Warning: S4 spoilers (kinda)
Hey! I don't know how many of you know about the pic that appeared yesterday about S4, but I know that we at LF are absolutely thrilled by it, so I had to write something based on it. ;) I don't think this fic contains any relevant spoilers for S4, considering that I didn´t even mention which small part of this story the pic refers to, but still…if you don't want to know ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING about S4, then – stop with the reading right now ;)
You say it best…when you say nothing at all
˝Jack, listen to me. I know you don't trust me and I understand that I gave you no reason at all for doing so, but I´m not lying now. ˝said Ben, his voice unusually slow. He was still tied to the tree, but that didnt seem to bother him as much as the present situation did. ˝I´m telling the truth. Those people are dangerous. And there is no much time left. You have to do it. You have to make a decision. Who are you going to trust? Us…or them?
Kate´s eyes moved to Jack. He was standing there, in the middle of the clearing, surrounded by the people he got to know in the past few months…people he could call friends now. People who were his friends. She watched the features of his forehead frowning and his dark chocolate eyes going intense. She knew that posture. She could practically see the wheels in his head turning. He had to do it again. He had to make a decision. The decision that would probably determine the lives of forty people around him. He had to be a leader again. And she was the only one who knew how much he hated to be one.
˝Prove it! ˝she said, stepping out in the clearing. Jack turned around, momentarily startled from his thoughts. He watched her flashing him a quick glance and then turn around and marching towards Ben.
˝W-what? ˝Ben said in a squeaky voice. His whole attention till that point was directed on Jack and his reactions, that he hadn't even noticed the woman stepping out.
˝I said prove it. ˝Kate replied, coming to stand in front of him. ˝You´re saying that those others are dangerous and that we shouldn't trust them. ˝she continued, and Jack didn't miss to notice that ´we´ she used, instead of just ´he´. He sighed a bit gratefully, seeing her shifting the burden of the decision on all of them, not just him. ˝So, prove it. ˝Kate finished.
Ben remained still for a while, not saying anything. His eyes moved across the survivors, and for the first time, he didn't look like he was having any sinister intentions. His glance crossed the Losties once more, and then came to rest upon Kate again.
˝I´m afraid I can't prove that to you, Kate. ˝he finally spoke. ˝Not because I wouldn't like to, but because I can't. Sure…I could bring you all back to our camp and show you the proofs, but that would take too much time and…well, time is not exactly a thing we have right now. They´ll be here in an hour and we need to act immediately. ˝he said, his eyes locking to Kate´s. ˝They´ll probably send just a dozen of soldiers…yes, soldiers…˝he emphasized when he saw Jack and Kate´s baffled looks. ˝…for now, and we can deal with them with explosives. Later, we can reunite with my team and fight the rest of them together. ˝he said.
Jack and Kate said nothing. He sounded sincere, but still…neither of them couldn't forget their time in captivity. Especially Kate. It seemed that Ben sensed it too.
˝Look…Kate. ˝he started. ˝I know that I haven't exactly given you the motives to trust me…especially to you…but…you´re gonna have to try it now. I don't have ulterior motives with this one. Just like Jack, I have my people to protect and I´m gonna do my best to fulfill that duty. ˝he said, and then paused a little, his eyes traveling the group and landing on someone, his face sad. He turned back to Kate. ˝If it´ll help with anything, I´m ready to swear on my daughter. ˝he said slowly and both Kate and Jack turned to look at Alex first and then back at Ben. No one said anything for a while.
Then Jack spoke.
˝Okay, then. ˝he whispered slowly. ˝What do you need me to do? ˝
Ben looked at him for a few moments, seeing surprised with Jack´s move. Then he nodded slowly.
˝I know another place where the dynamites are placed. It´s not so very far from here, and it should be enough for this purpose. However…˝he said, pausing a bit. ˝…no one other than me and a few on my people is allowed to go there, so I´ll have to ask you to come alone. ˝he said, his eyes immediately flashing to Kate. He saw her opening her mouth to protest, and continued quickly before she had a chance to do it. ˝This isn't a set up. I know it´s hard to trust, but…I´m not the only leader in my camp and I´m sure Jacob won't be pleased with me bringing Jack too, but…I have to take that risk for my people. Besides, you have my daughter and I don't have any intention to do anything to risk her life. ˝he finished, looking again at Alex. ˝So, Jack…what do you say? ˝
Kate turned to look at Jack. She wanted to believe otherwise, but she already knew that he had made his decision. And she knew which one it was.
˝Okay. ˝Jack replied quickly, his eyes glistening with some new determination. ˝Danielle, could you please untie him? ˝he asked the tall woman; then, after seeing her nod, turned slowly to ask the second demand he knew would be a lot harder than his first one. ˝Kate…I need you to lead them toward the caves. Lead the back to the cav…˝he said and, seeing her about to protest, cut her off quickly. ˝Kate, I have to do this. You know I do. ˝he stated, his voice going quieter, making it possible only for her to hear it. ˝And I need to know they´re safe. I need to know that they´re in good hands, that this thing I´m doing wont cost them their lives. And you´re the only one currently present here I trust well enough to leave my people behind in a situation like this. ˝he said, his deep brown eyes penetrating hers, pleading her to accept, to understand.
And she did understand. No matter what, he´ll always be the one to care about other people's safety first. And she loved that about him. She loved it, but at the same time hated it, because he didn't have to be the one to worry about his safety, didn't have to be the one to ask himself every single minute of this day if he would be alright. No. ´Cause she was the one that would do that. But, she was willing to take that chance. She was willing to take that burden on herself…´cause it meant that he would have one less on his heart. He wouldn't have to worry about his friends…about her safety…and maybe it would make him care about his own safety more. Yeah, that was definitely worth of it.
˝Okay. ˝she finally said; her voice quiet with emotions.
˝Okay. ˝he repeated, his eyes watching her with the same tenderness they did just few hours ago, when he confessed her he loved her.
She felt a ball forming in her throat. What it…No, she wouldn't think about that. She couldn´t think about that. He seemed to guess what was going through her mind, because when he spoke again, his voice was quiet, almost like a whisper; while his eyes dug deeper into hers, trying to find a way to let her know it was going to be all right without words, just through his look.
˝Hey…I´m going to be okay. ˝he said, as he gently lifted her chin a bit with the tip of his finger, forcing her to look up. His eyes were soft, his forehead relaxed, and it reminded her on the last time he comforted her this way. The time when they kissed. She wanted to do it now too, she wanted it badly, but she knew it wasn't the time. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve her starting anything more until she cleared up her situation with Sawyer. She had broken his heart once and she wouldn't do it the second time too. No. The situation was messed up enough even without it. She had to be brave this time. She had to learn to deal with the consequences of her acts before she hurt people even more. She had to face her demons. To stop running.
To stop running. Yeah. That was the key. She finally understood it. As the realization hit her, she felt her eyes starting to fill with tears. But she wouldn't cry now. Not this time. This was the time for her to be brave. Because of her, because of their friends, and, most importantly, because of him. So she just tried to focus on his eyes.
˝I´m going to be okay. ˝he repeated quietly, his hand gently brushing hers. ˝I know I´m asking too much from you, but I really need that. I need to know that they´re safe while I´m out there…that you are safe. ˝he said, fighting with emotions himself. ˝Otherwise, I won't be able to concentrate on anything else. That´s why I need you to stay here. ˝he said, pausing a bit and then continuing, as something popped in his mind. ˝Do you remember what you promised to me that night…the night we opened the hatch? ˝he asked, his voice soft. She flinched, and he knew she knew what he was thinking of. ˝To have my back? ˝he added when she replied nothing. She nodded slowly, tears finally slipping through her eyes. Jack breathed in. It was so damn hard. To go without her. To make her stay behind. But he had to. For the safety of all of them. ˝Well, I´m asking you to have my back today too, Kate. ˝he said, continuing before he had a chance to let the emotions overtake him too. ˝I´m asking you to have my back and stay behind. Can you do that for me, Kate? Can you promise it to me? ˝he finished.
He listened to her sob quietly…and he let her do it. His hand went around her waist and he pulled her softly towards him, his hands landing on her back, drawing soothing circles as she cried on his shoulder, her tears making wet spots on his shirt, making him pull back all the words he said and just stay with her, to stop her from hurting so much. But he knew better than that. He had to know. He needed her to promise him that. He needed it to be directly from her heart…he needed it to be a real one. He needed her to say it. Not like the last time…when she ignored his demand and came back for him anyway. No. This time had to be different. She had to really mean it. Because that was the only was he could go on this mission.
He waited until the sobs quieted, and her body didn't shiver as much anymore; then pushed her away gently. He watched as she looked up at him, her eyes full of tears and yet, the most beautiful than ever. They were sad, but he could see something else in them now. Something new. Determination.
She took a deep breath.
˝I´ve got your back. ˝she mumbled, weaker than she had planned to. She lifted her hands and wiped away the tears with the back of her sleeve. ˝I´ve got your back. I promise. ˝she repeated, her voice more determinated now.
˝That´s all I asked. ˝Jack said slowly.
They both stood there, not knowing exactly what to do now, neither one willing to take the first step and let the other one go. Kate looked into his eyes and, once again, she could see all the love he felt for her in them. She didn't know how she hadn't been able to notice it before…to understand it before…it seemed so obvious now. And in that moment she made a deal. She made a deal with herself to clear this whole mess up and confess her feelings to him when they met again. But most of all…she made a deal not to hurt him again. Ever.
She looked into his eyes again…and found the strength in them. Found the strength to make the first step. To let go…at least for now. So she took a step back. He seemed to understand it too.
˝Well, I guess…˝he started, but she cut him off by raising her hand towards his cheek; his eyes closing reflexively at the touch of her warm skin. He took a deep breath, breathing in her scent…her presence. He opened his eyes and found her eyes again.
˝Be safe. For me. ˝she said quietly, brushing her fingers across his stubble one last time…before pulling away her hand and taking another step back.
Jack watched her, and he knew she was doing her best to stay calm…to stay brave. He knew this had to be done quickly.
˝I will. I promise. ˝he said, and with one last look in her direction, he turned away and headed towards the jungle; his walk slow, but determined.
Kate just stood there, watching him leave. She wanted to cry out something to him, tell him how much he meant to her and that she loved him too. But she knew it wasn't necessary. She knew he already knew it. Because, when it came to them, it was never just about the words. So she slowly turned around towards the group, towards her friends.
˝Let´s go. ˝she said. ˝The caves aren't as far and...we should reach them by 5 if we leave now. ˝she explained, her voice more determinate now. She managed it. She found it in herself. The strength. The strength to take the role of the leader…just like him.
Please r&r hugs
