Church sighs as he looks at his semblance of a team if you could call it that. This time his team didn't just have Tucker, Caboose, and Tex, but the Reds as well. There was also Doc but he just seemed to be there for moral support unless O'Malley had somehow imprinted violent tendencies on him which was unlikely.
"We are so screwed." Church mumbles.
The ruin Church needed the team for is huge and doesn't seem to match the aliens usual style. There was probably a lot of treasure and information to be found in the ruins but that isn't what Church was there for. The reason was a lot stranger. As they enter the main control room Church walks to the console full of blinking lights and turns to face everyone.
"Okay, which one of you went in here and touched something?" Church asks.
"Wait, that's what you called us all here for in the middle of the night?" Simmons asks.
"Dude, you could have just asked us at camp." Tucker says putting his sword away.
"Yes this is why but some people," Church says looking at Caboose, "Won't know what I'm talking about unless it's right in front of their face. So who pressed a fucking button?"
Everyone looks around. Grif shrugs and Caboose just looks confused. Church groans and rubs his temples wondering what he did wrong to make him stuck with this bunch.
"Um... guys the light stopped blinking." Doc says.
"Well that's one problem resolved." Tex says.
"No, I mean it's just steady red now." Doc says.
"Oh shi-"
Everything bursts white but before Church's vision becomes completely useless he sees Caboose's trigger finger tighten. Church doesn't even get enough time to curse when ringing fills his vision and gravity tears his body down.
"So you're sure this ruin is active?" Shepard asks Liara.
"I am sure Shepard the readings are off the charts." The Prothean expert says.
"I have a bad feeling about this commander." Garrus says his hand wandering to his gun.
"We have to make sure we get to whatever is causing this before Saren. If this thing is a weapon we don't know what Saren might use it for."
"We should hurry." Liara says.
Shepard nods and pulls out her gun; her helmet blocking her expression from vision.
"Keep your radios open for any sign of geth activity." Shepard says.
"Will do."
Shepard can feel what Garrus was talking about. She was getting the same feeling she had gotten back before the Blitz. Something big was up and she had to stop it for the good of the universe. Shepard is broken from her paragon thoughts as the prothean ruin starts to shake.
Garrus stumbles and Shepard grabs onto a wall. Shepard rights herself and continues forward. That shake seemed to have come from the center of the building. Without any resistance from anything Shepard manages to not blow anything up on the way there. As the trio enters the main room a beam strikes the middle of the floor.
"-iiittt"
Shepard stumbles backwards as something breaks into her mind. It felt like when the beacon had sent her information but much less... ancient? Shepard gasps and lifts herself off the floor. Shepard looks around, her eyes settling on the mass of bodies left by the beam. Then she looks down and her shoulders slack.
"Aw hell I'm a chick." Shepard says angrily.
"Commander, are you alright?" Liara asks.
"Church?" A voice pipes up from the pile.
A human looking male pops up from the pile. He was wearing full body blue armor and had a yellow face shield. He walks over to the three not even minding the guns Liara and Garrus had trained on him.
"Church. Did you turn into a lady?" Caboose asks.
"No, Caboose. I just ghosted into this woman's body. I'll leave as soon as I can." Church says.
"What's going on?" Liara asks.
"I don't know Liara." Shepard's voice comes out calmer than it had been.
"Shepard?" Liara.
"Yes... and no..." Shepard says.
"What?" Garrus asks.
"I'm still in here." This time the voice sounds more like Church.
"Please be quite I'm trying to talk to my team." Shepard says.
"And I'm trying to talk to your team." Church says.
"I was here first."
"Yeah so it's my turn now."
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"No."
"Yes."
"So we agree?"
"Shut up."
Garrus and Liara stare at Shepard as her voice fluctuates between the two voice patterns. Caboose is turned around staring at the decrepit hole in the ceiling that revealed the sky. Caboose's head tilts to the side. A groan comes from the pile of bodies and a purple helmet sticks up.
"Hey look they're dropping presents on us!" Caboose says happily.
"What?" Church and Shepard ask at the same time, "Stop copying me!"
Something hits the ceiling causing the room to shake and the ceiling collapse in. Three guns point to the cause of the collapse.
"Geth!" Shepard yells and ducks towards cover.
Liara quickly follows Shepard. Garrus groans when Caboose doesn't move. Garrus grabs the rookies shoulder and pulls him into cover. The Armature that collided with the ceiling stands up and charges a blast that hits close to the mass of still unconscious Reds and Blues. A shriek comes from the pile and a blur runs out of the room.
"What was that?" Liara asks.
"It kind of looked like Doc." Church says.
"I hope he can fight because it seems like there are a bunch of Geth that way." Garrus says.
Church chuckles from inside Shepard's head. Shepard shrugs and shoots the Armature with her assault rifle again. Garrus looks at Caboose and sees he's holding a perfectly fine looking sniper rifle but isn't using it.
"Can you shot that?" Garrus asks.
"Yes Mr. Kittenface." Caboose says standing up to shoot.
"No! Don't let Caboose use that!" Church yells.
A bullet barely misses Garrus' shoulder. He curses and snatches the sniper rifle from Caboose. Caboose looks down apologetically and mumbles an apology. Garrus sighs and hands him back the rifle.
"You can have it, just-just focus on the Geth."
-
"Why is this happening?!"
A purple armored man runs down a vine covered corridor bullets flying everywhere around him. For some reason robots were everywhere. After that huge explosion had startled him awake he had been running from robots. Robots with guns. Angry robots with super high tech laser guns. Doc almost wished O'Malley there with his rocket launcher. Doc immediately feels bad about that.
Doc shrieks again as a shot hits his armor. Now was not the time to feel bad about violent thoughts. He jumps over some rubble and thanks his track coach for pushing him to do hurdles. Doc notices a small pathway a little ways ahead. He could probably slip through and lose his robotic pursuers. Doc slides down against a wall as soon as he reaches a small room with no more of the robots in it.
Doc gives the room a quick scan. There was a weird pillar like this on the far wall but otherwise it was just about empty. Doc stands up to look at the pillar, maybe it would have some information about the current location. As Doc takes a step forward he hears a gun charging behind him. His foot stops mid-step and he raises his hands.
"Take off your helmet and turn to look at me, slowly." A male voice says.
Doc shakily unclips his helmet and takes it off before turning around. In front of him was an alien that was at least a head taller than him. The male was tall with skin in monotone colors. He looked terrifing to the medic. Doc couldn't help but shake in his boots.
"Who are you?" He asks.
"I-I-I'm F-frank D-defresne a-a medic." Doc stutters.
"Why are you here?"
"I-I-I don't kn-know. I-I j-just got tele-teleported here with t-the rest o-of my t-team."
"So you aren't with Shepard?"
"W-who's Shepard?"
"No one you will ever meet human." He says.
"A-ah. May I ask you're name?" Doc asks.
"No."
Doc stands there not knowing what to do. The alien signals Doc to sit by the wall. He walks over to the pillar and it lifts him off the ground. Doc watches amazed and then a gun shot breaks the mild silence.
"Saren!" A woman screams angrily.
There is gun fire from down the corridor. The alien, Saren, falls with blue blood leaking from his armor. Doc runs over racking his brain for knowledge on how to fix bullet wounds. CPR? No, that was for head shots. Saren groans and Doc looks worried. He notices a dispenser for something on the wall. He walks over and read 'Medi-gel'. It seemed be compatible with his medical gun thing.
Doc runs over to Saren and aims the gun at the bullet wound. Doc shuts his eyes and pulls the trigger. Saren groans again and sits up. He touches the hole in his armor then looks at Doc. Saren pushes Doc over. Doc blinks in confusion. Doc shrieks when a rocket blasts into the wall at the same height his head had been.
Saren stands up and grabs Doc. Doc wishes he had his helmet on because he really didn't want anyone seeing the raging blush on his cheeks as he feels his back flush against Saren's chest. Doc blinks as Saren carries him towards the door like that.
"Stand down Shepard unless you want a defenseless medic to get injured." Saren says.
Liara kind of wished she had stayed on the ship. As much as she loves Prothean technology the constant bickering between Shepard and Church was beginning to grate on her nerves. She wished she had found cover farther away from the two and now she couldn't leave because the Armature seemed hell bent on hitting her.
Liara sighs as more childish bickering comes from the duo. Liara stands up and biotic throws an explosive container at the Armature. Caboose gasps.
"The blue lady is a super hero!"
"No, she's a biotic." Garrus explains.
"... So she's a super hero!" Caboose says.
"Fine Caboose she's a super hero." Garrus sighs.
"We should call Joker to pick up all these people." Liara says.
Shepard nods and turns on her com to call Joker.
"Normandy this is Shepard we have something for you to pick up." Shepard says.
"Sorry Commander but we can't get in until you clear out some more of those geth." Joker says.
"Give us five minutes." Shepard says.
"This happens a lot, doesn't it?" Church asks.
"More often than you'd think." Garrus says while checking the pile for any newly conscious people.
Church nods and looks down the corridor. Shepard gestures for Liara and Garrus to follow her to clear out geth. There wasn't much left there since the energy spike must have just been from the group teleporting from whatever planet they're from. The corridor was empty of geth which was strange.
After a minute Shepard sees why the corridor had been so empty. All the geth were bottle-necked near a small passage which they didn't seem to want to go into or fire in. As soon as they hear Church's mumbled 'shit' they all turn. Everyone grabs cover and fires. After five minutes of almost none stop shooting Shepard stands up and goes to the passage. Shepard's eyes widen and she raises her assault rifle.
"Saren!" She shouts with fire in her eyes.
There was a startled gasp from down the passage and Shepard thought she saw some purple. She brushed it off as nothing and grabs her trusty rocket launcher, the thing every paragon talker needs, talking with a big stick and all that.
"Bow chika bow wow." Weakly comes from back down the hallway.
Shepard's brow furrows but she ignores it. She notices Caboose staring at the rocket launcher.
"Will you do the honors?" Shepard asks.
"Yes Ms. Nice Church!" Caboose says grabbing the rifle.
Caboose manages not to shoot anyone on his side of the passage. A less than manly shriek comes from down the passage. After a few moments Saren comes into view.
"Stand down Shepard unless you want a defenseless medic to get injured." Saren says.
"Doc, what did you do now?" Church asks.
"Church?" Doc asks confused, "Why are you a woman?"
"Long story, now shut up." Church says.
"I don't think that will be helpful to this situation." Doc says.
"It will just make everything a lot more pleasant." Church says.
"That's ru-" Saren's free hand covers Doc's mouth muffling the rest of his sentence.
"Shepard, times running out." Saren says tapping a pistol against Doc's brown hair.
Shepard grits her teeth. She couldn't just let Saren kill someone but if she let him go he would most likely wipe out all of humanity. Is the good of the many for one life an okay decision? If it was one of her own team would she be okay with taking Saren down? Did she really even want to take Saren down, really, that medic looked pretty good with Saren.
Shepard coughs into her hand. She really hoped no one suddenly developed mind reading abilities. Shepard holsters her weapon. Garrus looks at Shepard in disbelief.
"Shepard! What the hell are you thinking?" Garrus asks.
"We can't let anybody get killed." Shepard says.
"Saren will probably just kill him anyway." Garrus says.
"We have to trust in the power of PARAGON!" Shepard says with fierce determination.
"Um... the other kittyface took the bad doctor away." Caboose says.
"What!?" Shepard and Garrus scream.
Liara looks up from the pile of bodies as screaming comes from down the corridor. Liara rubs her temples hoping things would stop being so stressful soon.
TO BE CONTINUED dun dun dah
What in the world am I doing actually posting this. Eh, whatever now have a Tildy ~ Also Saren seems to have around twenty arms while carrying Doc around.
