So, here you have it, no Mpreg, just America...being America...

Thanks to SnowGirl999 for the suggestion!


America walked stealthily into the conference room. He was late, and he knew it. But he didn't the rest of the world to…because then England, the country with the stick up his ass, would start yelling at America. God…

He walked in the door only to have a small body slam into his legs, causing him to almost drop his burger. Almost. His baby was safe in his hands once more, without a pickle out of place. Then a larger body collided into the smaller body still clutching onto his legs, sending him backwards into the hallway, his hamburger flying out of his hands and splattering as his back hit the hard carpeted floor with a thump.

He lay there for a moment, trying to overcome the shock. His baby, his meat and buns and ketchup and pickles and lettuce and tomatoes and…etc, were splattered all over a furious England and a mini England wearing a hat. But right now, those two people weren't recognized or registering in Alfred's mind. Neither was the crowd gathering in the doorway of the conference room he'd just been knocked out of.

"SEALAND, GODDAMMIT—" Arthur opened his mouth, yelling at the boy between the two of them.

"MY BABY! MY BEAUTIFUL BELOVED! HURT…NO…DEAD!" America started to scream over everyone's whisperings, causing everyone to go dead silent. Baby?

Sealand felt everyone's eyes turn on him, finally getting the attention he thought he'd wanted. England and America were the only ones not looking at him, America sobbing, and holding some sort of wrapper, and England was looking at America, a horrified and confused expression on his face.

America scooped out a bun, and cradled it to his cheek. "Daddy's here!" But from where everyone else was standing, it looked like he was telling Sealand this piece, implying…

Everyone was now mentally noticing Sealand's blue eyes…his hair not England's shade of blond but America's…but the bushy eyebrows all the same, England's.

Sealand felt the panic in him rise to intolerable levels, until he stood up and bolted down the hallway, a Finnish man pushing his way through the crowds to follow, a stoic Swede following close behind.

The rest of the meeting, everyone was sending glances at the mourning American and the Brit, who were sat next to each other by some horrible work of coincidence.

England was so embarrassed. America had started spewing this "my baby" crap, and now…now everyone was whispering that England had had a secret love child with the American, and that was why Peter had been hidden away for years. He didn't know what was worse, the fact that Alfred had blurted that out due to a SANDWICH or the fact that he'd called himself daddy, making England…Sealand's supposed mother. He was never going to live this down, the way France was looking at him across the table, his grin growing by the moment, his perfectly trimmed French brow raised ever so slightly.

The meeting ended, and someone suggested they all meet in someone's suite, and have dinner brought in. The group dispersed, heading back to their hotel rooms to change and get ready for the social gathering, some heading out to buy beer and wine. England planned on staying far away from those, and the gathering. America, on the other hand, was so oblivious that he had no idea what he'd said, or the misunderstanding that had occurred. He picked up some beer, and threw on different clothes and headed down to the party.

Sweden and Finland were absent, along with the mini-England. That was odd, considering how Finland loved to socialize. The Swede probably was the one who didn't want to go. He just stared at Finland the entire time, or slowly crunched the glass of alcohol in his hand every time "IKEA" was mentioned. America thought nothing more about them, forgetting why he'd even noticed this in the first place.

He dropped off his donation of alcohol and grabbed a Guinness, a personal favorite of his. He looked around for England, but saw not a burly eyebrow. "Huh, I thought he'd be here. He likes getting drunk. Maybe he's still mad for whatever it was I've done. I mean, he was the one whose face ran into my precious burger, not the other way around. Maybe its because he thinks I haven't forgiven him for it! I have, now that I've had five more before I came here." Alfred sipped his drink slowly and thoughtfully. He turned when a cough sounded next to him.

"Amérique! Mon Cher! Today must 'ave been quite zhe day for you, non?" America looked at France, confused.

"Seriously, I don't know why everyone is making such a big deal out of it. It was just a sandwich that smashed all over England and that mini-England."

"You call your own son "mini-Angleterre"?" France raised a skeptical brow at the American. "Really, I don't see why you 'ave hidden zhe child anyway. It is obvious he iz a country as well." France stopped, noticing the face America was giving him.

"France, I have no idea what frenchie talk you are spoutin', but I don't have a kid."

"You said so yourself zat you were zhe father! Z'ere iz no reason to hide l'amour! I always believed you and Angleterre were more involved, as you say, than you let on." France smiled, and stood, moving to grope someone as he disappeared into the crowd, leaving the American very confused. Mini-England wasn't his kid!

A couple of people passed by him, one being Japan, who Alfred waved to. Japan nodded, and came over after a couple minutes.

"Hello, America-san. I was most surprised at hearing you had become a father. Congratula—"

"Not you too! Everyone seems to think I have a kid! And with England!"

Japan looked rather taken aback at the outburst, his face clouding with confusion and embarrassment. "Alfred, that child this morning, you called it your baby. And…Sealand, I believe his name is, obviously shares traits with both of you. He has your eyes. And don't you like England as more than a frie…"

"WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT IN PUBLIC!"

"Well, Alfred, could there be a chance you…er…fathered the child without meaning to, without your knowing? Could there have…um…been such an opportunity?" Japan was very red in the face, but plowed on, wanting to know the answer to a question many had wanted answers to for years, while also trying to help his friend.

"Not that I…wait, the kid is a country, right? So he wouldn't age that…oh my god…but that was seventy years ago…" America's face paled.

"What was?" Japan worked to keep his face from looking too eager.

"We both had a ton to drink…it was during the second world…I gotta go!" America ran off, leaving a half-full Guinness behind, opening the door to the suite, and running down the hall at a breakneck pace, leaving Japan filled with yaoish glee behind.

England was trying to read his novel, but kept remembering the scene over and over. He'd been chasing Sealand out of the meeting, as always, then he'd knocked into America, getting covered in fast food grease, before those embarrassing comments were said out loud. Then he'd gone back to his room to change before rejoining the meeting. Over and over they played. God damn that American, interrupting his thoughts…blue eyed, muscular, teen-heart throb, American…made him wish he and America had had a love child together, just so they could have enjoyed the making bit…

A tremendous banging interrupted England's thoughts; a blush now spread across his face as he shoved such thoughts aside.

He got off the bed, and the knocking became more insistent. "I'm coming! Stop the knocking!" Arthur opened the door, only to be thrown backwards as a tall American burst into the room. England hit the floor, a newspaper discarded on the bed next to him slipping down onto his head.

Before him stood Alfred, looking very pale and upset.

"Arthur, that night we got drunk senseless, way back when and woke up sharing a bed…did anything happen that night? Is mini-England…ours!" England just stared at the American. "'Cuze if he is, I'd like to help you in any way I can! I'll pay child support, whatever!" Alfred took his hand, his face pleading.

It took England a moment, trying to remember what Alfred had been talking about, until the memory surfaced. They'd both woken up…to discover themselves in only their underwear, and Arthur had been snuggled up under Alfred's arm, his head nuzzled to the younger blonde's chest. His cheeks got redder.

"No, Alfred, nothing happened that night. We fell asleep after strip-poker, but I was so embarrassed, I told you we were never going to discuss it or tell anyone about it…" Arthur looked sheepishly away.

"Oh…so who's his father?" Arthur felt puzzlement over the fact that Alfred's voice sounded…disappointed that they hadn't had sex that night. And jealous…

"Alfred, he's not my child…he's just my little brother who got adopted by Sweden and Finland. Peter…he's an old abandoned military base in the channel who appeared one day after a guy claimed it as his own country."

"Oh. That's too bad." America sat down next to him, playing with the zipper of his bomber jacket.

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Um…" Alfred tensed. "I sorta hoped that…um…" looked down and saw the newspaper which had slid off of Arthur's head into his lap. He wanted to do anything to get off this subject, where he almost admitted he was disappointed he and England never had sex. Reading the headline, it was the sports section…the baseball stats, an excellent way to divert the subject! Whipping the paper off of England's lap, he started to read it, finishing his conversation quickly. "That we did it. But that's ok, never have to discuss it again."

"Oh" England just stared at the wall, America at the paper. Then, his face possibly getting even redder, Arthur voiced a proposition that came from his crotch, skipped his brain altogether, and came out of his mouth. "We can fix that if you want. If you're up for it."

He flinched when Alfred didn't answer. I've over stepped a boundary…

"Yeah, we could." The paper was down, and Alfred was very close to Arthur now. "But before we go any farther, do we share the same feelings, or is this simply…sex?"

Arthur looked into those eager and pleading eyes, his heart beating a mile a minute…god save the queen! When his brain finally started t work again, he let the words slip right out.

"Alfred, I've loved you as more than a brother since the revolution…" Their lips met, and they somehow made it back onto the bed.

"And luv, one more thing, as two male countries, there isn't a way for us to have children in the first place." They both smiled devilishly at each other.

"We don't have to tell everyone else that."


Reviews be love! Thanks again to SnowGirl999 for the idea!