It had taken a while, but Momo had finally stopped asking her about him. About why she never told Konoha how she felt and who they once were to each other, but in her mind, it was for the best. When she had lived as a human, before her persona as Ene was born, she had been so cruel to Haruka because she was afraid of what her feelings would do to their relationship, and she was terrified of being rejected. She convinced herself it was for the better that Konoha remained in the dark about who they were to each other, but she missed him desperately. That, along with the fact that Konoha was now able to accomplish Haruka's dream of being surrounded by friends, made a sharp stab of jealousy go through her heart. She wanted to be with him, she ached for when his coal black eyes would only look at her, when her world was so small and simple. The eyes she saw on him now were pink and always on someone other than her, she wasn't anything to him now.
After joining the Mekakushi Dan, Takane had figured it would be fresh start, and that she would be able to bury Ene and her past self to live a new life. However, the moment she saw Haruka's avatar with the others, she knew it was only wishful thinking. She would never be able to bury the memories of her life, the cruel and painful thing she called her existence. Most nights, she wanted to cry, to mourn the two lives she had lost that seemed so much better than this one. Though she was surrounded by more people, it was not the people she loved the most, and most of them were mostly strangers to her tiny world. Even the people who had been in that small world seemed to be leaving. After Ayano's return, he had taken to staying by her side, and Konoha was no longer the Haruka she had fallen in love with. Her tiny world had been broken and rebuilt into something alien and unfamiliar.
Tears pricked her eyes and she wiped them away before anyone could see them, rubbing furiously at the unspoken words that pooled out her eyes. "Stupid," she muttered to herself, thinking of herself and her life and everything she never wanted. "I hate this..."
"Takane?" She looked over to see Momo with the groceries in her hand. Together, they had been sent on a minor mission by Kido to go get "supplies" from the convenience store. The trip had been mostly a void of silence that seemed to never end, and Takane had decided to stay outside, not wanting to be around people more than she had to. "What's wrong? Your eyes are all red."
The other girl turned her back to the idol and wiped more rapidly at her eyes. "I'm fine! Its just allergies!" She hated it when people saw her crying, it felt like they were just trying to find a way to pity her, and Takane had far too much pride for that. It took her a moment to realize her reaction was panicked and she muttered again, "Its only allergies." How she wished it was just allergies and not the tons of emotions that she was trying to hold at bay. The metaphorical dam she was using to hold them back was about to burst, and it scared her to know that, it scared her that she felt like at any moment she would collapse in a heap of tears and unidentifiable sobs. She took in a deep breath before turning back to Momo, "See, its just allergies." She sniffed for good measure to show she had a stuffy nose, though it was from crying.
Momo frowned at the older girl, but decided not to press further. "Let's go then, Takane. You'll probably want to get inside as soon as possible." Slowly she started to make her way back to their headquarters, shifting the bag of sweets and bread in her arms as she walked. The idol tried to keep her pace slow for her small senpai's sake, but she also got the feeling that Takane wanted to be alone. That feeling made her feet move faster than she wanted them to, and she found herself stopping frequently to look at Takane. Each time, it seemed like the black haired girl would fall more and more behind, her head always bend down like she was saying a silent prayer to herself.
It took ages before she managed to reach the headquarters waited patiently outside it so Takane could enter first. She watched her drag her feet to the entrance, and the smaller girl didn't give Momo a second glance before entering. She kept walking, never once stopping until she was out of sight. The younger girl could only watch after with sympathy pooling in her eyes. Slowly she followed after inside and stopped at the living room table, setting down the food from the errand she had just run. Although, she had a hard time meeting everyone's eyes. Kido who was looking at her worriedly, Kano who only grinned, Marry on the floor staring up at Momo, and Seto beside Marry. She wondered for a moment where Hibiya, Konoha, her brother, and Ayano were, but that seemed like it was unimportant.
"What's wrong, Momo?" Kido asked from her spot on the couch next to Kano. Concern flickered in her dark eyes. "You rarely aren't smiling or energetic. Did something happen?"
"Yeah, Momo," Kano smiled, a big shark-like smile that had deception written all over it. "What's wrong?" His time was mocking as if speaking down to a kid who was obviously not okay.
The girl took a seat on the floor beside Marry and pulled her legs up to her chest. "Its not something I can talk about," she said. "There's just someone I feel bad for, because she can't tell the guy she loves how she feels. She also has a new group of friends, but she doesn't seem to be handing that well. I wish I could do more for her, but there's nothing I can do. Nothing at all."
"That's quite the predicament," Kano mused, the grin never leaving his face. "Maybe this friend should ditch all her new friends and try again."
"That's not the problem," Mom said, shaking her head. "The problem is that she's already started over so many times, and... There's nothing any one of us can do, because we barely know her." Tears pricked her eyes and she wiped them away hurriedly, not wanting to smudge her make-up. A deep part of her wasn't happy with the way that Takane's life turned out, she wanted to go make things right herself, because she knew she wouldn't be able to handle the sort of life that meant you could see the one you love, but no longer be able to confess your feelings because they were no longer the same person. It made her heart ache just to think about it.
After arriving at headquarters, the first thing Takane did was rush to the farthest bathroom. She managed not to be seen by the others, which meant no one knew where she was - and she liked that. Her dam was beginning to break, the cracks fishering out and rapidly traveling down her well constructed walls. And by the time she managed to lock the door, the tears were already coming down. She curled up on the floor next to the bathtub, sobbing and mourning her life, placing her head on the side of the tub to feel its cool reassurance, but most of all letting her feelings out for the first time in a long time. Each of her personas were no more and she could feel it deep down that those lives would never come back, the care free easy lives that no longer were attainable to her.
A hoarse cry left her mouth, and she thought back to Haruka - she thought back to the happy times they had shared together in their tiny and special classroom. She remembered his smile, so carefree despite his illness and weak body. If she could go back, she would have told him how much she had enjoyed the shooting game that had made together, and she would hold and telling him how much she loved him. She would take back every mean thing she told him, and would try to take more advantage of the time when they were alone together. Another sad sob left her and slammed a palm into the bathtub. "Why?" she ground out to herself in what was left of her voice.
She was crying too hard to hear the door handle of the bathroom, jiggling around until a loud CRACK resounded through the bathroom. Slowly, Takane peaked up from the cradle of her arms to see the door handle had been broken along with most of the door, revealing Konoha, staring blankly at the mess he had made. "It broke," he muttered quietly. At that moment, Takane wasn't sure whether she should have been terrified he was here, or relieved. She accepted the former and furiously started to wipe her face. "Oh, it was occupied," Konoha said in the same voice. It took a few moments for Konoha to take in the fact that Takane had been crying. He moved further in the bathroom, and wrecking the door into a mangled mess. "Takane, is crying..." he said, kneeling down in front of her. "Crying isn't good..."
Under normal circumstance, Takane would have been furious that someone dared to get this close to her, but deep within Konoha was her beloved Haruka, and she didn't want to push him away. However, his position was far too close, especially with his much larger body, she was trapped between the tub and the toilet, her escape route blocked my Konoha. He was close enough to kiss her, if she just moved forward and up a bit, their lips would touch. "Har-Konoha...what are you...what are you doing here?" Takane muttered, almost sheepishly, feeling her cheeks burn at the thoughts she was just having. She continued to wipe at her eyes.
"Takane is crying," Konoha repeated, concern flashing deep within his pink eyes. "I don't want Takane to cry." He moved a little closer.
"Its fine - I'm fine," Takane lied, flashing him a false smile, "See? A smile means I'm happy."
"But you weren't smiling before."
Takane frowned, "No, I guess not..." She fell into silence and hoped that he would get bored of her and leave if she didn't say anything. However, Konoha leaned in a placed a tiny kiss on her cheek before roughly picking her up, his hands under her armpits. He stood up to his full height before Takane could escape his grasp, and she felt like a puppy behind held by a non-to-appeasing master. "Wha-What are you doing, Konoha?" Takane demanded, swinging her legs to try and make him release her.
"When I do this with Hiyori, and it makes her happy," Konoha explained. "I figures it would do the same for you, was I right?" He looked at her curiously, but showed no sign of setting her down.
She sniffed, the tears pricking her eyes again. "Yes, Konoha," she said, the tears spilling over. "It does." It was half life and half truth. While she loved Haruka, this was his dream to be strong and have friends. This was what he wanted, so she needed to accept it, every part of it. Even if he no longer felt the way he might of if they were how they were before.
"You're crying again," Konoha said. He set her down, but only briefly, before embracing her in a tight hug. "Please don't cry, it gives me strange memories I don't understand."
"Strange...memories?" Takane muttered, breathless in his arms.
"I get these memories of a girl with black hair, who was mean, but kind hearted. I feel like she meant something to me, but I can't delve any deeper than that." he replied, his grip on her never wavering.
Hearing those words immediately made Takane burst out into tears. She clung to Konoha's sweater, a strange mix of anguish and fear and joy, that a tiny part of Haruka was still there inside of his avatar - Konoha. Her Haruka was in there, somewhere, and she ached for him so badly, but it was him that was already there.
"Takane?" Konoha asked, looking down at the small girl in his arms.
She shook her head, "Its nothing. You just remind of someone I loved."
