If you are reading this story on Fan , then you're reading about a perfect high-school student with two perfect roommates and an overall perfect life. This guy gets awesome, unspeakably great grades, has an extremely high-class social life, and lives perfectly. Every morning when his roommates wake up, his friends patiently wait for him, keeping the room tidy as possible. In class, he has a very interesting teacher, and a very good friend named Violet Baudelaire, of which they are dating.
Well, you're reading the wrong story.
My name is Duncan Quagmire, and I go to Prufrock Preparatory School with my triplet sister Isadora. Long ago, my mansion burnt down, killing my parents and triplet brother Quigley. My teacher back when, Mr. Remora, threatened to kill me and get the Quagmire Fortune, as well, as the Baudelaire Fortune, for he was working for Count Olaf.
My best friend, and secret crush, Violet Baudelaire, is here at Prufrock along with her middle-schooled brother Klaus and elementary-schooled sister Sunny. I have two roommates, Andrew and Brownley, and every morning, after they leave the dorm to go to breakfast, while I'm still in the bathroom, on account of their beating me to it, they leave the room a complete mess.
My life is not perfect, so get it right as quick as you can, because you'll need to know that to read this story. I have had one recent adventure, and it all started one lunch period. I was having lunch with Violet when an office worker came up to me. "Are you Duncan Quagmire?" she asked.
I nodded.
"This telegram is for you," she said, handing me a sheet of paper.
I read it, and almost passed out. My face turned white as a sheet, and I felt dizzy. "Duncan? Are you okay?" Violet asked. "Duncan!" She grabbed a glass of water and threw it into my face. This attracted everyone's attention.
"Oh my Lord, Quigley's alive!!" I screamed.
"Your long-lost triplet brother?" she asked. I nodded. "And he'll be coming here! I can't wait to ask him how he survived when he gets here."
"Tell him while he's still here," said a voice.
I turned around.
Standing in front of me was my long-lost brother, Quigley Quagmire.
