[Hey guys! It's ah me again! xD LoL Well, my sched was so very busy so ugghhhh… I'm late. But anyway, I managed to write this fanfic/ Songfic. The title of the song is "Who are you now?" by Sleeping with Sirens. The lines of the song are italic and bold. Lovi and Feli were normal humans in here neh~? It was a great song really—my fave! xD Well here it goes.]
Sometimes you have to fall before you fly… We're gonna work it out…
Lovino Vargas, aged 23, hazel green eyes, chocolate brown hair with a strange curl on the right, was working on a coffee shop, and has a younger brother whom he was supporting. Their grandfather died when they were very little and since then, Lovino was the one who worked to support their lifestyle while his brother was the one who studies abroad.
Lovino was jealous to his brother since they were little kids. It was his fratellino who gets more attention than him. He was always called "cute", "obedient", "kind" and many many praises while him—he is only second-to-his-brother. Well in some sense, all they say about his brother was true. What could they say about him? Well, Lovino himself can say that he really was second-to-the-best—to his fratello. He was so disappointed to himself and the world that sometimes, he wishes that he could sleep and that no one can wake him up.
Don't wake me up if' I'm sleeping this life away… Telling me that I'll never be good enough Sometimes it hurts to think that it could only be that way… It won't be that way!
He sometimes thinks that no matter what he does it always is the same. He will be always and forever second to the best. But he will try and try to surpass his brother. He will make them see that he is the one who needs recognitions and not his brother!
I'm tired and I'm lost I don't wanna be found I put my heart and my soul and strength in this now so forgive me cuz' forget that yeah this world has changed me! So you'll know when you ask me…
Lovino worked extra hard with all his heart, soul and strength. He worked on the café, tomato farm, pizza chain, and many more. He was very tired and could barely walk normally. His body muscles ache like hell! Antonio, who was his boss at the shop, worries about his worker so he convinced him to take a "week" off. Of course, Lovino would refuse but when Antonio said that he will still pay him even when he was at rest. At last, Lovino was convinced.
A day after his first rest, his brother called. He said that he was going home tomorrow. Lovino can't help feeling slightly happy but every time he felt jealousy towards his brother, he always gets angry with him. The next morning, he went to the airport and waited for the arrival of his brother. He was a bit annoyed because he was waiting in there for so long until his brother came.
Feliciano Vargas, aged 21, amber eyes, auburn hair with a strange hair curl like his brother but only in the left and a fresh graduate from Gakuen Hetalia which was on abroad. He was usually sunny and bouncy in contrast with his older brother who was grumpy and bad-mouthed. He ran to his fratellone and hugged him tight.
"Fraaaaateeeellloooooo! I missed you so much!" said Feliciano while nuzzling his brother's chest.
Lovino felt very happy. He felt his cheeks burn and his heart flutter with happiness on how his cute little brother hugged him tight. He forgot about waiting so very long and his anger vanished at the simple sight of his brother. He almost hugged him back but he then remembered about his anger at the waiting for towards his fratellino. He pushed him away very hard that his brother hit the floor.
"Get off me! I'm waiting very long did you know that bastard?!" Lovino glared at his brother.
"B-but I-I was j-just…" Feliciano cannot help to cry. He was just hugging his brother and what is wrong about that? They haven't seen each other for a very long time! It was just too much for him.
"Damn it! You're wasting our time! Look at those people. They're looking at us! Don't make a ruckus in here or I'll beat you up." Lovino said and grabbed his brother's wrist very tight. Feliciano could feel that there were gonna be bruises when his older brother remove his hand from his wrist. It hurts a lot for him—physically and emotionally.
They arrived at their house. Feliciano was holding his bruised wrist while Lovino carried his fratellino's baggage at his room. He took a look at his younger brother who was wandering on their house. He looked so calm and fragile with his petite body and soft eyes. He really felt guilty on hurting him but he convinces himself that it was just normal and people can't always be unharmed.
When Lovino went upstairs, Feliciano glanced at their picture. It was their grandfather and them when they are little. They look so happy and contented. He wishes that they were still kids and living with their grandpa where they are happy. Feliciano felt a tear trickle from his eye then the other. He wipes it but it flows again.
"Hey, why are you crying Feliciano? Silly don't cry! Only babies cry did you know that? Fratello doesn't smile anymore so you'll be the one who'll smile for him so smile no?" Feliciano talked to himself while wiping his tears away.
Lovino came down and saw his fratellino crying. He of course worried and almost ran to him but he remained in his post. He thought that if he went down in there, what would he say? Before he can think of something to say, Feliciano looked up to him with very sorry eyes. He looked so heartbroken to Lovino. Lovino was also heartbroken at this moment and was confused. He feels guilty, sorry, sad, worried and many emotions that he cannot explain. Only his brother can make him feel like this. After a long silence between them, at last he managed to say something.
"H-hey Feli, why a-are you c-crying?" Lovino stutters as he remained on his place.
Feliciano just looked at him with the most broken look and then took the picture that he was looking at earlier then said:
"Fratello, who are you now?"
A long silence again. You can almost hear the wind gushing inside their house. Feliciano cries continuously while Lovino can feel his heart ache with every beat. He wanted to say something but nothing comes out. Feliciano just said "excuse me fratello" then went upstairs. Lovino was still dumbfounded and ruffled his hair violently.
"Uggghh! You're so dumb Lovino Vargas! Damned shitty asshole!"
Who are you now?
Did you say what you want?
Don't go back to the start
I'm asking, who are you now?
Did they break you apart?
Won't you fight back for what you want?
"Ve~ sometimes I think Fratello is another person, a person that I don't know—a complete stranger. Back then, I still remember clearly, when we were kids we used to play in the fields, water a tomato plant together and bike with Nonno along the streets. I loved him since we were just kids and we were close and was always happy but all of a sudden, it changed. Why did he change?" Feliciano said while trying to wipe a waterfall of tears from his eyes. "Could it be possible that before I came back home from abroad, he still smiles? Maybe because he isn't happy that I came back? Well, I didn't know what he wanted from the start—if he wanted me to come home or just stay in abroad. But, I don't want to stay in there anymore because it's like I'm going back to the start again." Feliciano paused a little and looked down to his feet and when he looked up again, he turned to a mirror and saw himself wearing a sad smile. "But, I think, that is the best way for now."
Don't, don't, don't wake me up
'Cause I hate who I am today
So come on, come on
And just take, take, take what you want
Is it now what we're living for?
We're always wanting more
"Uggh! I really hate these fucking situations! I hate this! I really hate this!" Lovino said while ruffling his hair violently. He really hates being guilty and the fact that he must lower his pride just to say sorry but seeing his precious baby brother, who is always happy and bouncing, got hurt and heartbroken really breaks his heart even more. He was about to bang his head to the wall when he heard his brother's footsteps.
"Fratello, I'm sorry about earlier. I know I shouldn't have said that. Maybe you think that I'm pathetic to ask 'who are you'. I… I think I'll just go to Ludwig's place to give you some time for yourself. Ciao!" Feliciano waved with a smile etched to his face but Lovino can see the breaking soul inside. He opened his mouth to say something to his brother but nothing came into words. His brother left the house and he did nothing. He felt very useless.
We can change it all together, in the end you're gonna find
that what we felt in our hearts was real the whole time
when you open up your eyes, I hope that you find
who you are, who you are
Two years later, Lovino was still working at the café and he now owned a small but popular Italian resto. He worked very hard and used the money he saved to build his own resto. He wants to show something great when his brother came back. Well, he really wanted to retrieve their old relationship. When his fratellino went away, it is as if a piece of him went away too. He finds it very hard to smile and he always found himself always staring at the sky thinking 'I wonder what Feli is doing right now'. He always smiles to himself when he sees pasta thinking 'Feli will be very happy when he sees this' and he laughs to himself when he sees the white mantels that was hanged outside. It resembles the white flag Feli always waves. Well long ago, he always thinks his brother was cute and he always blushes at his presence. But after their Nonno died, he stopped schooling and started working while his brother just takes leisure and all of the people fond over him. He was left behind. Since then, he always convinced himself that he hate his brother. But now, he was filled with guilt. His brother did nothing and he treated him badly. He was always called by a cheery and bubbly voice from abroad and he always end it with a cuss or a shout or an irritated sigh. Sometimes, he won't answer it at all! And when he met his brother personally, he harmed him and shamed him in front of many people. He was a total dumbass! But now, he already changed himself. And he won't let this happen until the end. He will now end this awkward situation. He'll make up with his brother and say that he was really sorry. He didn't care about his pride now because his brother was far more important to him. He realized, within the ten lonely months, he was in love. He loved his brother for a long time but didn't notice it only because he convinced himself he hated him. Now he will make a move.
He gathered all his strength and dialled the "Stupid Wurst-Lover German," Ludwig, and prayed that he will do this right.
"Hallo?" A familiar German tone spoke and it obviously irritated the Italian.
"It's me, Lovino. My brother's in there right? Can I talk to him?" Thanks to his irritation, Lovino did not stutter at the thought of his brother.
"Ja of course. Feliciano!" Ludwig called Feliciano and now, Lovino can feel his heart racing.
"C-Ciao?" Feliciano stuttered as he spoke knowing who was on the other side of the line.
"A-Ah C-Ciao Feli… How are y-you doing?"
"W-well… I'm fine f-fratellone."
"I see… I-it's been a long t-time since we t-talked right? Already… two years?"
"S-si…"
"Well… I-if you're free, would y-you like t-to go to a resto with me? I'll treat you don't worry!" Lovino was full of determination so he didn't stutter at the end. Lovino then realized what just he did say. He fucking sounded like a 14 year old boy who was fucking head-over-heels on his crush and was now asking her out on a fucking date!
After a minute of great silence or so, Feliciano talked with his usual cheery and bubbly tone.
"Of course Fratello! Grazie mille! I'll go there now."
"Wha-wait a minute Feli! I'm going to pi—" Lovino did not finish his sentence anymore because Feli already hanged the phone. He just smiled to himself and started to get dressed. He then went to his resto and said to everyone that the whole place is reserved.
"But why? What's the occasion Mr. Vargas? Is it that important to you?" One female customer asked curiously. The other people and crew just exchanged curious looks as well.
Lovino just smirked and put his two fingers on his lips as if he was thinking then looked at the audience with seductive, wicked and half-lidded eyes.
"Ah~ you all know we need our own needs right? I need mine tonight." He winked at the lady who asked and was now blushing furiously. All the people have their eyes wide and mouth agape. They were all blushing madly as much to Lovino's amusement.
"Oh look at the time! My guest will be here anytime by now!" At that, everyone helped to arrange and clean the whole area. From the mantels to the vases and flowers, from the tables to the chairs, all went beautifully arranged. The crew changed their uniform into a traditional Italian costume. The customers said goodbye to Lovino and walked away. The other customers stayed and offered to play some instruments. Ah! Lovino was so excited!
Feliciano, as expected, arrived minutes after. All was ready inside and Lovino walked up to him and smiled.
"Fratello, when did this resto get built?" Feliciano looked at the resto with amusement.
"Well, last year… I… I built this resto… f-for you…" Lovino looked to the side to hide his "much-redder-than-his-precious-tomatoes" face. The people inside the resto looked at him and snicker because it was the first time they saw a "blushing" Mr. Vargas. Well, that isn't really their first time to see him blush. He always blushes at a simple compliment but this is their first time to see him blush when he was trying to flirt.
"R-really? G-grazie then… Let's go inside~! I wanna see what it looks like." Feliciano was also blushing when he pulled his brother's arm and went inside.
Feliciano beamed a smile at the crew, at the customers and to his brother. It was a smile that is so sunny that it makes everyone that saw it smile also.
"Wow… She looks so nice no? She always smiles and she also has soft features. She looks so delicate and soft-hearted, like her smile!" One guy told to the crew.
"Si. He really is nice and soft-hearted. And what are you talking about? A "she" you say? He is not a "she"; he is a "He" silly!" The crew replied to the shocked guy. "Yeah, yeah… That was my first reaction when I found out. He is also his brother."
"Eh?! He is also his brother?! Mr. Vargas loves a guy and on top of that, his own brother?! B-but h-how did it came to th—" The guy was cut by an old man of the crew.
"There are no buts and hows in love. Love needs no gender, no rules, and no standards. Can people control love? Can they control their feelings? Can they do that? Because if we people can do that, maybe Mr. Vargas wanted to fall for someone else." Said the old man but Lovino walked to them and said with a soft and loving smile:
"No, you're wrong. Even if I had the power to control my feelings, I will still choose him to be the one who I'm spending my whole life with until my last days." He said to them while having his arms wrapped to a blushing and smiling Feliciano. The two had tears formed in the corners of their eyes—tears of joy that they have been searching for years.
The people just looked at them happily. The two Italians ate, danced and talked to each other happily and satisfied while the crew and the customers that remained played instruments and watched them dreamingly while thinking 'they are really for each other' or 'they really deserve happiness' or 'you cannot find the love they share easily' or 'that is the kind of love that never ends!' or 'awww~ how sweet!' or 'I wish that I can find a love like their love to each other someday'. That night was one of their best nights. After the so-called "date", the people in the resto left.
The "couple" waved at them then went inside the resto.
"Ve~ I am so happy today Fratello. I never thought this would happen." Feliciano said while had his hands wrapped around his fratellone's waist.
"I am too Feli. I never felt so happy and complete before. I always feel contented with you and only you." Lovino said then kissed the top of Feliciano's head.
Feliciano let out a giggle then looked up to his brother. His brother raised up an eyebrow at him as if saying 'what's the problem'. He just grinned then perked up and kissed his fratellone's lips. He pulled away and laughed at the dumbfounded Lovino.
"Hahahaha! Y-you look s-so f-funny frate-llo!" Feliciano tried to say his sentence clearly but failed because he is laughing himself out. Lovino blushed at his brother's gesture but his dumbfounded expression was changed by a smile.
"Feli, you are really funny at times. But if you love a person and you tried to kiss them, be sure to kiss them longer. Like this…" Lovino leaned forward to his brother and kissed him passionately. Now it was his brother's time to blush. He was as red as the apple on the apple martini they ate earlier! He can feel all his blood rush to his face but he set aside his embarrassment and let himself feel Lovino's kiss. He can now feel Lovino nibbling his lower lip as he was pleading for entrance. Feliciano, who was new to this, didn't know what to do but opened his mouth anyway. Lovino's tongue entered and explored his fratellino's mouth. They were both had their eyes half-lidded and was breathing heavily. When they're lips parted, Lovino whispered seductively at Feliciano's ear:
"I just realized you really looked sexy and at the same time, looked innocently cute Feli. I wonder where your blush could reach up to hm? You really looked tempting. I'm worried that I cannot stop my desire any longer…"
Feliciano touched his brother's cheeks and kissed him again. "Then don't stop it."
With that, they made love under the moonlight in the resto, kissing passionately to heavy breaths to rigid pants to muffled moans to breathy moans to loud moans to silent groans to satisfaction.
"From now on, many people will judge us and look at us with criticizing eyes. But… Sometimes we have to fall before we fly. Remember that si? " Lovino said while combing his lover's hair.
"Si~ we'll gonna work it out." Feliciano said sleepily and smiling as he hears his brother's heartbeat.
Moments later, the younger Italian had finally dozed off to sleep. Lovino carried him bridal style to their bedroom and then positioned himself to sleep. He smiled and contentedly tuck them as he was looking forward to a new beginning.
