Here's the story featuring Urahara and Yoruichi I promised. It was originally going to be a oneshot, but I decided that there needed to be two other chapters, one for Ukitake and one for Yoruichi. This is the first Academy story I've done so hopefully everyone enjoys it!

Also, for anyone who is interested, I've decided that The Perfect Plan will be a twoshot now, instead of just a oneshot.

Disclaimer: ARGH! No! It's not mine!

Summary: When Unohana suggest a story Yoruichi has the perfect idea, much to Kyouraku, Ukitake, and Yamamoto's horror, and the enjoyment of everyone else.

Warnings: FemUkitake, a lot of drunken soul reapers, and an implied lemon

Story Time

Chapter 1: Urahara and Kyouraku's Chapter

Byakuya glared at Kyouraku as laughter filled the room. Ichigo pounded a fist on the table, his other hand clutching his side. "That's too good," he managed to gasp out.

The Sixth Division Captain turned his dark gaze to the substitute soul reaper, flickering over to Renji who was choking on his drink, and Rukia who was trying to hide her giggles behind her hand. They were celebrating the end of the war, and somehow Kyouraku had ended up telling stories about everyone who had sat down at their table, the last being about Ukitake's former student.

"Don't give that look!" Kenpachi shouted, his words slurred. He lifted his cup of sake, spilling most of it on Ikkaku and Yachiru who sat on either side of him, Ikkaku falling onto Yumichika in a vain attempt to avoid the liquid. "We all had a turn, so suck it up!"

"Actually," Nanao said, pushing up her glasses, "we haven't heard any stories about Captain Kyouraku yet."

A silence fell over the room as all eyes turned to the Eight Division Captain who lounged between the Captain-Commander and Ukitake. "True," Hitsugaya said perfectly, his flushed cheeks the only indication he was drunk. Next to him Hinamori started to nod before a hiccup interrupted her.

"Does anyone even have a story about Captain Kyouraku?" Kira asked, practically leaning on Hisagi who kept blinking. This time everyone turned to Ukitake, who like Unohana and Isane across from her, was drinking tea and still perfectly sober.

Komamura snorted as Rangiku refilled his cup. "I doubt we'll get a story out of Ukitake."

"No, not unless you get a few drinks in her," Yoruichi said slyly, eyeing the white haired woman she sat next to. Soifon leaned forward to peer pass Yoruichi, her cheeks red and eyes wide. "I, on the other hand, am perfectly willing to do so. Now, what story should I tell?" she asked, tapping her chin.

"The stalkers." Everyone turned to Unohana who was taking a sip of tea.

Ichigo would later tell people that Yoruichi's smile had been truly terrifying. "Which one: mine, Kisuke's, Kyouraku's?"

"Shun had fangirls, not stalkers," Ukitake muttered, a shiver running through the room.

"Ukitake's," Unohana clarified. Immediately Yoruichi started laughing, Kyouraku and Ukitake groaned, Chōjirō sighed as he finished off his ale, and Yamamoto glared at the usually laid back captain.

"Not that one," Ukitake whimpered.

"Okay," Ichigo said, accidentally spilling his cup onto Renji's lap, who looked at it and shrugged, "we definitely have to hear this one now."

"Well," Yoruichi started, still chuckling as she spoke, "the whole mess started when Shunsui convinced Yamamoto to let the Academy students host a play. He also convinced Jūshirō to play the "princess." He gave her this cute little dress to wear that caused many of the male students to take notice of her, although how he convinced them she was still a man, I have no idea. Anyways, the whole story starts at the end of the play, which was actually just a ploy to steal our beloved Jūshirō's first kiss."

/

Ukitake couldn't believe she was doing this. The play called for her to choose between her two suitors, played by Urahara and Kyouraku, choosing her true love, Kyouraku, over the man who loved her but she only cared for, Urahara. She took a step toward Kyouraku, but as she did a man in the audience stood up. "Ukitake! I love you! You should choose me!"

"No!" shouted another student who stood up. "Ukitake, you should be with me!"

And that's all it took for a full blown fight to break out, men screaming that they were the only one who truly loved the white haired girl. "Shunsui, what should we do?" Ukitake whispered.

"I know," Urahara whispered, stepping forward, gripping Ukitake's chin. "Just play along," he said, before kissing her. Silence fell over the crowd as people realized what was happening.

"Kisuke Urahara!" Kyouraku shouted.

"Hold on," Urahara said, grinning as he broke the kiss. "I'm a little busy at the moment." With that, he leaned down, this time kissing Ukitake with much more passion.

As all hell broke loose, Kyouraku pulled Ukitake away from Urahara, and out of the auditorium. Urahara tried to follow but found his way blocked by an angry Yamamoto.

/

Ukitake couldn't believe what was happening. An hour ago she'd never been kissed before in her life, and now she'd been kissed by the two most desired men at the Academy. She was actually making out with her best friend, Shunsui Kyouraku. "Wait, wait," she said, pushing Kyouraku away for a moment. "Shunsui, why are you doing this?"

Kyouraku blinked. "Isn't it obvious, Ukitake? I want you."

"Yes, but why?"

Kyouraku chuckled, kissing Ukitake's nose before resting his forehead against her own. "Because, I love you."

They were so close Ukitake could feel his lips move. "And how many girls have you said that to before?"

"None."

Kyouraku held still, waiting. After a moment Ukitake moved forward, placing her lips against Kyouraku's. "I love you too, Shunsui."

/

"Shunsui!"

"Ukitake!"

Yamamoto couldn't believe what he was seeing. He would kill Kyouraku for touching Ukitake. He quickly pulled Kyouraku off Ukitake before either of his students realized he was there. "Sensei!" Ukitake shouted, trying to redo the ties on her dress, but Yamamoto ignored her, his attention completely on Kyouraku. "Sensei, please don't hurt him!"

"You put on this stupid play, draw everyone's attention to Jūshirō, and deflower her during the confusion you caused. I will not allow this to go unpunished."

/

"Well, we got off easy considering," Urahara said, leaning against his broom. He grinned, letting out a small 'ow' as the split on his lip opened again.

Kyouraku shook his head. "Yes, cleaning duty until graduation, no matter how tedious, does seem more appealing than death."

Urahara snorted. "I'm surprised Yamamoto didn't kill you. I just kissed Jūshirō, you slept with her." The other boy glared at his friend, but remained silent. Urahara laughed. "You shouldn't glare at people until that eye heals. It makes you look like you're surprised."

"That doesn't look like cleaning," they heard from across the courtyard. Yamamoto sat on the other side of the gardens, talking to Ukitake.

Both boys moved their brooms back and forth, although it made little difference as they weren't really getting anything clean. "So," Urahara said, breaking the silence they had fallen into, "How did you get her into bed so quickly anyways?"

"Why did you kiss her?" Kyouraku snapped back.

"Answer my question, I'll answer yours."

"Fine," Kyouraku sighed after a moment. "I told her I love her."

"And?"

"And what? Answer my question before asking me another."

"All right, fair enough. I kissed her because I wanted to ruin your elaborate little plan to kiss her first."

"I hate you."

"No you don't. Now, do you love her?"

"Yes."

"Did Yamamoto believe you?"

Kyouraku snorted. "We had a five hour "discussion" about it. I still don't think he believes me. Probably trying to convince Jūshirō she should never speak to me again."

"They've been talking for a while now, probably moved passed all that. Jūshirō loves you, or else Yamamoto really would have killed you."

"I don't care if he believes me, only that Jūshirō does."

"Which I do."

The two turned around to see Ukitake and Yamamoto standing behind them. "Maybe," Urahara whispered loudly as he leaned closer to Kyouraku, "you have some special power to summon Yamamoto."

"Goodie."

/

"That dress was an awful idea," Urahara hissed through his teeth as the last student fell.

"I'm beginning to think the same," Kyouraku said, shaking out his hand. "I think that last one had iron in his head."

"What's going on?" Ukitake asked as she and Yoruichi exited the restaurant.

Urahara shook his head as he looked at Ukitake. "I still can't believe you cut off your hair. It's like looking at a different person."

"I already told you I wanted everyone to keep thinking I was a boy. Now, why are there ten unconscious people in the street?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Yoruichi asked, smirking at the two boys. "They were getting rid of your stalkers."

"Again? I thought they all gave up by now."

"Aw, Jūshirō, why would anyone give up on you? You're just too cute!" the black haired girl said, hugging Ukitake tightly, the white haired girl letting out an 'epp.'

"Usually I hate doing anything, but something has got to be done about this," Kyouraku said. "How many is that now?"

"Well, with these ten, that makes fifty-three this month alone."

"What do you plan to do?" Ukitake asked, walking over to Kyouraku.

Kyouraku looked over to Urahara. "Don't look at me. This is your fault."

"Then there's only one thing we can do," he sighed.

/

"The very next day Yamamoto issued a rule stating that if anyone was caught stalking Jūshirō they would be expelled from the Academy and never allowed to join the Gotei 13. Of course, there were the few that thought our beloved captain was worth it, but Yamamoto quickly got rid of them. And there ends Shunsui's story. Got Kisuke out of the way while we were at it too."

"So that's where the stalking rule came from," Rukia muttered.

"That was always one that confused me," Hinamori hiccupped.

"I want to hear a story about Ukki!" Yachiru shouted.

Kenpachi snorted. "Ukitake's too goody goody to have a good story."

"Actually, I do have one on her as well," Yoruichi said, smirking. "And it's all thanks to a little thing called tequila."

"You wouldn't!" Ukitake whispered, horrified. She set her drink down, staring at her old friend with wide eyes.

"Oh, but I would."

"Let her, Juu. I haven't even heard this story," Kyouraku said with a grin.

"Nor have I," Unohana muttered. Yamamoto raised an eyebrow, a clear indication that he did not know the story either.

Ukitake groaned, picking up Kyouraku's filled sake cup, downing its contents in one go.

/

Next up, Ukitake's chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed this one!