A/N: This is a fun little one shot. Hope you enjoy it.
Thanks for your help Phoebe.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters.
Whump The One You Love
The sleek black sports car roared down the road, sirens wailing. The back end kicked out as the driver chucked it around a corner and into the heavy Honolulu traffic. Multiple horns blasted as the car weaved to avoid oncoming vehicles.
"What the hell is the matter with you, huh? You trying to get us killed?" The blonde groused.
"We need to catch the bad guys, and if you hadn't noticed, they're getting away." The driver glanced in his partner's direction.
"Eyes on the road." He yelled over the screaming engine.
The car bounced across the curb, fish tailing as it rejoined the traffic, now on the correct side of the road. An audible huff could be heard from the passenger side of the car.
"One scratch. You hear me. One, and you never drive my car again."
He barely got those words out before his head bashed the side window, as his dark haired partner pulled hard on the parking brake, throwing the car into a left hand skid. Their perps had turned off at the last second. They now sped down a tertiary road towards a number of industrial units.
"Hey, whoa, whoa. Tell me again why we didn't call for back up?"
"Really, you need me to answer that after all these years?"
"We should have called this in."
"Will you stop whining?"
"I'm whining?"
"Yeah, you're whining."
"And with good reason, you idiot. Whoa! Look out for that truck." Came the frantic cry, but it was too late. The reversing flatbed cut off their route.
It all happened as if in slow motion. The long trailer cut through the passenger side front end like a hot knife through butter. Tires squealing, metal crunching and scraping, he could still hear the cacophony of sound ringing in his ears.
Apart from the sharp pain in the back of his neck, and the dull ache in his stomach, the rest of his body felt weirdly numb. Unable to move his head he lowered his gaze. That can't be good. Rusting iron work imbedded in your gut. Muffled words broke through the now silent interior of his car, making him look up. The face that greeted him was a mix of shock, anguish, and utter dread.
You, my friend, have a face.
He wanted to scream at his partner for damaging his car, but liquid filled his throat cutting off his air supply. It brought with it that all too familiar metallic taste to his mouth. He felt like he was drowning. People drown in water. Oh no, not him. Nothing he ever did constituted normal. Especially with a trouble magnet at his side. And there he was, staring right back at him. Tears streaming unabated down his cheeks. You big goof. Why are you crying? Its not your car that got wrecked for the umpteenth time.
His vision began to grey around the edges, and he felt his eyes begin to roll back. His last memory in his dying moments, would be of his best friend's hand gently stroking his hair.
"Grace stop! Please for the love of God just stop."
"Danno, I'm not finished."
Danny threw an aggravated look at his partner. "I just need to speak to your Uncle Steve."
"Right now?" Grace pouted.
"Here." Danny flicked on the TV and before he passed the remote to Grace, he turned the volume up. "Watch something."
"Danno, it's loud. You never let me have it -"
"Grace, Monkey, this is a special occasion. You have permission to turn it up full volume."
"You." Danny pointed at Steve. "Kitchen! Now!"
Steve frowned, but did as his friend asked. Danny closed the door behind them, and practically flew at his partner like The Tasmanian Devil.
"I can't believe you helped her write that. What the hell were you thinking?" Danny paced the kitchen massaging his temples with both hands.
"I don't understand, Danno. It's great, better than great, fantastic. Her punctuation and spelling is better than yours, buddy."
"I'm not talking about that you idiot. You wrote a story based on us." Danny stood still and waved his hand between them. "And you didn't just whump me, Steven, you killed me off." Danny's voice rose in volume, as he finished the sentence.
"No, it's not based on us. Whump? Have you heard yourself Danno?" Steve stood hands on hips.
"You expect me to believe that. The blonde guy, with his dark haired partner. And a black sports car he's not allowed to drive. Sound familiar? It doesn't take a genius to work it out."
Steve couldn't help the giggle that escaped his lips. "You are whiney."
"You think this is funny? You got my teenage daughter to write a death fic."
"So, there's some similarities." Steve shrugged his shoulders.
"There's more than a few, Steven. I'm surprised you didn't get her to blow me up."
"Why didn't I think of that?" Steve sniggered.
"Shut up, you goof." Danny grabbed the hand towel off the counter and flicked it at his friend.
"Hey! Easy, buddy." Steve jumped back, raising his hands in surrender. "When did you become such an expert?"
"I read, Steven."
"Let me guess. Romantic fiction."
"Books, babe." Danny made his way to the door only to have it blocked by Steve.
"You know you're not getting past without telling me." Steve ripped the towel from his partner's hand and stood poised to strike him with it.
Danny sighed deeply. "I read Fanfic. Happy now?"
"Fanfic? I need specifics." Steve flicked him with his newly acquired weapon, catching Danny's arm.
"Ouch! Fine. I read stories on a Fanfiction site."
Steve threatened to hit him again.
"CHiPs. Happy now." Danny tried but failed to look annoyed.
"CHiPs? Oh, wow Danno. That piece of information is priceless. Wait 'til I -"
"Don't you dare tell the others. Anyhow, it beats reading Guns and Ammo. Now let me get back to my daughter." Danny made to walk around Steve.
"Make me." Steve crossed his arms over his chest.
Danny shoved Steve sideways against the wall. The two friends began to fight over the cloth, when the door flew open, and an unhappy Grace appeared.
"You should have just told me you didn't like it, Danno." Grace spoke with a hint of sadness.
"Grace, baby, I loved it." Danny ran a hand through his hair. "It just needs a few changes."
"Fine, but I want you to help me." Grace smiled at Steve. "And Uncle Steve."
"I'll be there in a sec. You make a start with your dad."
Steve leaned against the door jam and listened to his partner talking animatedly to his daughter.
"Change the car to an HPD cruiser. And why haven't they got names. Call them Frank and Joseph. And you whump the one you love. You don't kill them off. That way you can have a hospital scene. One last thing - don't forget the hard plastic chair. That's what the vic's best friend sits in."
Steve smiled affectionately, and then pulled out his cell. He started an internet search. Pleased with himself when he found what he was looking for.
"Okay. Search TV shows. Magnum P.I."
~ the end ~
