AN: OK, OK. I'll be the first to admit that I should be working on ANL right now but the muse has left the building currently. It's Christmas Day, and this little one-shot popped into my head and I jumped at the chance to write something that I actually enjoy writing. Don't get me wrong, I love ANL (geeze that's an unfortunate acronym) but the lack of feedback/muse gets a little disheartening. Maybe a multi-chapter fic wasn't the best way to start fanfiction…

Anyway, this one-shot is obviously AU (if you read that in the voice of our leading man, 10 points to your house) and just a bit of silliness. It's quite mature though, so… maybe not for babies? OK, it's basically pure smut. I wouldn't say there's a whole lot of plot either, but that's just my opinion. It's totally Grape, so if you don't like, don't read. I find the pairing delicious.

Title: Professor Granger and the Enchanted Vanilla Slice
Rating: NC17+
Word Count: 2,771

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape

Warnings (in order of appearance): Potion Drugging, Masturbation, Mentions intended rape (but no rape), Scenes of a sexual nature.

Hermione Granger had never pictured herself as a teacher. Yes she enjoyed her time at Hogwarts and there was always that little buzz of excitement when she walked into the Great Hall first thing every morning and there had been a time when she'd fantasized about the profession, but six years of constantly nagging Harry Potter and Ron Weasley to do their homework - which usually ended in her doing most of the work for them - was more than enough to turn the muggleborn off taking up a position at her alma-mater.

However, when Minerva McGonagall had approached the now twenty-two year old with the chance to take over the position of Transfiguration Professor and Head of Gryffindor house, Hermione couldn't keep from agreeing to the position. Minerva had explained that she was simply getting too old to manage both roles, as well as overseeing the whole school as Headmistress and there was no one she trusted more to take over then the "brightest witch of her year". Hermione had found herself unhappy in her job over at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and had not even a week ago quit her job. She had been worrying that it was a foolish move when she had received an owl from her former professor asking to meet.

That had been a year ago and Professor Granger had soon found herself one of the more popular teacher at Hogwarts. So much so, that it hadn't even caused her to bat an eye when Martin Newt, one of her 7th year Gryffindor boys, approached her at the staff table during breakfast one morning in the December holidays with a gift.
"I brought you a treat, Professor." Martin said with a charming smirk, placing a smallish box on the table in front of her. "I remembered you liked them so… Merry Christmas, I'm sure I'll see you around."

With a wink, and before Hermione could say anything, he was striding back to his table.
"I never understood why you never instilled fear into them from day one, Granger." Came the voice of one Severus Snape to her right. The two had become confidants after she had saved his life after the final battle and eventually became good friends. He was always teasing her about the little crushes some of her students seemed to have on her. She insisted that he was just jealous. Of course that lead to a little flutter low in her stomach that maybe he just might be jealous of the attention she was getting. Her feelings for Severus Snape had been her deepest secret for the longest time - even when she was calling him Professor.
"Why Severus," She chided as she opened up what seemed to be a decorated Chinese take-out container, her eyes lighting up when she saw what was inside. "Just for that, I won't share my treat."

Pulling the large vanilla slice from the container, Hermione bit into it and couldn't help the little moan that escaped her lips. To her right, Severus could feel his ears growing hot from under his thick, shoulder length black hair. He swallowed thickly and averted his gaze from the intoxicating witch by his side as she devoured the custard pastry in a simply sinful manner. He'd never thought of the witch in any way - apart from thinking she was a busy little brown noser, albeit a bright one - until he had seen her during the final battle. She had looked so beautiful, all ablaze with courage and determination. Then she had saved him and he'd felt indebted to her, so when she came looking for his company he didn't turn her away. It was safe to say that Hermione Granger had become one of his closest friends over time. Unwilling to mess that friendship up, he'd never acted on the feelings he had developed for her even when she got just a little drunk and was more touchy-feely that usual.

"It's such a pity." Severus drawled, calming his mind and turning back to look at her just as the last of the desert passed her glorious lips. "And here I was so looking forward to sharing with you, like a child in the playground." His eyes drifted down to a small bit of custard left on her lip, causing him to lick his own lips. If only he could just lean forward and - a jerking movement to the left of him caused him to break his train of thoughts. "Hermione?" He asked, worry slipping into his voice. She suddenly looked very pained. "Are you alright?"
"I'm f-fine." She squeaked, shifting awkwardly in her seat, her thighs locking together.

Severus quirked an eyebrow, noticing the movement. "I suddenly don't feel too well, I think I ate too much. I should go." She stood up quickly, knocking over her pumpkin juice which dripped across the table and over the front.
"Alright?" Severus replied, waving his wand to clean the mess she had made. "Don't forget our plans tonight, I'll come by your quarters at 8 as per usual." Hermione barely managed to nod before fleeing from the Great Hall.

Making her way into her classroom, Hermione slammed the door shut behind her so that she could press her back against the cool, wooden surface. Just what was wrong with her? She'd just finished eating when she'd noticed Severus staring longingly at her lower lip, his delicious voice reverberating in her ears. It wasn't often that his voice didn't make her body drip with want, but this sensation was entirely different altogether. His voice, coupled with the way he was looking at her had instantly sent pleasure throughout her body, with moisture pooling between her legs.

As if it had a mind of it's own, Hermione's right hand moved to grope her breast through her teaching robes causing a husky moan to slip from between her lips. Stripping off layer upon layer, Hermione made her way to her chambers with nothing on her mind besides getting off. She barely made it to the sitting room before she couldn't take the feeling any longer. Throwing off the last of her clothes, she tried to make it to the couch before her legs gave way, causing her to fall face down onto the floor. Bringing her hips up so that she lay with her chest pressed painfully against the rug with her arse in the air, Hermione moved her hand down to slick her digits in her own juices. A low curse left her lips as her body shivered in pleasure. Making quick work of it, Hermione proceeded to rub her swollen clit moving her free left hand to pinch and roll her left nipple as she mewled and rubbed against the rug. She didn't care that the carpeted material of the rug burnt her skin as she withered, she only cared about that sweet release. However, no matter what did, no matter how she tried to fill herself, nothing worked. The ache was too deep inside her.

After an hour or so of writhing around on the rug, trying to scratch an itch that just couldn't be scratched, Hermione was raw and exhausted. Her knees, elbows, breasts and even parts of her stomach were rubbed raw with carpet burns. She flipped onto her back, her fingers still lazily circling her clit as tiny jolts of pleasure ran through her body. Slowly, she let the exhaustion overtake her before she fell asleep.

Severus Snape was worried. He hadn't seen Hermione since breakfast. She hadn't been at lunch or dinner. As he made his way towards her quarters for their weekly supper plans, his tread silent through the corridors, Severus was pulled from his worries by excited voices.
"It basically said that the potion would make her crazy with lust, but it would only be fixed by the object of her desire." One voice, where had he heard it recently, explained. This was met by excited chatter from at least two others. "I mean, you've both seen the way she looks at me in class, there's no way she doesn't have the hots for me. I bet she's up there in her room right now fucking herself while she calls my name, but she won't feel any release until I step in and save the day." Severus blanched at the way a student was talking about, what he only assumed was, another student and was about to step out from around the corner when a second voice chimed in
"Yeah, but she's a teacher so won't you guys get in trouble if you get caught?"

"So what? It'll be worth it to be balls deep in Professor Granger's tight cunt." Severus reached for his wand, jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach. Forget that this was a student talking about drugging a teacher so he could have sex with her. This was a student talking about drugging Hermione so that he could have sex with her.
"Yeah but… I mean, how do you know she's so tight and pure anyway? I mean, she's always with Snape. How do you know they're not doing the dirty on the regular?"

There was gagging noises and Severus frowned. Was the idea of the two of them together so disgusting? Of course Hermione felt the same way. It only made sense.
"There's no way the old man can even get it up anymore. Besides, Profe- no, Hermione needs a real man."

Severus had heard enough. He stepped out from around the corner, his wand raised. "Petrificus totalus." The three boys went stiff as boards and fell to the ground. Without even giving the tree of them another glance (though he couldn't help but step on Martin Newt's - oh yes, he recognised him now - hand as he quickly stalked passed), he hurriedly made his way to Hermione's classroom. He didn't even think about what sort of a state she might be in when he arrived, he just knew that she was in danger. The side-effects of this particular potion could be deadly if left too long and it had nearly been twelve hours since Hermione had been dosed.

Pushing open the door to the transfiguration classroom, Snape barely registered the discarded clothing on the ground until he opened the door to her chambers to see Hermione, completely naked and desperately fingering herself on the rug in the middle of the room. Carpet burns littered her body, causing Severus to want to go back out into the hall and beat Newt within an inch of his life. Then her eyes met his.
"Severus." Hermione pleaded, and he hated himself for the blood that immediately pooled in his lower abdomen. "Help me." He swallowed hard and moved to her, scooping her raw body up into his arms and carrying her into her bedroom. It was the only room in her chambers that he hadn't been in. He placed her gently on the bed so that he could move to the draw she kept the essence of dittany that they brewed together. "Forget that." She breathed, her fingers still working. A better man would have kept his eyes locked on hers the entire time but he couldn't help but let his eyes wander as the sound of her slicking juices filled the silent room as she touched herself. His gaze on her fingers had her crying out. "Severus, I need you. I need you to make love to me."

Severus nearly choked.
"I can't, Hermione. I won't take advantage of you when you're like this. I'll heal your wounds but then I really need to take you to the Hospital Wing. Poppy will be able to place a status on you until I can work on the antidote. It's the only other way."
"No. I need you to make it stop, I've been trying all day." Her face heated up and hot tears sprang to her eyes.
"I would only make it worse. It has to be the person you desire. If it's anyone else, it will get worse and you'll die or go mad." Why couldn't she see that he could never hurt her like that? As much as he wanted her, he couldn't sleep with her just for his own selfish gains. Severus refused to put his needs before her safety. "I… I love you. I could never hurt you. I know you could never - " He was cut off by her hands cupping his face and pulling him down for a searing kiss. He could smell her arousal even more now and he couldn't help but break the kiss so that he could lick and suck her soaked right hand. Hermione moaned loudly, her body twitching in excitement.
"Yes!" She cried, grinding her hips against the air. "Oh Gods, more. Please!"

He stilled, looking down into her eyes. It couldn't be… She couldn't possibly. The she echoed those four little but terribly important words.
"I love you too." Severus couldn't see any lies in her eyes, nor could he see any when she let him into her mind. He was the one she desired.

Pressing his lips back to hers, Severus kissed her hungrily, his hands fisting in her matted, messy hair. Her hands moved to his clothing, tugging and pulling on them. He moved her hands and made quick work of the many buttons, so that he was just as naked as she. When his bare skin touched hers, their breath left them in a sharp hiss. It was everything they'd ever dreamed off. His hands slid down her body but she stopped him.
"I need you now. I can't wait, Severus."

He nodded and positioned himself over her. He pressed in quickly, stilling only when he felt a slight resistance before he felt it break. He was her first. Before the guilt could seep into his every pore, Hermione began to move.
"W-wanted… it… to b-be… y-you." She panted, bringing her hands to cup his face so that their eyes could lock forcing him to see the truth. Nodding, Severus began to move within her.

Their two bodies fit perfectly together as they made love, their moans and sighs mingling together in the silent air of her bedroom. It didn't take long for Hermione to finally climax, her muscles clamping down around his length. Severus made to slip from inside her, assuming that she would want to stop now that the potion's effects had finally been brought to an end but she gripped his arm and shook her head.
"Don't assume, Severus. It makes an ass out of you and me." She teased, though she was so tired that her words didn't have the usual edge to them. "I want to feel you cum inside me." Severus swallowed hard and nodded, beginning to move within her once more.

Soon, they were both crying out as they came together. He thrust into her once, twice, three times, her tight walls milking him for all that he had before he rolled off her to lay by her side. They both lay there silently staring up at the ceiling, panting heavily, for a moment before Severus rolled off the bed and began to dress.
"Wait," Hermione breathed, sounding so worn out and small. "Don't go." She hated that she felt and sounded so hurt. He'd helped her out and now he didn't have any obligation to stay. She wasn't some damsel in distress, she'd helped defeat Voldemort for Merlin's sake, yet here she was begging the man she loved not to leave her.

Severus chuckled and stopped, his trousers hanging open as he leaned down and pressed his lips gently to her lips. "I'll be back as soon as possible, witch." He murmured against her lips. "Unfortunately, in my hurry to see if you were alright, I left three students in full-body binds outside in the hallway. As one of them was behind this mess - though I don't regret this at all - he needs to receive the proper punishment. Drugging a professor with the intent to…" He scowled, Severus refused to let the little bastard ruin what he and Hermione had discovered just now. "Sleep, you look exhausted."
"But you will come back?"

Smiling, Severus pressed his lips to hers once more.
"I will come back."
Hermione smiled sleepily and let her eyes drift shut, Severus watched her fall asleep as he dressed before turning and striding from the room, part of him hoping that their passions had carried out of the quarters into the hallway where the three, soon-to-be, ex-students lay petrified.

AN: So, I have no idea what this turned out to be. It started as an idea and then it was two hours later and I was finished. I've only ever written smut in tumblr roleplays so writing it as a fanfiction was a little weird and I think it came across as awkward, IDK. I'm not 100% happy with it but I spent too long on it to delete it. Yeah. I'll try to get some muse together for ANL hopefully by (if not within the first couple weeks of) the new year.