A/N: I seem to be on a bit of an angsty fic writing spree at the moment... This is my first Farscape fic, a missing scene/POV from 'Infinite Possibilities: Icarus Abides'. Hope you like...


Tragedy. It strikes when you least expect it, destroying well-laid plans and ruining the lives of everyone it touches. We've always managed to escape it before, often bruised and broken, but alive. This time, however, lady luck doesn't seem to be on our side..

I'm dying, my life slowly slipping away like sand through my fingers. With the countdown ticking away in my mind, I struggle to finish preparing the module. The knowledge, though my life slowly fails, is still there. I know what I have to do and I know how to do it. I pray I have the strength to finish this.

There. The module's ready. I slide off my precious ship, only to nearly crumple to the floor as my legs refuse to hold my weight.

"John?"

Oh no. She noticed. In a moment, she's there, reaching out to steady me before I hit the floor.

"Are you hurt?" Her eyes scan my body, looking for any sign of an injury she hadn't noticed before.

"No," I lie. "I'm fine."

I might as well have not said anything—she didn't believe me. "What happened? What did she do to you?"

"No," I feebly try to push her back. "She didn't do anything."

"What's the matter?" She asks, pulling me back to face her.

"She didn't..."

There's nothing I can say to make her believe me. It's obvious I'm not fine; my body is growing weaker with every second that ticks past.

Unable to escape her intense gaze, I take her face in my hands and pull her close for what may be our last kiss. It only lasts a moment before she pushes me away.

"What...is the matter?" Her eyes bore into mine, fear showing clearly in the pale blue depths.

I shut my eyes, resting my forehead against hers. I am going to die. That's what the matter is.

"Radiation. Massive radiation. I couldn't...help it. I couldn't stop it."

She backs away, shaking her head in denial. "There has to be something you can do."

"No, I have to finish this." With what little strength I have left, I try to push her away. The Scarrans are coming; Crais and Stark are on Talyn, waiting for me to do what I have to.

She grabs me suddenly, forcing me back from the module. "You're finished here. I'm flying the mission."

No! I grab her, jerking her back off the ladder before she climbs into the module.

"Aeryn, you don't know what to do."

She cuts me off, her voice frantic. "You will talk me through it. You will get help, and you will not argue with me on this one."

"Damn it! This is not something I can coach you through! It's half intuition, it's half feeling. I know it like I invented it."

She trembles, her eyes meeting mine again. "So it's your life for everyone else's?"

My voice softens as I gaze at this woman, the only woman I've ever truly loved. "And you're different how?"

"I'm different because I love you." Unshed tears glisten in her eyes. My heart breaks for her and I want to hold her, to comfort her and tell her everything will be alright.

"Then you know I have to do this." I whisper, brushing her cheek with my thumb. "I'm coming back."

A tear slides down her cheek, cutting a trail through the grime on her face. Without another word, I turn and grip a rung of the ladder, half expecting her to stop me. She doesn't. Instead, I feel a warm hand on my back, steadying me as I weakly climb into the module.

I collapse in the seat, winded. Time is running out, I have to go now.

"John..." I look down at the sound of her voice. "I love you."

Tears sting my eyes and I have to swallow before I can answer her. "I love you too, baby."


Please let me know what you think! Reviews make my day.