no matter how decent he looked he would have to convince Anna-Marie's family that he was what he seemed.

As Remy pulled into the driveway of the address he had found, a blonde woman stepped out onto the porch. She didn't look too happy to see him. "Hello."

"Whatever you're sellin', I don' need it, so just get on your way."

Gambit dismounted his motorcycle anyway. "I don' have nothing' ta sell. I'm lookin' for Anna-Marie."

Something flickered in her face. "Anna-Marie left here with her daddy years ago. I don't know where they've gone off to but she isn't here!" With that she turned and went back inside.

*Dat went well.* As he looked up, curtains moved in a closed second floor window. *Dere's no way she could get up dere dat fast.* As he rode off he was already making plans for his return.

Though it had been raining lightly all afternoon it was clear enough for him to travel with just moonlight. Going through the woods wasn't easy, but that wasn't what he was going for. However, luck seemed to be favoring the thief as a young woman was waiting outside. At first Gambit kept himself hidden. He studied her face, then closed his eyes.

Each physical manifestation he had experienced over the last few days became more real. He remembered her smile, her laughter, her anger, her voice. When Gambit opened his eyes again he saw Anna-Marie in a different light. *How could I forget her?* As he stepped out he slipped on his sunglasses.

"Thought you'd be back."

"Anna-Marie."

"Ya scared Carrie. She'd've called the police if she trusted 'em." She shifted and looked up at him as he closed the distance between them. "How'd ya find me? How do ya even know mah name?"

"I remember you," he said as he sat next to her. "I've had some very vivid memories of you."

"But we've never met."

"I know it sounds unbelievable, but I've known you for years Rogue."

"That's mah-how did you…" She shook her head. "At least tell me your name."

"Most people know me as Gambit, but my friends call me Remy LeBeau."

"Remy…"

He felt a deep pain in the side of his head, but ignored it. "I think somethin' happened ta make us forget each other."

"If somethin' was tha' powerful, how can ya remember?" Tears ran down her cheeks as her eyes filled with anger. "Why don' ah feel anything?"

"I dunno, but…" Gambit took off his sunglasses, grabbed her by the shoulders, and looked her square in the eyes. "Cheré, jus'-"

"No," she whispered. "Please, don' make me." Anna-Marie clasped her hands to her head as she pressed them to her knees.

"Are you okay?"

After a moment she looked up at him. "We were…we were closer than jus' friends, but tha's not…we can't make this work."

"We can." He let his gloved hand trace her cheek. "I'm not gonna lose ya over this again."

"Just…" She stood as the rain began to fall. "Ah don' wanna get hurt. Ah don' wanna remember gettin' hurt, hurtin' others, an' losin'…everything."

"It's worse not knowin'. Even worse ta be th' only one who remembers." He stood next to her and draped his coat over her shoulders. "Cheré-"

"Do you really think that somethin' will change for th' better?"

"Yeah."

She pulled the jacket tightly around her. *Ah don't know…* All of a sudden, she heard his voice but when Anna-Marie looked at him he wasn't speaking.

(No, no, NO, no, no, no, no, NO!)

"Yes. While ah live, you don't die, it's that simple." She touched the left side of her chest. "What is…"

"When tha' happened, we were stabbed. Ya almost died an' ya pulled me back." He put his hands on her shoulders, then put his arms around her waist when she didn't pull away. "Cheré…"

"Please, don't make this harder." She put her hands over his. "Ah'll go with you, but ah can't promise anythin'."

"Makin' a promise ya can't keep is worse than not makin' one."

"Ah know." She pulled away. "Let's go." He squeezed her hand and led her away from her home.

Salem Center

When Remy drove up to the mansion, Anna gave a yelp of surprise. "Major déjà vu."

"It's alright, cheré."

As they got off the bike she took his hand. He was still wearing gloves but had changed into his normal outfit. Anna-Marie was wearing the shirt and jeans that he had worn previous because she had determined her own clothes had been inappropriate. "Ah have th' feelin' ah'm not welcome here."

"Long time ago, cheré. They're family now."

"Family's fight too."

They entered the main room where everyone was assembled. Emma Frost stood and said, "This ends now." Then everything began to go wrong.

The walls and everyone disappeared, leaving Rogue, Gambit, and Emma in the nothingness. "No…" Rogue suddenly collapsed.

"Cheré!"

"Let her go, Remy."

"What? She's hurt-"

"Trust me. Let her go."

"Not after all this." He moved her so her shoulders were resting against his thighs. "What's happening, Emma?"

"She's dying. If you don't let go you'll die too."

"But-"

"We've been helping you both. You're finally where you need to be, but Rogue needs more help. You have to let her go."

"Remy?" Rogue whispered.

"Yeah, cheré?"

"Ah think…you should listen to her."

"I don't care wha' happens to me, I jus wanna be together. I won't lose you again."

Emma looked away from the scene for a moment, then nodded. She lifted one hand and everything changed. Gambit was now in a dark blue tuxedo, but it was Rogue's wardrobe that drew one's attention. The collar was a high v-cut of fluff connected to lace that ran to her chest and down her arms. The gloves and the rest of her dress were made of ribbons and silk weaving into each other. When he looked down at her, the train of Anna-Marie's dress was spread out beneath her like angel's wings.

"Cheré…"

"You can't…WE can't stop it. No one can."

Emma, dressed as a priest, touched his left shoulder. "Do you want to continue?"

"Yes."

"Do you take this woman to be your wife?"

"I do."

"Do you take this man to be your husband?"

She looked up at Gambit. "Ah…do."

"Kiss the bride."

He leaned down, but hesitated before their lips touched. "I won't ever let anythin' happen ta you."

"Don't…make promises…you can't keep…Cajun." She kissed him.

Emma broke the link.

Elsewhere…

Before he opened his eyes, Gambit knew he was in the medlab. There were bandages on his head, left shoulder, right wrist, and both legs. *Feels like a car hit me.* He opened his eyes and yanked out his oxygen tube. "Where is she?"

"Lie down, Remy. Your wounds aren't fully healed."

"Emma, what happened? Where's Rogue?"

"She's not here. Her powers made it impossible to keep her in the medlab, so she's in the Danger Room. You're here because a building fell on you both and caused skin to skin contact."

"Damn." He started to get up, but only managed to get into sitting position. "I'm goin' ta-"

"You're staying here. Rogue is in good hands."

"Xavier, Rachael, and I have been using yours and Rogue's mind link and memories reconstructed as a psychodrama to let you have a connection to them."

"Xavier couldn't do tha' for-"

"Ms. Marvel had her memories restored by Xavier alone. With Rachael and myself, he was able to give yours back."

Remy let his legs hang over the side of the bed. "Then why isn't she fine?"

Emma gave him a stern look. "If you don't lie back down, I will be forced to incapacitate you mentally, Mr. LeBeau."

"Alright." Gambit laid back down.

"When we started this we had to repress Ms. Marvel, Sunfire, Rogue, and you just to get to the proper memories. The others are now trying to more permanently repress the other two dominate aspects."

"When can I see her?"

"That's it." Gambit's eyes glimmered for a second before going dark.

Later…

Gambit stood in front of a large house he had seen before. A few years ago he was ready to die here. However, Rogue had pulled him here when before she had pulled him away. "You look good, cheré."

She looked up from the porch. "Thanks. It took a while ta get here."

"Didn't think ya'd wanna come back here. Feelin' better?"

He sat next to her. "Yeah,"

"Good. Emma said you were-"

"Partly. That's why we're here. Near-death experiences are really interesting. This is where I've been for days."

"I'm sorry-"

"Not you're fault." She put her hand over his. "Ah'm fine now."

"Anna…"

"Sh. You need your rest. Emma said you were being very persistent about seein' me. Was it tha' last memory?" She squeezed his hand.

"Non. Not completely."

"Good, because it wasn't real."

"Could be."

"Ask me the next time we meet."

"Maybe I wanna surprise you." He kissed her hand. "Make it special."

"Don't wait too long, sugah. Ah'm not the patient type."

"Don' I know it."