"Are you ready to play Johnny?" Those too smooth, too perfect lips pressing against the flap of his ear distract him from the words. "Sherlock's favorite game. What does it take to break his little toys. I'm ready Johnny, are you?" And then the lips were gone but the voice of silk was still there. "No matter that you can't answer. We're going to play anyways." He'd fought the ropes holding him down, oh dear God he'd fought them, twisting and squirming until his wrists were raw and bloody but there hadn't been any freedom. He heard a click of metal on metal and the unmistakable, too loud sound of a zipper being undone. The cold metal slab underneath him felt even colder. He screamed into the cloth stuffed into his mouth, begging for God to reach down and save him.

"I'm here John. I'm here." Strong thin fingers wrapped around his shoulders, beginning to gently rock him back and forth in a too steady rhythm "I'm here. It's over John. It's over."

Moriarty had directed his goons to flip John over. He was now pressing into the metal with only his scant chest hairs to protect him from the cold metal, though that wasn't the reason he was shivering. "I'm so sorry it's come to this Johnny, but you didn't want to play nicely." Hands rubbed along him, tracing the line of his back downwards, towards his hips. He shuddered, feeling his control slipping and tears beginning to run down his cheek. He pressed his eyes close, praying for it to just be over soon. God, what had he done to deserve this?

"I've got you John. You're safe. I'm here." Kind hands brushed against his forehead, the warm feeling of another body pressing against his comforting and painfully frightening at the same time. "You're safe. You're safe John."

"Johnny. Johnny." The voice called out to him from behind the wall he'd built up around his mind. "Wake up Johnny. Morning's here and daddy has to leave for work." He shuddered and tried to move away from the man, but the consulting criminal was pressing into him, covering his back and legs. He was still lying face down on the metal slab, arms stretched out and secured with rough ropes. "Kiss daddy goodbye Johnny."

"John please. It's been a week and you haven't eaten anything." Cool metal pushed against his lips, asking to be let in. "For me John. Please"

The goodbye kiss had turned into another drawn out hour in which John had whimpered and begged to God for it to just end. He closed his eyes and tried to no success to hold the tears inside. It hurt, the pressure riding up inside him and he was sure that he'd hurt a lot worse later, that there'd be scares and tears and dear God, please don't let it get infected.

"Mycroft wants you to see a therapist John. Says one of them can figure out why you're shutting down. As if they could be any smarter than me. I know why you won't talk to me John."

Moriary patted his cheek as he dressed in the creased suit. "That was fun Johnny. We'll have to do it again sometime, eh?" He blew a mocking kiss at John as he left.

"It's my fault John. It's all my fault."

"Give Sherlock my love."